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Also, if you couldn't tell, I'm speaking off the cuff more now that I'll be dead and won't need to take notes. I'll just be babysitting the thread and responding to pings or stuff I wanna see.

@kaymontacell

This sounds pretty mysterious, but I don't really want to do a role reveal.. Unless you role block me, you'll know what my role is tonight. Just thought I'd let you know.

The players who haven't been poisoned at this point seem more sus than others. This isn't good for my reputation in this game, considering I haven't been poisoned. I thought I'd point this out, for those who haven't noticed (Although most of you probably have)

Nevermind, you'll find out now I think?

@Kaymontacell
(I will touch up on the others but the ending where you addressed the behavior is where I'm starting)
Indeed the situation could have been much better handled. Which I feel bad for letting my own frustration causing me to lash out in such a way. It was very inappropriate and I feel guilty for that.

And what you say is true, I ended up just pushing all my anger & frustration on Kamme at that time even though others started it. If I could do it over again, I wouldn't have snapped in such a way.
I may as well should have said I was offended and to back off, but I was unable to accurately speak my frustrations and my emotional states at that time that it wasn't even a thought of option. I often just think people will read the subtle lines, which I see clearly because i placed them.

@Kaymontacell
Is it just me, or is Raya not in your list?

@Kaymontacell
Regarding the Nuetral, I have been nuetral ever since elementary school and haven't changed a dime. The only way I can truly read people is if I see their face and spend a fair amount of time around them. Dialouge can be a bit tricky and therefore I resort to my natural instict and that is to think of them neither this or that.

On the trust quote:
personally, all the people I trusted died this game, Gwen, Nerasis, storm, cognitive. All the players I've played with before because of the fact I have broken down because of these games, and they were there to support me and make sure I was fine in the long run. Might be a masochist, I dunno

Though the only new trusts I have acquired is Tanglefire, and You. For the main reasons you seem sensible, and tangle is rather a kindred spirit which I like best about them.

The root of my frustration: I thought I addressed that they took it way out of context, or maybe I did in my head. My mind goes to fast for me to type out things at times.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have thought about it, and I should have been able to see the other side but I've been around people who know how to read me so, I unconsciously assumed one could accurately read my growing agitation to back off. Apparently, it wasn't what I saw it was.

Also for side note: Thanks, though I am actually going to a therapist to help me out a bit. So I should be able to deal with things better later on after some of my internal wounds heal up.

(when your low-key so frazzled at reading so many words. I might have to go and put another post to adress the other things)

@JaguarCutie224

I'm pinging myself, cause to view this I go to my notifs and click the link from my latest ping, but that was on the last page. Just annoying to have to switch pages every time. Ignore me :)

@Kaymontacell
If I trusted you, and you said you never lied then I would believe you because I trust you. Which may be a fault in its own buts its true I would.

"One hit-kill" Its quite true even if you see it as a self-depreciation of abilities, very rarely if at will I hit someone else who is scum. it doesn't matter how I try to see it or the others. Hence why I put myself in that box.

The "Possible change in behavior", that is not the case because I do not change very often or very much. Physically I might but mentally no. I have been static mentally for reasons of my recurring depression bouts which limit me to a dark hole mindset and nothing changes. So I stay the same quite consistently. I can upgrade certain traits I have but other than that. No change at all really.

I rely on meta heavily because its how I can usually tell a distinct difference in people, if I know you by a certain meta I expect you to have that certain meta. If you don't I get a little confused and sometimes if in a setting such as this, I get suspicious.

To me personally, if I lie on the internet as I do so commonly in reality, its much more crushing because I'm more real on here than I am in the real world because no one can see my face. Its easier to be me on here. Hence why its harder for me to lie on here, because my pc or online meta is what is me and therefore harder to separate and lie with.

I think thats all the points addressed, please ping me if its not. That was a lot of text to read so I may have missed something

@JaguarCutie224

Yes, now I understand. My lips are sealed, however.

@TheNightDancer

*laughs* No, not just you. I must have made an error in my copying and pasting. I'll get to Ghost after I post it. Thanks a lot.