General Discussion

my parents are soo deadset on me having blood-born children and im like

never felt the love of adoption, have you?

-finger guns-

that and since gender is based on ever-fluctuating societal norms i have no idea who i am anymore and honestly, i don't care!! do like girls still. butbutbut currently i like a boy so hopefully i won't be a disappointment to my family

hahahahahahhahakillme

so for those who may have read my previous posts, I've finally decided to just stick to IDing as non-binary. It's nice and fitting for my experiences, so that's what I'm goin with!

I finally settled with it after receiving some input from my LGBT+ youth support group (they're such amazing people holy crap), and it helped me become comfortable with coming out as non-binary to my immediate family and friends. Social phobia is Fun so I did it via email, not to mention I sent it at like. 1am haha
Everyone is very supportive, albeit some are more confused than others, but they're all willing to learn which I don't mind at all! though I did try to answer some common questions in the email lol

overall I'm just happy to finally be comfortable with my identity!

[quote name="Unquestionable" date="2018-07-26 06:26:57" ] So, I posted on here a while back (Maybe a month or so) and I feel as if I said something about being unsure about my gender and sexuality. Currently, I am going with the labels of Asexual Demiromantic and Non-binary. The thing is currently I feel as if I am faking it, being non-binary and all. I like skirts and dresses and I kinda want to wear make-up. Also, I've never felt too dysphoric. But on the other hand I have days where I dislike feminine things entirely (Not exactly hate but close) and I have also cringed at ticking 'female' on a form. Help? [/quote] I had the same problem. My advice is to practice not caring too much. If you just go with the flow and not worry about labels things get easier until you find the right deal for yourself. I know it's very hard, which is why I say practice. Questioning your identity is normal, and feelings like the feeling of faking it can come from a real place or from fears about the repercussions of identifying differently or the constand barrage of naysayers. Just try to relax and you will get through it. Good luck.

Hello all!

I think im asexual or demisexual, but im not sure really? I've had crushes to people before, but not romantically. I don't know if you can say this word but I think s_x is kinda disgusting. I don't know why either, every time someone brings it up, I get super unconformable and revolted. I tried to get out of that mindset and think differently but I can't. I think I like to stay in my own bubble. ^_^

[quote name="Unquestionable" date="2018-07-26 06:26:57" ] So, I posted on here a while back (Maybe a month or so) and I feel as if I said something about being unsure about my gender and sexuality. Currently, I am going with the labels of Asexual Demiromantic and Non-binary. The thing is currently I feel as if I am faking it, being non-binary and all. I like skirts and dresses and I kinda want to wear make-up. Also, I've never felt too dysphoric. But on the other hand I have days where I dislike feminine things entirely (Not exactly hate but close) and I have also cringed at ticking 'female' on a form. Help? [/quote] As a trans-guy who never really had dysphoria pre-transition, I get the feeling of faking it. Something I found most interesting was despite the increased dysphoria post-transition, I also realized I'd be fine wearing girl clothes if I had a guy's body. And when I first realized that my brain kinda did a full stop and was just like, "wait... what?" Now I'm having fun with my hair being just long enough to pull back into a small ponytail whereas before I kept it super short [size=2]even pre-transition I preferred short hair[/size]. What I'm trying to say is: if you feel like you're faking it, you're probably not. [size=2]I saw something that said the same about mental illness but I think it applies to more than just that.[/size] If you end up changing your mind later, it still doesn't mean you were faking it now. It just means things changed.

[quote name="@Cosimia" date="2018-07-26 08:40:13" ] Hello all! I think im asexual or demisexual, but im not sure really? I've had crushes to people before, but not romantically. I don't know if you can say this word but I think s_x is kinda disgusting. I don't know why either, every time someone brings it up, I get super unconformable and revolted. I tried to get out of that mindset and think differently but I can't. I think I like to stay in my own bubble. ^_^ [/quote] Yo I'm the same! I also am repulsed whenever that subject is brought up or implied and I have never found jokes about it funny, just gross. I've never been attracted to anyone romantically or sexually lol. Also, non-romantic crushes are called squishes! It's where you feel the same feeling of wanting to spend time/be friends with someone, but you never feel like you want to be in a romantic relationship. It's purely platonic. I know I've had them, and when I learned the term I was so happy lol. Also no need to change your mindset! It's fine to feel revolted/uncomfortable about certain things, just because other people seem to love it so much doesn't mean you have to as well!

Aaaaah! So many fellow aces
Anyway, what up. I'm asexual and most likely aromantic, have been IDing as that for about 4 years now! Mostly I just never understood dating, crushes, things like that for as long as I can remember. In elementary school I as pretty confused when, like, 2nd graders would say they were dating. And in middle school I didn't really get it when my friends called people hot. I guess I just sorta found the label one day and went "Ohh, that makes sense." I'm just not really interested in people like that and never really saw the appeal in a relationship or all the mushy things that come with it? Hope I'm not coming off as jaded or cold or anything like that. The closest I really get is, "Oh heck yeah, we'd be awesome roommates!"

Fortunately my friends and close family have been pretty accepting and understanding. I've always been pretty comfortable in my identity, though lately I've been running into some discomfort? ~The Discourse~ has been pretty rampant on Instagram lately, and most people on there don't even bother to have a civil debate. I've just been trying to avoid it as best I can, but there's some places where it's hard to avoid.

I guess I've also been a bit nervous on if it comes up with my therapist? I've recently started getting help due to anxiety and recent events in my life. It used to be classified as a mental disorder, and I'm just worried that she might still think that way. I know it's mostly irrational, but there's still a possibility.

Aaah oops, sorry about the wall of text.

Continuing with what I was saying in my last post: [img]https://i.pinimg.com/564x/0d/57/c1/0d57c126cb3cebf15f544ea770f05737.jpg[/img] ----- But also hello fellow ace/aro buddy @Cattestrophic! :D I'm also someone that didn't really get or understand my peers having crushes and stuff. I used to think I had crushes on people, but I really just find some people aesthetically pleasing, some more than others. Every relationship I've been in has ended within a year, one because I didn't like him the same, another one because we were better off friends, and another one because both of us were ace but I was much more aro than she was. There have been two people in my life (though it's now down to one, and possibly actually none) where I thought I could spend the rest of my life with them, and it was never because I had romantic feelings towards them. The one that I go back and forth with is merely still on the list because I've known her practically forever and I've also had her as a roommate one and off for like... four or five years. But she doesn't want to live with anyone anymore and I'm getting to that point too. When it comes to your therapist, I'd say try to get her opinion on it first, though that may be hard simply because of the nature of therapists. Maybe tell her you came across the term or something and were ~considering it~ (idk). But perhaps if you bring it up in that manner she won't be as quick to go down a bad road if she thinks that way. [size=2]I had a super cool lesbian therapist and tbh I'm counting down the time before I can legally add her as a friend on facebook but anyway I feel like you can typically understand therapists based off their sessions with you so if you think she'd be chill with it, tell her straight out. I also created a wall of text, oops.[/size]