COMMISSION STATUS: Open - 6/10 slots taken so far!
Recently completed: A whole batch went up on 1/5/2014, they're on pages 13 and 14.
MAN-TRODUCTION
I'm doing dragon reviews/lair reviews/short bios, just with an optional, ULTRA-MANLY twist! Here's the spiel:
This is MANLY MCBRO, a TRUE MANLY MANGENTA MAN. When he flies, there is not THUNDER, BUT PURE MAN-BEATS from his BROSOME WINGS. He LIFTS IMPERIALS, and the chin-up bars JUST AREN'T STRONG ENOUGH TO HOLD HIM. He has WRESTLED EVERY LAST BEAR IN HIS CLAN, AND HE HAS DONE THIS TWICE - first, he had to wrestle them from their owners' grips, and then he had to, y'know, really wrestle 'em. HIS MIGHTY, MACHO, MAN-DREAM IS TO WRESTLE ALL THE BEARS SOMEDAY.
To do this, he will have to visit other people's lairs in order to WRESTLE THEIR BEARS, and MANLY MCBRO knows that travel is not cheap. However, he also knows that there are MANY OTHER BROS AND (WO)MEN out there, and knows that THEY WILL MANPRECIATE THE WORDS OF ONE AS MANLY AS MANLY MCBRO.
ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH FOR A BROTASTIC REVIEW?!?
PRICES (CAN YOU MAN-HANDLE 'EM?)
- 35kt per dragon for the MAIN ATTRACTION: ONE ULTRA-MANLY REVIEW, WRITTEN AND SIGNED BY NONE OTHER THAN MANLY MCBRO HIMSELF. Naturally, the dragon reviewed doesn't need to be male or mangenta. MANCREDIBLE reviews are around 200-300 words. You can just ask for a regular review, and it'll cost you the same.
- 50k for a bio - BUT NOT JUST ANY BIO, A MANLY MAN-BIO AS WRITTEN BY MANLY MCBRO. A bio can be used as a spiel for a lair or for a bio on a dragon; your call. It's just like your regular ol' bio, with details about the dragon's life, adventures, and personality... but with TONS OF EXTRA BROSOME FACTOR. As with the above, you can just ask for a regular bio, and it'll cost you the same.
- 140kt for a a BROTASTIC five-dragon-lair review - you get A WHOLE MAN-REVIEW FOR FREE. You can give me the dragons, or I will pick from your lair myself!
MAN-XAMPLES
ULTRA-MANLY MAN-REVIEW:
MAN-BIO:
Don't let the carefree attitude or the flower garlands fool you; Idris is a TRUE BRO IF THERE EVER WAS ONE. Many other dragons in his clan aspire to be as MANLY AS THIS ACTUAL BATMAN, with his ROCK–HARD HIDE and MANLY MANGENTA WINGS THAT ARE BRO ENOUGH TO SPARKLE WITH NOTHING BUT MANLINESS. Indeed, the flowers Idris wears are FRESHLY PICKED EVERY DAY BY HIS MANY LADY ADMIRERS – and that he only has two garlands is HIGHLY INDICATIVE OF JUST HOW MANY FEMALES ARE SWOONING BEFORE THEY CAN FINISH.
Indeed, Idris is a very lucky dragon – he owes much of his GREAT MANDOM to THE TOUGHEST LADY EVAR, THE MISTRESS LADY LUCK, FALLING FOR HIM. On his second attempt dabbling with THE MANLIEST MAGIC OUT, this TRUE BRO TOOK OUT THE LOTTERY, and nabbed the BROTASTIC combination of PASSIONATE FIRE, MANLY MANGENTA, and LOYAL LEAF. So pleased were the elders of Idris's clan that they sent for scrolls, changing Idris into a MIGHTY MAN–NOODLE. However, this WASN'T EVEN HIS FINAL FORM – that was to come much later, when Idris was finally put into BATMAN mode, where he remains to this day, putting all lesser mans to shame.
Though this Nocturne is very carefree, preferring the company of his ladies to the company of familiars, he IS ABSOLUTELY A MAN OF HIS WORD, and WILL NOT HESITATE TO DEFEND HIS MAN–CAVE. Being at a TRUE TWENTY–FIVE means that Idris has dispatched more COWARDLY CREATURES than most; to the point where the areas around his clan live in terror of the name, and many of the local wildlife SURRENDER AT THE MERE MENTION OF THIS MIGHTY MAN. And, perhaps this is quite rightfully so – THE LIFTING INCIDENT alone, in which this MACHO, MANGENTA MAN was CHALLENGED by the Beastclans to PROVE HIMSELF by LIFTING A WHOLE FOREST'S WORTH OF WILDLIFE, is something that has made most familiars too terrified to go anywhere near the guy.
Not that I, MANLY MCBRO, was able to divine exactly what happened during the battle due to the constant fainting of the clan's librarian – but let it never, ever be said that Idris will back down from a challenge.
REGULAR BIO:
Ultramarine is, depending on how much you believe of his rambling, either a veteran of many battles, several wars, and an apocalypse (only a small one, mind you), or a drunk-as-a-skunk-Mirror who has been in maybe one scrape and just likes to boast a lot. He is, however, a pretty good hunter; abusing his weight and speed to outstrip most of the other dragons of the Clan of the Spoodle and take down prey that... well, that most of the clan's probably not going to eat anyway, but hey, it's something. Ultramarine isn't quite so party-happy as some of the other members of the Clan, but he certainly gets tipsy on occasion.
Boastful, full of himself, and determined to give the world a damned good walloping, this Mirror is very much liable to get into hunt-related troubles when he bites off more than he can chew. Therefore, Ultramarine is most often seen sprinting across the plains as Mirrors tend to do, albeit half-drunk and pursued by his own quarry, with his two Spiral companions, Taki and Ithaqua, curled about his neck and hanging on for dear life! Recently, however, he was taken pity on by the gods of the scrapheap; he has been blessed with steampunk wings which mean that he can now flee across the sky instead of merely on the ground (Mirrors are not the most endurant fliers out).
He swears that he'll have the head of his Sprangyroo mounted on the wall of his lair whenever he and his clan eventually settle down, and refuses to acknowledge claims from the others that he feeds it every day and even sleeps with it on cold nights, using it as a fluffy, warm, slightly irritable pillow. After all - how could such a fierce and bold fighter of such great heritage possibly like something cute?
You can see more of 'em here, and of course all completed commissions are posted to this thread as well, if you don't mind flicking through a few pages to find them.
BRIBES/TIPS
1. Bears. Since MANLY MCBRO demands to WRESTLE ALL THE BEARS, I must collect them on his behalf! That means that I'll do reviews for the equivalent number of bears, and am also very happy with being tipped in bears - be that a festival bear or just something that looks like a bear, such as a Hoarfrost Mauler. I don't mind getting copies of the bears I already have, so you're welcome to pay with as many bears as you like.
2. Festival Stuff. I can be bribed to write pretty much anything you want with festival stuff. You want a story chapter ghostwritten? You want an elaborate ode singing the praises of your clan? You want your mentire lair to be given terribly manly spiels? Offer me festival stuff - particularly apparel items, though I have a strong hoarding instinct for sprites - and I might just swoon at your feet. (And then GET BACK TO WORK on your menormous order , I promise.)
3. Art. Art is the coolest stuff to get! By all means, talk to me if you wanna run an art trade or just flat-out bribe me with your pretty pictures; I may be interested.
THE LIST OF SUPER-SATISFIED CUSTOMANS
Rivix, Kizmetto, IceFelis, GingerNinja, Hiss, theplastics, tigercule, pooses, Andorum, tunapuns, Cacogen, Nirak, Scream, Skiatha, Machiavellian, meowsee, Necr0w, Perahn, Neology, Mime, Actaeon, GemairaNoir, jarethbowie, Wynand, Kardi, kamooi, TinyBats, Darkdragonfiend
IN BROGESS
Current status: 5/10 slots taken!
2. Necr0w - MAN-BIOS for THEIR CREW
3. wildwisper - MAN-REVIEW for Ayne
4. Noobat - MAN-BIO for Biohazard
5. FuchsiaRuler - MAN-REVIEW for Maria
6. MAN-REVIEW for Machismo
You're more than welcome to use the bios on your dragons or lair, so long as you credit me with either a mention of my username (Spooner), or a link to this thread. ;)
Recently completed: A whole batch went up on 1/5/2014, they're on pages 13 and 14.
MAN-TRODUCTION
I'm doing dragon reviews/lair reviews/short bios, just with an optional, ULTRA-MANLY twist! Here's the spiel:
This is MANLY MCBRO, a TRUE MANLY MANGENTA MAN. When he flies, there is not THUNDER, BUT PURE MAN-BEATS from his BROSOME WINGS. He LIFTS IMPERIALS, and the chin-up bars JUST AREN'T STRONG ENOUGH TO HOLD HIM. He has WRESTLED EVERY LAST BEAR IN HIS CLAN, AND HE HAS DONE THIS TWICE - first, he had to wrestle them from their owners' grips, and then he had to, y'know, really wrestle 'em. HIS MIGHTY, MACHO, MAN-DREAM IS TO WRESTLE ALL THE BEARS SOMEDAY.
To do this, he will have to visit other people's lairs in order to WRESTLE THEIR BEARS, and MANLY MCBRO knows that travel is not cheap. However, he also knows that there are MANY OTHER BROS AND (WO)MEN out there, and knows that THEY WILL MANPRECIATE THE WORDS OF ONE AS MANLY AS MANLY MCBRO.
ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH FOR A BROTASTIC REVIEW?!?
PRICES (CAN YOU MAN-HANDLE 'EM?)
- 35kt per dragon for the MAIN ATTRACTION: ONE ULTRA-MANLY REVIEW, WRITTEN AND SIGNED BY NONE OTHER THAN MANLY MCBRO HIMSELF. Naturally, the dragon reviewed doesn't need to be male or mangenta. MANCREDIBLE reviews are around 200-300 words. You can just ask for a regular review, and it'll cost you the same.
- 50k for a bio - BUT NOT JUST ANY BIO, A MANLY MAN-BIO AS WRITTEN BY MANLY MCBRO. A bio can be used as a spiel for a lair or for a bio on a dragon; your call. It's just like your regular ol' bio, with details about the dragon's life, adventures, and personality... but with TONS OF EXTRA BROSOME FACTOR. As with the above, you can just ask for a regular bio, and it'll cost you the same.
- 140kt for a a BROTASTIC five-dragon-lair review - you get A WHOLE MAN-REVIEW FOR FREE. You can give me the dragons, or I will pick from your lair myself!
MAN-XAMPLES
ULTRA-MANLY MAN-REVIEW:
Quote:
What's that grey blur in the sky? Is it a bird? A plane? How about a dragon preview for an accent? Did FR stuff up again?
All these thoughts and more go through the mind of whichever hapless MANturne Song has marked, before the Pearlcatcher DIVES STRAIGHT FOR THE GROUND, pulling up AT THE LAST BROSSIBLE second with the MOST BRUTAL OF BROPPONENTS in her TALONS. Far from being drab and grey, this BROGON makes a regular habit of FOOLING ALL HER MENEMIES INTO THINKING THAT SHE'S A GLITCH, AND THEN BEATING THE BROJEEBUS OUT OF THEM. It's not technically deception, she tells yours truly (MANLY MCBRO himself!) - it's those in the BROLISEUM making INCORRECT ASSUMPTIONS AB(R)OUT THIS WHOA-MAN. Really, her MANCCENT should have tipped them off that this BROCATCHER was NO BRORDINARY MAN; Song is LITERALLY LIFTING SOLID STONE WING RIVETS with EVERY BEAT of the HEAVY METAL SONGS SHE'S ALWAYS BROCKING OUT TO. So many rocks might seem a little (BR)OVER THE TOP, but Song says it best herself - YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH ROCK 'N' ROLL.
Here in BRONIETH, all-basics seem to be looked down upon for some reason - or at least, their MAN-CHILDREN sell for less. But imply that Song's worth less as a WHOA-MAN because she's an all-basic, and YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET IT, DUDE. Song's accent alone is worth EVEN MOAR THAN MOST MANS' MANPPAREL, since it's MADE OF SOLID GOLD; and when this BEASTLY BROGON isn't LIFTING IT, she's BROLISHING IT so that it'll LOOK ITS ABSOLUTE MANLIEST when she's SMASHING THOSE HEAVY-METAL FISTS INTO YOUR FACE.
OUCH.
- Manly McBro
All these thoughts and more go through the mind of whichever hapless MANturne Song has marked, before the Pearlcatcher DIVES STRAIGHT FOR THE GROUND, pulling up AT THE LAST BROSSIBLE second with the MOST BRUTAL OF BROPPONENTS in her TALONS. Far from being drab and grey, this BROGON makes a regular habit of FOOLING ALL HER MENEMIES INTO THINKING THAT SHE'S A GLITCH, AND THEN BEATING THE BROJEEBUS OUT OF THEM. It's not technically deception, she tells yours truly (MANLY MCBRO himself!) - it's those in the BROLISEUM making INCORRECT ASSUMPTIONS AB(R)OUT THIS WHOA-MAN. Really, her MANCCENT should have tipped them off that this BROCATCHER was NO BRORDINARY MAN; Song is LITERALLY LIFTING SOLID STONE WING RIVETS with EVERY BEAT of the HEAVY METAL SONGS SHE'S ALWAYS BROCKING OUT TO. So many rocks might seem a little (BR)OVER THE TOP, but Song says it best herself - YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH ROCK 'N' ROLL.
Here in BRONIETH, all-basics seem to be looked down upon for some reason - or at least, their MAN-CHILDREN sell for less. But imply that Song's worth less as a WHOA-MAN because she's an all-basic, and YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET IT, DUDE. Song's accent alone is worth EVEN MOAR THAN MOST MANS' MANPPAREL, since it's MADE OF SOLID GOLD; and when this BEASTLY BROGON isn't LIFTING IT, she's BROLISHING IT so that it'll LOOK ITS ABSOLUTE MANLIEST when she's SMASHING THOSE HEAVY-METAL FISTS INTO YOUR FACE.
OUCH.
- Manly McBro
MAN-BIO:
Quote:
IDRIS
.
(puts the sun to shame)
.
(puts the sun to shame)
Don't let the carefree attitude or the flower garlands fool you; Idris is a TRUE BRO IF THERE EVER WAS ONE. Many other dragons in his clan aspire to be as MANLY AS THIS ACTUAL BATMAN, with his ROCK–HARD HIDE and MANLY MANGENTA WINGS THAT ARE BRO ENOUGH TO SPARKLE WITH NOTHING BUT MANLINESS. Indeed, the flowers Idris wears are FRESHLY PICKED EVERY DAY BY HIS MANY LADY ADMIRERS – and that he only has two garlands is HIGHLY INDICATIVE OF JUST HOW MANY FEMALES ARE SWOONING BEFORE THEY CAN FINISH.
Indeed, Idris is a very lucky dragon – he owes much of his GREAT MANDOM to THE TOUGHEST LADY EVAR, THE MISTRESS LADY LUCK, FALLING FOR HIM. On his second attempt dabbling with THE MANLIEST MAGIC OUT, this TRUE BRO TOOK OUT THE LOTTERY, and nabbed the BROTASTIC combination of PASSIONATE FIRE, MANLY MANGENTA, and LOYAL LEAF. So pleased were the elders of Idris's clan that they sent for scrolls, changing Idris into a MIGHTY MAN–NOODLE. However, this WASN'T EVEN HIS FINAL FORM – that was to come much later, when Idris was finally put into BATMAN mode, where he remains to this day, putting all lesser mans to shame.
Though this Nocturne is very carefree, preferring the company of his ladies to the company of familiars, he IS ABSOLUTELY A MAN OF HIS WORD, and WILL NOT HESITATE TO DEFEND HIS MAN–CAVE. Being at a TRUE TWENTY–FIVE means that Idris has dispatched more COWARDLY CREATURES than most; to the point where the areas around his clan live in terror of the name, and many of the local wildlife SURRENDER AT THE MERE MENTION OF THIS MIGHTY MAN. And, perhaps this is quite rightfully so – THE LIFTING INCIDENT alone, in which this MACHO, MANGENTA MAN was CHALLENGED by the Beastclans to PROVE HIMSELF by LIFTING A WHOLE FOREST'S WORTH OF WILDLIFE, is something that has made most familiars too terrified to go anywhere near the guy.
Not that I, MANLY MCBRO, was able to divine exactly what happened during the battle due to the constant fainting of the clan's librarian – but let it never, ever be said that Idris will back down from a challenge.
REGULAR BIO:
Quote:
ULTRAMARINE
.
(a brilliant shade of blue... not so brilliant at the maths problems)
.
(a brilliant shade of blue... not so brilliant at the maths problems)
Ultramarine is, depending on how much you believe of his rambling, either a veteran of many battles, several wars, and an apocalypse (only a small one, mind you), or a drunk-as-a-skunk-Mirror who has been in maybe one scrape and just likes to boast a lot. He is, however, a pretty good hunter; abusing his weight and speed to outstrip most of the other dragons of the Clan of the Spoodle and take down prey that... well, that most of the clan's probably not going to eat anyway, but hey, it's something. Ultramarine isn't quite so party-happy as some of the other members of the Clan, but he certainly gets tipsy on occasion.
Boastful, full of himself, and determined to give the world a damned good walloping, this Mirror is very much liable to get into hunt-related troubles when he bites off more than he can chew. Therefore, Ultramarine is most often seen sprinting across the plains as Mirrors tend to do, albeit half-drunk and pursued by his own quarry, with his two Spiral companions, Taki and Ithaqua, curled about his neck and hanging on for dear life! Recently, however, he was taken pity on by the gods of the scrapheap; he has been blessed with steampunk wings which mean that he can now flee across the sky instead of merely on the ground (Mirrors are not the most endurant fliers out).
He swears that he'll have the head of his Sprangyroo mounted on the wall of his lair whenever he and his clan eventually settle down, and refuses to acknowledge claims from the others that he feeds it every day and even sleeps with it on cold nights, using it as a fluffy, warm, slightly irritable pillow. After all - how could such a fierce and bold fighter of such great heritage possibly like something cute?
You can see more of 'em here, and of course all completed commissions are posted to this thread as well, if you don't mind flicking through a few pages to find them.
BRIBES/TIPS
1. Bears. Since MANLY MCBRO demands to WRESTLE ALL THE BEARS, I must collect them on his behalf! That means that I'll do reviews for the equivalent number of bears, and am also very happy with being tipped in bears - be that a festival bear or just something that looks like a bear, such as a Hoarfrost Mauler. I don't mind getting copies of the bears I already have, so you're welcome to pay with as many bears as you like.
2. Festival Stuff. I can be bribed to write pretty much anything you want with festival stuff. You want a story chapter ghostwritten? You want an elaborate ode singing the praises of your clan? You want your mentire lair to be given terribly manly spiels? Offer me festival stuff - particularly apparel items, though I have a strong hoarding instinct for sprites - and I might just swoon at your feet. (And then GET BACK TO WORK on your menormous order , I promise.)
3. Art. Art is the coolest stuff to get! By all means, talk to me if you wanna run an art trade or just flat-out bribe me with your pretty pictures; I may be interested.
THE LIST OF SUPER-SATISFIED CUSTOMANS
Rivix, Kizmetto, IceFelis, GingerNinja, Hiss, theplastics, tigercule, pooses, Andorum, tunapuns, Cacogen, Nirak, Scream, Skiatha, Machiavellian, meowsee, Necr0w, Perahn, Neology, Mime, Actaeon, GemairaNoir, jarethbowie, Wynand, Kardi, kamooi, TinyBats, Darkdragonfiend
IN BROGESS
Current status: 5/10 slots taken!
2. Necr0w - MAN-BIOS for THEIR CREW
3. wildwisper - MAN-REVIEW for Ayne
4. Noobat - MAN-BIO for Biohazard
5. FuchsiaRuler - MAN-REVIEW for Maria
6. MAN-REVIEW for Machismo
You're more than welcome to use the bios on your dragons or lair, so long as you credit me with either a mention of my username (Spooner), or a link to this thread. ;)
