General Discussion

All i have to truly say is that, while labels are good, dont feel rushed to pick one and then stay with it forever!!! if you dont know 100%, and you feel you might be pan or something for example. thats valid !! and good!! and if down the road you decide wait, im maybe not pan, im THIS sexuality - that does not make it any less valid! Don't be afraid to see what fits better, its a learning process!

For me, i am a gay trans guy. When I was little i always hated being associated with girls, and when i was 11 or 12 i decided I was nonbinary!! So i went by they/them for a little while and realized that i still didnt feel right at home. And during all my life i had been like " wow i wish i was a boy" and the great thing about life, is that you can be!!! It clicked around 15 yrs old and i was like oh. i AM a boy. okay!! okay. and now im saving up for top surgery when i hit my 20/21st bday!!!

If ur ever like " wow i wish i was this thing but what if im faking it" or something along those lines, i assure you that you ARE that, or close to it. I wished i was male for so long and i never realized that i already was! gender and sexuality is a funny thing.

During the same time i went through all of that mess, i called msyelf aromantic and asexual. Now, i did have a relationship for 4 years or so, but i wont disclose all of that here. Broke up and everythings fine the past year, and thats when i realized OH im not aro/ace i just wasnt with the right person ( for me!! being aro/ace is so valid.) and i fell in love with my highschool sweetheart and we;ve been dating for 8 months now, and im so happy to be able to say im gay!!!!

All of this is to say that, if you pick a label at first and change later, that is completely fine. all it takes its growth and acceptance. if you ever want or need to talk in private for help or anything my PMS are open to all!!!!

@rse

Oh that’s great! I’m so happy that you’ve found your labels! That’s amazing! I think for now my label might be queer but I need to look around a bit first before I can officially say anything, and your right, who knows, I might even change it soon! Thank you for the open messages! I appreciate having someone to talk to this about that won’t hate me for being me!

@/Babs3 Thank you so much!!!! I really want to encourage acceptance within the community, as we wouldn't get far without it. I think thats a good start!! I have friends and even my boyfriend goes by queer because thats just how they feel most at home with. It's just as valid as any other!! Understandably, some dont want to be referred as that BY other people, but there is no harm calling yourself that, in honesty. Good luck !! [emoji=heart size=1]

Biromantic ace here :) I don't have a grand story to tell, really, but if it can be of help, then I'll share what I've got. Please don't yeet me for this, FR ;;

I was always sex repulsed.* Always, since I remember. I mean, I guess it's pretty normal for a child, but it just never went away. Puberty came, everyone my age started to talk about it, and who they found attractive, and what p0rn they liked (I mostly hanged around with fujoshi at that time, so that's probably why that last thing was a... well, thing), and I just... Didn't get it? Like... What's the appeal, exactly? And what makes a person "hot"? Is it just about being good-looking? What are you talking about, mate? What is this "attraction" thing, even? I don't know, but it sounds weird. Can I not do this, please? Can I withdraw and be left alone? Yes? Ok, thanks.
Back then, I had no idea that asexuality even existed. Then one day I saw a post o tumblr that headcanoned a character as such and, well... It just sort of clicked. I remember my first reaction being "wait, THERE'S A WORD FOR THAT?!!" XD I was around 16 or 17 back then. Happily ace ever since.

As for the biromanticism... Oh boy, that's a long one. I come from a rather conservative, religious family in a conservative, religious country. I grew up with the conviction that LGBT people were poor, unhappy, mentally ill folk at best and sinners and degenerates at worst. Sure, people around me like to don the mask of "tolerance" by saying things like "I'm tolerant of the [insert slur here]... As long as I don't have to see it!". So for quite a while the thought that I could be anything other than straight was out of the question (my repulsion aside, that wasn't scrutinized quite as badly - I was just seen as immature). Even when I had crushes on girls I knew, I always shook it off as just a strong friendship or admiration. Then I started reading and watching shounen-ai (please don't laugh). Remember those fujoshi I've mentioned earlier? Yep, they got me into it (after much grossed-out resistance from my side). As silly as it sounds, reading those stories, which portrayed same-sex relationships in a positive light, and sometimes even dealt with the negative perception of them, slowly made go more towards "who cares if they're the same gender, love is love" attitude I have today. It was then that I also slowly started realizing that the same applied to me! I began to realize that I don't really care if the person is a boy or a girl, I can still fall in love with them... And that those crushes from earlier were indeed crushes XD

So, there. I don't know if it's going to help, or if I've even managed to convey what I wanted to, but uhhhhhh here it is. Wahoo~ *backflips out of the thread*

*Yes, I know, not all aces are sex repulsed. I happen to be, and it was a big clue for when I started to question my orientation.

@rse Thank you so much! [emoji=heart size=1]

@Alcorin

Oh wow! You’ve really have figured this all out! I’m super jealous that you’ve known for so long (I think, maybe?)! Thank you so much for the advice, I really do appreciate every word!

Hey, I know it can be scary and confusing, just know there's no rush for you to figure this all out [emoji=familiar heart size=1] I know there's a pressure to understand yourself especially in situations like this, but it's okay to not know instantly! I didn't figure out I was trans until I was 19 and didn't accept it until 20 but that doesn't make it any less real or me Just live life at your own pace, even if it feels it should be faster

@spacecrows

I’m so glad that works for you! I know I shouldn’t amazon prime this but I am a very impatient person XD I mean I can wait but it’s all cool... for now I might be running with queer!

Hey, that's fine! I'm pretty impatient too, haha

Another one who disregarded labels here. Definitely not straight, and I do not give much importance to gender but do not strictly fit into cis either.

My problem is the labels are always changing, people define them differently, so if you tell someone your label they're giving you THEIR version of the label. Plus stereotypes and all. While some might find a label a comfort I find them a cage, you say you're this and people will be 'oh but what about that time???' or you realise you got it wrong and people are all 'but you said you were *blank* last time??? Phase???'

Basically more trouble than they're worth. It's incredibly freeing to just...not care. If people ask me what I am, I say 'I do what I like' (you can add a suggestive wink if you're into that).

But I mean that's me, I don't diss people who do like labels. I get the appeal sometimes.

I'll fly the rainbow flag but that's about as far as I'll go with labelling.