General Discussion

@OpalTitanium That's exactly the kind of reaction I'm looking for so I am ecstatic!

I'd be happy to exchange Google Docs with you sometime and maybe we could workshop each other? That's the one thing I really miss about my creative writing class (>_<).

Also, I think your idea is highly interesting. And just because the premise is unoriginal, doesn't mean the story itself is!

@Mamushi exactly, that's what I'm hoping for xD And also thank you! It really means a lot

Also yes I'm totally down for that! I just am very bad at actually starting things, and then following through once I start, so I honestly haven't written in a while. But I do really want to xD
Also I wanted to take creative writing so badly but my schedules were always filled with AP classes and art classes and what nots and I never got the chance- maybe I still will at some point though who knows

Anyway I think moving to a different platform would probably be best for all of that xD
If you're okay with that I can PM you :)

@OpalTitanium Of course, absolutely! My DMs are always open <3

@OpalTitanium

Yeah I'm down to talk about how the combination of adhd and autism affects my day to day life! But I'm not sure yet if I'll join the Discord since FR is one of the very few places I feel comfortable enough to chat on, so I think I'll keep the conversation here for now until the anxiety goes away.

Just a little disclaimer first, autism is a wide spectrum and my experience is just one of many variations but it can be broadly summed up to a Social/Language disorder and so how it affects me might not be how it affects ItsKnifeTime. (Though that's true for a lot of things)

I'll just talk about the social aspect for now and do another post(s) about other things later if anyone wants it.

Autism in me manifests as being very literal. I can't do the whole 'beat around the bush' thing and sarcasm can fly right over my head. So I tend to sound too blunt when speaking to others and miss a whole variety of social cues. There's a lot of mannerisms - such as asking questions back to someone else - that I have to consciously remember to do, amongst other things, so I don't come across as disinterested or rude to someone else.

Now throw adhd on top of it, with a topic I'm super into, and I have to fight not to hog the conversation. and if a topic I'm not all that interested in pops up, I have to fight not to space out. (and probably more, but which of the two causes what can be a little hard since the two overlap in a lot of areas)

with it all, I basically have to manually move through any given conversation, which means social interaction is very draining; And anxiety-inducing if I'm talking to someone I don't know. It can also make me slow to respond to others.

But I will say, being literal has its perks. not a lot of nasty people can get away with wish-washy language around me and end up having to expose what they really mean.

@OpalTitanium

for me having both ADHD and autism is weird cause i don't really know what is because of the ADHD and what is because of the autism, tho i do admit i haven't done as much research of ADHD. from what i've heard, they're very similar to each other, and are common comorbids of each other.

like @HolrinnLair said, autism effects everyone differently. for me, it mostly manifests in sensory sensitivity. i'm relatively good at understanding sarcasm and metaphor, and though i do have trouble with social cues, i believe i'm at least marginally better at it than my autistic friends tend to be.

anyway, back to the topic of sensory sensitivity. basically: i feel everything. give me a shirt with the tightest woven fabric u've ever seen and i'll be able to find each individual thread. have me taste something u've prepared and i'll tell u exactly how it was cooked and what u put in it. i'm highly sensitive to light, sound and smell as well.

while i'll admit, i do enjoy being able to pinpoint specifics like that, it's overall not very fun. i can't wear anything but natural fibers, i'm sensitive to both dairy and gluten, which sucks because my safe foods always have some sort of noodle or cheese to them. i can't wear- or even be around anyone wearing- perfume or cologne. and i have many annoying comorbids, like BFRBs(which idk if those count as being comorbid bc u can't really be diagnosed with skin-picking or hair pulling), depression, anxiety, dyslexia, dysphraxia, and pica(i used to have anorexia but i don't fit the criteria for diagnosis for that anymore).

it also makes understanding myself rather difficult- like i said earlier, idk if a lot of the things i do are because of my ADHD, autism, or other factors. things like trauma, gender dysphoria, and the wider array of body dismorphia(Spelling??) that i have could all be why i do the things i do, or not. who knows

also on the topic of the server: i'd like to join, but idk where a link to it is? could i get that pls?

sorry if this is super long-winded, i'm not good at judging how long a reply should be when there's no character limit

@ItsKnifeTime

Hope you don't mind me adding onto sensory sensitivity.

With touch I'm pretty good - there's only a few things that get me overwhelmed with touch/textue and that's;
1). Wool
2.) dry chalk
3.) touching paper after I wash my hands
4.) Nuts
5.) and carbonated drinks - if it's got fizz then no thank you

which is about it and maybe like.. stiff fabric for pants? really nothing that's truly disruptive to my day to day life. (except the paper one since I'm an artist in a pandemic where I need to wash my hands more than ever)

Where it's the worst is with sound, too much of anything for too long can cause a sensory overload which leads to a panic attack. Even with one bad ear, I still pick up all the vibrations of every single noise whether I understood what it was or not. Even then I tolerate it better others would - I can hit up a concert for a couple of hours and be fine, it's only if I get stuck there for longer than I can reasonably handle that problems arise.

i feel i should mention that, while i have pica (the desire to eat non-food items) it's not anything intrusive. the image a lot of ppl tend to get in their minds when they hear abt pica is things like eating paint or metal- which are highly dangerous and highly ostracized for that reason. the pica i have is with my skin (dermatophagia), ice (pagophagia) and paper (xylophagia), so please don't be overly concerned about that. i do have to be careful about the skin biting and the damage that ice can cause to my teeth, but overall it's not anything to be concerned about

also yes, skin biting counts as a body-focused repetitive behavior as well as an eating disorder

@ItsKnifeTime don't worry about the length, this is a lengthy topic haha. And I tend to ramble quite a bit so it's all good xD ((A REAL GOOD EXAMPLE RIGHT HERE XD))

Also, (and for @HolrinnLair) it's so interesting that ADHD and autism can be so overlapping because I guess I always thought they were really different. I suppose since some characteristics of autism [depending on the person, and according to my limited knowledge haha] include a preference for rules, regimented schedules, repetition, etc- and that seems to me a bit like the opposite of ADHD [although again not always XD just from what I've gathered]. But now I know much more about it and how autism can be so different, even between only two people! And how autism and ADHD can be so similar!
I honestly would be fascinated to know how else they overlap, although like you said its hard to tell what's what. Honestly, disorders & brain stuff can just be like that, and that's okay! Honestly it's hard enough for me to just separate what I can control (about myself and my mistakes) and what I can't regarding ADHD, and separating who I am from it too. But in the end it's all just a huge mix that you shouldn't try to figure out too much I suppose xD

And about sensory overload, I think it's of course different in intensity for me than for those with autism, however I can still definitely understand to a degree. Sometimes if I get irritated and overwhelmed by being touched (family members being too close and unknowingly brushing up against me/ talking/ touching me too many times) or by too much noise (esp chewing and clinking, no thank you!!) I can get really frustrated and I just leave the room asap. If can't find a quite solitary place to evacuate - which thankfully doesn't happen- I have no idea how much I'd freak out. I don't suspect I'd have a panic attack, especially because it's probably just different for me, but I have had a panic attack before and they suck very bad :( I'm sorry about that

(also thanks ItsKnifeTime for clearing assumptions about pica)

Thanks to you guys for sharing so much, it's honestly a huge part of why I made this thread, and now I'm really happy I did!

ItsKnifeTime you can use this link: discord.gg/HvXKDH
and HolrinnLair it's totally okay to discuss here as well :)

^idk i didnt want to ping you guys twice because i didnt know if youd get two seperate notifications xD so I used italics, I'm a mess

Again you guys are awesome and thank you :)
&Thanks for reading, I write in a confusing way sometimes and I apologize to literally everyone for all my parenthesis and brackets xD

@OpalTitanium

most autists like rules because their world is already so chaotic- they need to find more structure than the average person to avoid getting overwhelmed. i can fall into this too, though not to as extreme a degree as what's considered "average" for autistic folks.

another thing to note about autism is that it can effect how we see gender. since we've a hard time with social constructs and cues, and gender falls into that category, many autistic people feel a sort of disconnect from what's deemed as being "for" their gender- the main thing being haircuts and clothing choices. many women on the spectrum will cut their hair short because they don't like the feeling of it on their face and neck, for example.

autists also can tend to focus on sensory comfort above style or how something looks, and their wardrobe reflects this. i do not do this- i very much enjoy fashion and will forego certain comforts to look good. the sole exception for this, oddly enough, is shoes. my feet feel very enclosed very easily, as i need to be able to do what's arguably my most common stim: curling my toes, and many shoes don't let me do that. even if i have shoes that will let me do that, though, i still prefer to be barefoot. i'll honestly keep wearing my one pair of worn-out converse 'til they rip apart at the seams if i don't get a new pair of the same model shoe before then.

and the gender thing specifically plays into why many autists, myself included, like to use diagnosis-first language instead of person-first language. because autism effects literally everything for me- how i perceive the world, how i interact with the world, how i perceive myself, and how i interact with myself- it's quite literally the core of my world. i wouldn't be me if i didn't have autism. i wouldn't be as passionate, as careful, as introverted, as anything. plus, person-first language is operating on the assumption that autism is some curse that randomly befalls people. sure, it sucks for certain things to be overwhelming for me for no reason. but i like being me. i like my interests and my hobbies and my stims, so i like my autism, because, as said previously, i wouldn't do half the things i do if i didn't have it.

sorry if i seem overly passionate or preachy in the last paragraph, btw. the whole debate highkey annoys the hell out of me

I am one of those on the spectrum who, like @ItsKnifeTime mentioned, need comfort above anything else when it comes to clothes. Tactile sensory issues are my worst, and I need it to feel like I'm not wearing anything at all. I couldn't care less about what I look like.

I am hypersensitive in almost all my senses except for my vestibular sense. I crave vestibular sensations. I am very upset right now because I won't be able to go to Cedar Point (one of my main special interests) this year due to the stupid virus, and I NEED my annual dose of spinning, speed, and air time on my favorite coasters and flat rides. I was Googling last night for vestibular activities to do at home. Most are things I normally do or did a lot as a child. I forgot about hanging upside down on the couch, so I did that last night before bed, and it calmed me.

And yes, there are some good things about being on the spectrum. My passion for things, my detail-oriented outlook on life, my thirst for knowledge, my intense love for amusement park rides, etc. I agree that I wouldn't be me if I weren't on the spectrum (or if I didn't have OCD, which provides me with a strong moral code and hyperresponsibility).