General Discussion

@trickybiz
When I was 18 I signed up for OkCupid as a joke and 75% of the dudes messaging me were 34-35, I think the oldest one was 42
Gud times

But for real, I've never had a relationship, don't really plan on getting one either (aside from the fictional ones in video games *clings to Elliott from Stardew Valley*), I do have however some wonderful online friendships
One of my best friends online is in America, but she wants to study in Germany as soon as she has the money and wants to visit me when she can (I live in the Netherlands), we've known each other for a little more than 4 years now and have been sending Christmas presents to each other since 2012

Another really good friend is a guy I actually met almost a year ago in the then-new Skype chat for Nature members, we hit it off pretty good and are best friends now, we send each other gifts on Steam and talk about meeting each other some day, he actually spoils me rotten with gifts both on Steam, FR, and in real, he said he was going to send me a box with American snacks and other mysterious stuff, it will probably take a while to arrive though because I'm still waiting for his postcard and a little Peaches from Neko Atsume that he sent in February, those gosh darn long distances!

Anyway, not really dating stuff but I felt like this fits in here as well because it's still online and a relationship, just not a romantic one x3

@trickybiz Alright, so I met this girl online in a freaking chatroom when I was like, 12. We became friends. We would rp together and talk late into the night for hours and hours. We were both lonely and we became good friends. When I was about 14 and she was 15 we started dating online even though we had never met. At this point we were super close. Best friends, and now romantic partners. We talked on the phone all the time and sent pics back and forth, as well as gifts in the mail for holidays, etc. We were together exclusively for a little over a year before our parents finally let us meet in person. Her mom brought her to my state on the train (she lived about eight hours away) and me and my mom picked her up.

Immediately things were awkward. We had discussed ahead of time that we were going to take it slow, but immediately I could tell that she was WAY more into me than I was into her. She was much more touchy feely than I was and it made me uncomfortable. There was just....zero chemistry. I had already known what she looked like so it wasn't like I was just suddenly no longer attracted to her, but in person she was just...different. I had a hard time reading her emotions. She was kind of awkward and strange. Something was just off. Within 24 hours our relationship dissolved. It was incredibly rough on both of us. There was lots of crying. We were both devastated. There was just zero attraction to her on my part. It was just...so awful. Oh my god. CRINGE. Awkward, so awkward.

So we went back to being friends. Once she was back home we tried just being friends for a while. We were in a relationship again for just a short time again, trying to make it work, but in the end it just didn't. But we were still best friends. She was really upset about it, it was really hard on her (I was mostly the one that broke it off), but in time she felt better about it and moved on. Now I'm 23 and we're still best friends and talk as often as possible. We've met twice more since then as friends and it was nice. I would love to see her again.

The end! lol so the moral of the story is that...online dating is easier when you have Skype (which I didn't) and iphones for sending pics back and forth (all our pics were ******, blurry pics that we only sent occasionally). You can't just count on your online connection. It could work out, but it could not. We had a deep emotional connection, but the romance just wasn't there.

@Lacelottie

nope, you're certainly not rambling! :)

but I don't know what to tell you except that you WILL make a fool of yourself sooner or later!! because I certainly have. multiple times! haha. with my crush, he was flirting with me and the thing is, the context changes even if it's literally the same word and I said 'well, it depends on how you seduce me' and then it hit me, 'um, wait, that sounds really... bold...' so I asked and he's like 'yup, but it's OK cuz it's with me!' lmao nearly everything in Spanish sounds so in-your-face compared to English. so in conclusion, don't be embarrassed if you mess up! I for one, have never been mocked for it. if you are, then you'll know for sure they're not good people and you can kick them to the curb! and don't worry, you'll definitely find good people!

and thank you, I appreciate the support! I'm hoping as well ;) also true about the social stigma! there's such a bad stereotype that if you do online dating, either it's just hook-ups or you're desperate. which is just... IDK, so invalidating, I guess.

les mis! I've never read it but I definitely saw the recent musical lol classic literature isn't my thing, sadly. :/ it's a wonderful, eye-catching quote though!

@SnickerToodles

ah, damn, I'm hoping he fesses! lol and yes, that's what they say in so many love advice-thingies. that with a healthy, strong romantic relationship, you have to be friends too! thanks for the reply and I wish you the best too!

@Skub

a stuffed giraffe? that's so freakin adorable, I'm dying here!! lol how old were you guys? but goddamn about the second one!! 0.0

@WreckandRule

congrats!! hope everything goes well for you both! ;)

@trickybiz i met this guy on a semi-popular mmorpg back in early 2009! at first he was just a really good friend, always there to comfort me when i was down or hurt. there's quite an age gap, so it was never really allowed to be anything more than platonic. plus, he lived over 600 miles away. when we met, i had like JUST turned 14 and he was 20.

but in 2013, after like five years of being friends (and me... finally being... cough... legal...) he took the plunge and asked me out. long story short, we've been living together for almost 3 years now and i couldn't be happier.

i mostly tried to spare you the unnecessary details buuut that's pretty much what happened!

@trickybiz sorry, mine's not a very happy one but yes, I dated a guy whom I met online.

he was a year younger than me (we are still both minors) and at the time I thought anyone who wasn't transphobic like my last boyfriend was perfect and a godsend.
we got too overly emotional, and it was really hard trying to be there for him when I was trying to deal with my own issues and struggling with my own mental illnesses.

then he got really "into" tumblr culture, I guess? He identified as fictionkin and starting claiming he had headmates of videogame characters, who would sometimes "talk" with me? it was very strange because i thought I would be texting him, but it was one of his "alters."

I ended up calling the relationship off because it was also an LDR across half the country, and I was looking for something more physical. He was also asexual, and I'm very much not. We had a skype call and I asked him if breaking up was okay, he said yes, then started crying.

I think he once told me he loved me, and it was very scary. I now identify myself as aromantic, and I can see why since I've iniated the breakups in all my relationships, and I really can't work with a relationship if there's not physical intimacy. plus I like older men and he wasn't very mature but

However, that's just my experience and many people here have talked about positive relationships!!

Mm well my story isnt romantic or anything and is still ongoing but i met my guy on gaiaonline (when Gaia was still cool). We met in town at an online friends avatar wedding. After that I looked up his profile and added him to my friend list. He always had dark mysterious quotes on his profile and I became interested in him because of it. We got into roleplaying and online gaming together...a lot of stuff happened. He was in several not so good relationships and neither of us were having that great of time in the real life department. We just gravitated to one another because we liked each others company and after several years of just being friends he finally asked me to seriously date him...he became my best friend and hubbie. We are total opposites though and we clash because of it.(building an online relationship is a big roller coaster of a ride) It gets hard and we have misunderstandings and setbacks. It gets lonely to but we have been together so long now he is like my other half. He gets me, knows the real me i dont let anyone else see, he worries for me, and is there for me when no one else is. We sadly have an ocean separating us. Neither of us have given up though because we want that real life relationship we have been working toward. There is so much more we want to know about each other and adventures and fun we want to have that can only be discovered by being together in the real. Anyways that's all... hope your story goes well. :)

i had some good ones, some bad ones, and some in between ones

i never rly wanna online date ever again though but honestly if the feelings come up and its rly strong and we're both willing to go through with it, then i wont say that id dismiss it just bc its online

@trickybiz

Alright well strap in. I'll try to keep the details brief and PG.

First real online boyfriend, we were pretty golden for a few months. Then his depression kicked in and we broke up for dumb reasons, and a week later got back together. He started to get extremely emotionally manipulative, threatening suicide if I did things he didn't like. I went down and met him once and we kissed, but I basically had to trick my parents into taking me on a trip there. He was 4 years older than me. Eventually they found out and we broke up, but I'm glad because oh my god. To this day I'm still dealing with the emotional fallout and impact he had on me with his gaslighting and all.

Fast forward to last year. I met another guy online, and he and I really clicked. We both played league, and he helped me improve as a league player tremendously. He helped me through the worst of my depression too. Unfortunately he lived in the opposite corner of the country, and every time he had money saved up to come visit me, something always came up. I broke up with him at the beginning of February, since he had been neglecting me for quite some time in order to play ranked games on league. Basically I was never a priority, not even on my birthday. And he didn't do anything for me for Christmas. The night before we broke up, I sent him a long text begging him to take my pleas seriously and to take in what I had to say.

He never responded, but I saw him play a league game (which he lost). Then he had the gall to say he was just busy.

Needless to say, I cut him off and haven't regretted it.

Meet them in person, please. That's the most important thing.

I've had a lot of general nonsense happen in online relationships. Most of them were uh.. alternative relationship types but, they just didn't pan out correctly. Mostly it ended with us deciding it wouldn't work but then they online stalked me and got angry when I moved on and found an offline interest.