General Discussion

@spacecrows

Lol yeah.....

There are already so many fantastic replies here but I might as well add a short one of mine

I'm asexual, heteroromantic, cisfemale
now here's the thing, I've never really liked romantic subplots in movies, they always felt forced to me, and I also never really liked shipping either because there's this huge "WELL EVERYBODY HAS TO BE WITH SOMEBODY" and I really hated that. In high school I never cared for getting into romantic relationships because I had the best and coolest friends in the world and one of them was another ace like me

What's interesting I knew what asexuality was, and I was fairly certain I was ace, but at times I felt unsure because I have had crushes before (rarely but they were there). When I got to college I learned that romantic alignments are separate from sexual, which is why I've had crushes before.

Gender wise, I've always identified as female, and never had any problem with it. Lately I've been noticing that I feel most comfortable dressing androgynously (aka not really adhering to any gender stereotypes) although I do love wearing a good dress every now and then


I guess if your questioning, it's a journey only you can take, but it starts with you asking A) what/who do I like? B) Why do I like them (my crushes have always been purely personality based) and C) what can I do/what do I do that feels the most like me?
A and B are pretty cut and clear, figure out if you've ever kinda liked someone and identify why you liked them
C is more about if you're questioning your gender identity or just comfort levels, I feel like a female, but I also feel most like me when I can dress androgynously or when I wear light and beautiful dresses, and this can actually be confusing for some people XD (because if I don't dress girly, then I'm either a tomboy or a butch right? except I'm neither of those)
my advice: ask yourself questions, go online and research and listen to other's people's stories (like you're doing now! :D)

Last thing I think is important to consider, it's been established that people don't change sexualities during their lifetime BUT what is very common is for you to think you're one thing, and then realize later that you're not, or that you're something else
It's okay for this to happen, it's okay to not know, and it's okay to discover yourself at your own pace

I'm trans, and as soon as puberty hit I knew something was wrong, but I had no idea what it was or why. I'd always felt a disconnect from my body and hated how I looked in mirrors. There were some times I'd wished that I was 'raised as a boy' (my parents often talked about how they wanted a boy and a girl twin, but ended up with two girls.) It wasn't until eighth grade (freshman year of highschool for me) that I'd learned the term 'transgender' and what it meant, and it all clicked. I came out on June 7, 2015 to my family, classmates, and teachers and I celebrated the fourth anniversary of it just last week. [emoji=familiar heart size=1]

@keet

Sorry this too so long to respond! Ahh no WiFi lol

Well when puberty hit for me that’s also when I started to question what a “crush” really is because I had thought people of both “main” (birth) gender were getting really cute. Then I started leaning more towards females and I was like woah ummm what is this? So I guess puberty takes us all for a ride lol but I’m actually having to go through your questions more than once because dang, it’s kinda hard to answer if you’ve never really been in a relationship lol

@shiraki

So sorry this is late! No WiFi ahhhhh

I really should be looking into these questions I guess, it seems like they help people understand themselves more! I’m really happy you finally found yourself after that kind of a journey, I know what it’s lime to be pressured into being someone else as well. My family has tried to convince me I’m 100% straight but much like you, I’m starting to realize that might not be true...

@bittersuite

So sorry this is late! No WiFi ahhh

Oh that’s so sweet! I love that you’ve found yourself! I wish my family would be just as supportive as yours lol I hope your twin is happy too! I have a friend who is also a transgender twin and his sister hates him for it, it’s really sad.

I never knew that LGBT was a thing until around a couple years ago. It was at that point when I learned about the term sexuality and all of the various ones, including new gender pronouns that I never heard of, like agender, cisgender, bigender, etc. From that day forth, I personally identified myself as female cisgender and Autochorrisexual Aromantic (as you can probably tell from my signature).

@Babs3
don't worry about the wifi!

And yeah XD It's a journey! The questions are hard and the answers may change over time, and that's okay ^-^ I'm 22 and I'm still discovering myself and learning more about myself, so don't expect to be an expert immediately :P

@draconicmusic

Oh wow! That’s a long wait! Your signature is very nice!

@keet

Oh wow really? It’s co to know others are still learning about themselves as well!

@Babs3
yeah, people will tell you/you will feel like you need to know everything about yourself by the time you're like 17, but that's not true, self-discovery is a lifelong process, and mostly because we're always changing

just remember life isn't a race and you go at your own pace ^-^ don't feel pressured to know answers to the hard questions now

That doubt that you're referring to in your post is something I believe most people refer to as Bi-Curiosity, which a lot of LGBT people go through when trying to discover themselves. To be honest, I think a lot of people within this community didn't specifically know what they were until later on in their life. It was sort of like a nagging feeling that you differed from everyone else around you.

I personally found out my gender and sexuality from questioning what made me happy. I am now a gay transmale, and Ive never been happier, but I found all this out through a bit of experimentation. Like I said before, I always had this nagging feeling that something was off, and it made me feel different from all of the other people around me. For a while, I thought this was because I was a lesbian, but after a while of experimenting, I found that me being in a relationship with a woman as a woman was only making me more miserable. I then experimented with different pronouns online, cutting my hair, different fashion, etc, and I found out that I was actually transgender.

Honestly, just experimenting and finding out what makes you happy is the best way to find where you are on the LGBT spectrum, if you even are at all.

Bisexual here! I found out when I got my first crush on a girl. She didn't like me back, but it was a valuable experience. I'd always thought I was straight before that. Had a few romantic dreams about her and when i woke up I was like, "...welp. Guess I'm not completely straight after all."