General Discussion

@Babs3 Sorry for the multiple pings, oops, but I just had another thought: [quote]Often Times it’s a joke because I actually am the only “straight” friend of the group[/quote] I obviously don't want to be like 'X, Y, OR Z RANDOM THING IS DEFINITELY INDICATIVE OF NOT BEING STRAIGHT,' but it's pretty common for LGBT+ people to gravitate together (often without even realizing) because we find each other more relatable, and I've never had a single Token Straight (TM) in any of my friend groups that actually turned out to be cishet in the end. (That's a small sample size of anecdata rather than real data, ofc, but I figured it was worth mentioning as food for thought.)

@sorcererumbra

Thank you for saying I’d be able to talk to you! I love knowing that there are people out there like me, I’m not alone. It makes me feel great inside XD

@liesmith

Okay I love being responded to so multiple pings just made my day! Also yeah... I’m pretty sure that there is never really a cishet in a friend group like mine lol we literally had me and that didn’t turn out so well lol

@Babs3 oh, thank you!! I've been questioning my gender/sexuality since... 6th grade-ish? I really began to Realize when I was 13, and I've thought about it on and off since then. I'm 17 now, so that's a solid 4 years (6 if you count my burgeoning Gay Dreams in 6th grade) - and I only realized that some labels didn't fit a week ago. To echo what a lot of other people have said: it's a long process figuring out your identity, what labels you want to use (if any), etc. I'm open to talk if you ever need it! c:

I dunno if you're still looking for stories of people figuring themselves out but I'd figure I'd share mine

So, I've always been rather disinterested in romance in fiction and had no real desire to date throughout my school life. I had however had some mild crushes on guys and girls before and whenever I imagine myself being in a relationship I have no specific gender in mind.
Biromantic asexual seems to make the most sense to me.

Gender-wise... is a weird one
I always felt OFF about being a girl, like, something wasn't right there, but it took me AGES to consider that maybe I wasn't cis - it basically took a near-breakdown for me to realize it
After that I put in some thought and realized I Am Not A Girl, but I'm not quite binary trans either, transmasculine, yes
But it's closer to "perceived as male, physically sexless" if that makes any sense at all, so I just call myself a nonbinary guy

hi! am another teen girl who feels obligated to post

my parents are homophobic too. fortunately i got to the information that gays exist first before they could introduce me to it (aka probably never if i didn’t bring it up) and thought “i don’t get it, but alright.” my country doesn’t kill or assault people for being lgbtq+ but they like to acknowledge that i don’t exist so i definitely have plans to move across several ponds. (please don’t take being in a remotely accepting country for granted, my lgbtq+ fam)

i think the signs that i was a lesbian were always there
- i’ve stared at attractive women longer than men since i was like 5 and thought they were attractive (legit thought i was just admiring them tho instead of actual attraction).
- i still remember watching disney’s princess and the frog and straight up leaving the cinema when tiana and prince i forgot his name were gonna kiss it still cracks me up
- when i thought i was bi i just... accepted that i’d probably marry a man but i didn’t really want to think of what i’d do in that kind of relationship.

basically i was in hard denial that i was a lesbian until i was 14 or 15

notice that it took like 10+ years and even though i am sure i have The Big Gay i’m still open to finding out otherwise.

and since we’re girls, thought i’d bring up that some of us out here are getting husbands and having children and then find out whoops they have the gay at 30 or 40! someone already brought up comp het, so i’ll stop here. the good thing is that there are people coming out at like, 80. take your time!

@rainbw

Oh thank you! I really appreciate people being open to talking during this confusing time of my life lol

@spacecrows

I’m always accepting stories! The more I hear, the more helpful! I can’t believe how long things like this take.. you said it took you ages and that kinda scares me...

@biuret

I’m sorry to here your parents are homophobic as well. Also when you said “I have the Big Gay” I laughed a little and it made me feel better.
But if I did come out at 80 I would be a bit sad because as I approach later teen years I might have a first girlfriend or boyfriend or ahhhh

@Babs3
80 year old people right now are coming out at 80 because lgbtq+ stuff wasn’t talked about, let alone accepted when they were younger. it’s very different now, so that’s an extreme case and since you’re part of the many questioning i don’t think you’ll be that oblivious.

girlfriends and boyfriends will help with the questioning process! who you’d consider dating or straight up date says a lot about sexuality. don’t feel too pressured to get one though, or it’ll defeat the purpose. as an (almost??? when is “late teens”) late teen i promise a lot of us haven’t actually dated over here.

obligatory love is love and consent and so on

@Biuret

I hope I’m not being oblivious lol I really just don’t know how these 80 year olds can do it, wait their whole lives to be themselves. I can’t even imagine how they can do that. Hopefully when I’m older I’ll be able to be safe and say how I am... whatever I am...

bi-romantic here!
Ever since I was a little kid I was weird. May or may not have been due to my undiagnosed autism >x< Neither the less, looking back, I acted strange around the girls more than the boys. Finding them cute, very huggy, ... liking the smell of their shampoo and stuff... (I admit that was very freaking weird, creepy, and cringy. I was not adjusted to social interactions, and wouldn't be until highschool)
At that time I thought nothing on it. Girls were said to be cute, girls clothes said stuff along those lines ("I'm the Cutest!", ect) and boys were cool. But I did find boys cute too, girls were supposed to find boys cute, right? Right.
Close to my pre-teen years I discovered something called 'yaoi' and 'yuri' (Japanese same-sex media) and realized that lgbt+ was a thing. I got curious myself, and ended up with a short-term girlfriend. Although it was only a few weeks, I ended up feeling a bond better than any 1 month+ boyfriend I had back then. It felt right, and we broke it off on friendly terms as she wanted something else.
Around 15 I decided to open up to my parents about being bi-sexual, and they seemingly took it well enough. Unfortunately I can't be fully open due to extreme homophobia/dislike of lgbt+ where I live (I have heard threats, heard of families breaking apart, but not of physical assault or worse).
After highschool I got to explore a bit more and noticed that my understanding of 'love' is different than others, basically a low desire for things to get 'physical', if you understand what I mean. After some studying I discovered that 'loving male and female, but not wanting physical 'love'' is called Bi-Romantic.

Basically, there was always a slight sign that something was off, but it took years of exploring and studying myself to come to this conclusion.

@Shadria

Oh you have such a sweet story. I have always considered the fact that other girls are cute but I was never really certain what a crush was and now I look back and still wonder if I was “crushing” or if I just thought they looked cute. To be honest, I’m still not sure what a crush is. But again it’s not very safe for me to ask my family but my friends can’t reallu find a way to explain it to me either, but the way you explained it totally made since so thank you!