General Discussion

hello fellow LGBT+ folks! here's your resident gay cat lover! i'm a lesbian and i've most likely known it for a long time since i have only ever experienced attraction to girls! i'm a cis female but i tend to use "gay" instead of "lesbian" in a sentence while claiming that i am, in fact, 101% gay. it was sort of not a "terrifying" experience for me - the first time i crushed on someone i thought i just admired a lot, i did go through a lot of internal debates, that if i was truly feeling this way or not, and in the end i first decided i was bisexual since i still got crushes on certain guys now and then. (albeit rarely) i was hesitant in outright telling my friends but it seems like they were pretty perceptive and caught on the signs quickly, so it transitioned from me being known as bi to being full blown lesbian disaster. (confessed about 4-5 times and got rejected every time heh) they accepted me well, though! i'm very happy to have friends that see me just me as more than just my sexuality! thank you all for being so open minded<3 i never told my parents until like perhaps 1.5 years later (forgot exactly) but i pretty much have already crushed on everyone i listed before and i admitted to my parents at dinner one night. granted i sort of cried from anxiety and everything but they didn't react badly, they just said something like "you're still young and you won't know that yet" and just last year i got tired of them doubting my claims, and i put my foot down saying that i am sure of my orientation, and i was tired of internal worries that they were actually not accepting of me. turns out, i was wrong! they didn't mind it one bit and said that it won't change how they treat me, and that made me feel really grateful that everyone that knows of this is supportive and willing to keep it quiet <3 i know some people have a much, much harder time going through this, so please hang on! you're valid and you'll find someone who loves you just as you are, be it romantically or platonically. i'm sending virtual hugs to you all [emoji=heart size=1][emoji=rainbow size=1] @Whesh oh that's SUCH a mood. it happened to me as well before i came out, haha. how did your parents react?

@Whesh
omg i feel you, i feel the exact same way about real children. im only aiming for a life with a girlfriend and cute animals :3

I'm bisexual and nonbinary, though it took me a while to find that out for myself. This is gonna be a long story so sorry for rambling
Figuring out I was bisexual was easy for me, I always knew that I had crushes on both guys and girls before I even heard that that was a "wrong" thing to have (It's not wrong for the record, people can just be cruel).
Figuring out my gender was a much harder process for me. I come from a small town where talks about gender just don't exist, and the majority of people have some very, ahem, narrow minded, views about trans people. The concept of trans was only really introduced to me through tv at the time, and always as the butt of a joke. I grew up having no point of reference about why I didn't feel like the other girls in my class did, and it just added to the list of reasons as to why I felt like I didn't fit in as a kid.
I had a kinda of light bulb above the head moment in highschool, where I realized that this far off concept of being trans can apply to me, and that I could be trans. So I started rethinking a lot of my past and how I viewed myself, but this time trying to see through the lens of a guy. And it was definitely new and exciting, and it made certain parts of my past make more sense,,, but it still didnt fit, and it still felt wrong.
I didnt truly figure out who I was till I got to college, someone I went to class with commented that I seemed very androgynous, and hearing that felt like a wave of euphoria wash over me,, it just felt right to hear in a way nothing else did. I knew then the nonbinary was the right way to look at myself, it just was a term that fit me like nothing else. And it may have taken me a while but I'm glad I got myself all figured out now in that regard

i replied to this before but then i wasn't sure of who i was.. now i can confirm that i am a genderfluid pansexual! and proud aff [img]https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/2079/1035/products/genderfluid_pansexual_combo_by_pride_flags-dallgwp_20_1_1200x1200.png[/img]

@euphorixxs
That's awesome! :D

finally found out who i truly am. im a bigender pansexual, and i planned on trying to find a time to come out to my parents but never found a good time, so i decided to wait a bit. my parents are catholic, but they became catholic when they were children by force of their parents (my biological grandparents), so they're not THAT religious anymore. my grandparents on the other hand are catholic and have been throughout most of their lives, so im scared if my mom tells them if i do ever decide to come out. im really sure my grandparents do not appreciate lgbt+ which makes me nervous to the fact that they won't accept me. ive been starting to develop a gender preference of male on my pansexuality, but i have felt sexual attraction to females before. ive met one person from my school who is transgender; we often talk. not really attracted to them but i feel comfortable around her. i dunno if my grandparents will accept me, but if they don't ill tell them my gender preference. they sound like they'll be fine with my sexuality as long as i marry a male and have children with him.

though on the children part of getting married, im childfree, or at least for now. im still in my teens and i don't want a child, so it makes sense. i personally do not like young children and i don't have any interest in raising children. if i told my family that now they would be fine because they'd understand i don't want a child while im in school, but if i was an adult and told them that they would be ENRAGED. my mother's family is, well, let me just say a "lover of children" and they are always wanting them. then when you're older, graduated college, have a partner, etc, all that your parents care about is "where are my grandchildren?", something im not really okay with. my mom's family wants the bloodline to continue, but they don't care about the gender of the child unlike other families. usually the first child's the heir, right? im female, and the first child of my parents, so basically im expected to act professional and mature EVERYWHERE I GO because im their "representation of good parenting" and the "heir of my family". would i be considered heir of the entire family? probably not. i have older cousins, one from my mom's older brother and two from one of my dad's younger sisters. am i the number one heir of any families im related to? no, probably not. my dad's the first child so is his first child, me, considered the heir of my father's family? i guess. my family wants a child from me. both sides, but mostly my mother's side. that is when im an adult, but im not sure if ill be childfree after marriage.

long story short: my family wants a child from me when im an adult so if i end up going with a girl (i am biologically female) and not having a child, going with a male and being childfree, or anything like that, they're going to hate me for life until i give my parents a grandchild when im older. my sexuality interferes with that since i feel attracted to all genders and don't feel completely female. they're definitely gonna think im an a-hole if they don't get any kids from me.

will adoption work? probably not because they want a biological kid of mine so therefore they're related. dang is adult life gonna be hard for me. i just want to live my life freely as a bigender pansexual and most likely not have kids..

ive been hinting to my parents that im not straight, but they don't seem to care much so im still trying to arrange a time to tell my mom that im bigender and pansexual. i just hope she accepts lgbt+ and won't be the catholic she was raised to be and not accept me for my sexuality

@Boston

thank you :'))

@FrostyIceWing

You probably know that, but Im writing this to give you some support in your decisions. Dont feel pressured if youre worrying your life may be more stressful if you come out. My parents are pretty chill, but i sometimes hear them commenting on LGBT and I know for a fact they dont accept it, so Im waiting. I have no idea if they would change if I told them, that may be the case, but the stakes are too big. I prefer to hide this from them from being stressed when at home :( It is not compulsory to come out. Everything at your own pace.


And as of having children.. this is COMPLETELY your choice. Please, please dont bend to their will.
It might be hard, but if they really wont take explanations that its your life and how you wanna live it, I think it would be better to break contact with them when you live on your own.
Children will be there for the rest of your life. Solid 20 years (about 20 years) of accomodating them, including them in your plans and most importantly... raising them up. Its not an easy task, you have to want it.
From my own experiences, I dont want children either (Im 19 as of now) and beside the "selfish" part (stupid wording, really, its MY life, the only one i have, how is deciding about it selfish??) I think it would also be unfair to the child.
I would probably have to force myself to be a good parent to them, and whether they would figure it out or not, its just not fair to them. I dont want to mess them up because I do something wrong. What if they wont feel loved in my home?
The fact that i dont want children doesnt undermine that I want all children to have the best lives they can, and I wouldnt be able to give it to them, as it's not something I want. All children deserve a loving family/ parent. It is not only unfair to you to get forced to such a serious, long term, life affecting decision, but also for them, too.

So please, put yourself first. Your mental and physical health is more important that what others think, always. And if you need it, I'm sure lot of people will offer their support if you will need to talk!

Does anyone have advice for dealing with really religious / strict parents ?
It's hard being home with homophobic parents all day and I feel like i'm gonna snap at one point. I haven't come out to them yet (idk what would happen if I did) and am kinda scared