Creative Corner

[center]today's prompt is a submission from @/Cotinga! if you want to submit a prompt yourself, feel free to pm me anytime![quote=September 27 2021][font=century gothic][size=5]Suddenly you felt a chill down your spine. You weren’t supposed to be here, and you knew it.[/size][/quote] @Nightlilac @goldrush @naranciag @sunwolf @fennecfox21 @sanzang @Hemmalaya @stolen @MaybeHuman @WanderingPaws @kimnoodles @daffydil @finnamony @MittensTheKitten @kawiikatz @Peachycupcake525 @xSTORMDRAGONx @Inkwyrm @TheGrayGhost @moonstrucksmorns @CatInDisguise @DriftingDreams @Xuelian @Mercurythewolf @Pinkish13 @SkySerenade @pandakitty1 @PuppyLuvr06 @shr00mlightz @AllHailWebby @Hyzenthlaay @Illusia @AwkwardTrash @LavenderSelkie @wolfdragon3036 @StarryLune @ulvesang @styygian @Orodruin @Crizona @Lavend3rDragon @PeacefulPyro @PinkRose06 @SocklessWonder @Wyrmlight @fuzzysherbet @Quilava2010 @AlterZero @DewFeather @LapisWings @SouthernHawker @Mistwhisker @darcyrambles @supersticky @Vershton @Starbunnies @Silvfyre @PurpleSun @Sterlingstars @QuirkyJunimo @StarfallRanch @Cinmoren @Morigan @Cotinga[/center]

@Morigan
i can't imagine that exit helped exactly with diplomacy, but... well, what can you do if they're not gonna listen to ya? :D
the style preference makes sense, honestly. i have heard that some people dislike centered text when there's lots of lines of varying width, though, as it's more work for the eyes (there's no easy line on the right or left for the eyes to head towards)
"How much could one really feel for characters in a book?" lots, evidently!! oops :P
a general tip with your writing is that it should still be clear what is going on when a person reads it at first, even if they don't have the full context of the situation (see: beginning chapters of books). most wouldn't want to read a book if they opened up the first page and saw a lot of vaguely ominous text but didn't understand anything happening! the reader wants to be let in on the action. of course, it's awesome if rereading/getting more info gives you some extra perspective, but generally you should still aim for some clarity and a sense of what is happening with the reader, on the first read-through. (which can be hard to do since, as an author, you have a much better sense of what, exactly, is occurring.)
i like the poem/prose, but i don't understand a lot of what's happening in it. for example, who is 'she?' who is 'he?' who is the narrator? what does it mean by 'original'? what choice? what chance? it's understandable that since the thread is more about snippets than long narratives that ominous writing without much explanation is written, but a good thing to keep in mind when you put it all together is to explain things first!

@ZipZapZoom
i. oops? XD
to be fair, most audiences won't have devoured the entirety of the encyclopedia, so it's a bit of a hit or miss with the tundra motivation there. i have read it now, though! and honestly, so much stuff makes sense now. i really need to reread the ff bits again, the added knowledge would be interesting!
trundle trying to be a tundra like grum is adorable, though. random thought, how do breed changes work in your lore? would trundle ever consider one?
i do like the affinity/knowledges coming from the parents. is it nature or nurture, though? (i.e. were they raised to know the information or just naturally had a knack for it?) could they actually wield the elemental magic?

@Cotinga
it makes sense! comedic under-reactions are great, but hard to get right, because it still needs to be realistic to hit. just be sure that the character internally acknowledges it in some way! amythest did say that it was weird, but there was no mention of what she was feeling in the moment, or her emotions towards the encounter. you always want to let the reader in on what the character is feeling. describe it! explain it! For example, in the serthis punishment text, you could say something like 'She felt guilty, but they had to die. There was no other way." it explains her emotion (guilt) as well as a reason for it!
honestly, the poor serthis... was it capable of higher thought, and knowledge of consequence, considering how young it was? it feels a bit like executing a dog that tried to attack the president—most would call that animal abuse, not justice. to be fair, that perspective can also be dehumanizing (dedragonizing??) because beastclans aren't considered on the same level of personhood as dragons in canon, but you also wouldn't murder a two-year old kid who tried to attack the prez... agh. maybe it's just the sornieth society, like medieval human society, and the levels of wrongness with it.
there's also something disturbing about the fact that cotinga had a choice between two, both rather cruel methods of execution to kill the serthis, but not a choice to just let it go free. were her hands tied in some way? did the clan leader order her to do it? (i'm glad she at least decided to show a little mercy in the end, even if it might not mean much...)

"Eclipse! Come on!" shouted spark.
"Spark, you know we're not supposed to leave our dorms at night!" eclipse yawned. "Speaking of wich, how did you get here?"
"It was epic! I climbed through the window! Anyway, Siren hid something big in that room on the fourth floor! We should see what it is!" spark yelled, draging Eclipse out of bed.
"Whyyy are you so obsessed with siren anyway?" exlipse moaned, streaching.
Spark decided to ignore this. "lets go! LETS GO!" spark yelled.
"Shut it or you're gonna wake half the school up!" Eclipse hissed.
Eclipse flicked her long tail as she stalked out of the room.
"okay so we're on the seccond floor so we have to get to the stairs." spark whispered. Eclipse nodded and stalked silently up the stairs. They walked along a hallway lined with classrooms until they got to the bend in the hall. Allong the longest passage, a single door showed in the moonlight from the window. A large iron door with a brass lock and a scent of foreboding. Suddenly Eclipse felt a chill down her spine. she wasn't supposed to be here, and she knew it. Spark didnt feel it. She placed her claw in the lock and twisted. It banged open with an echo around the hallways. The room was dark and seemed to go on forever.
"wow..." whispered spark. Her whisper echoed around the room like a cannonblast. There was no light. Without anyone touching it, the door slamed shut.
"this was a bad idea. WHY DID I LET YOU DO THIS?" asked spark.
"IT WAS YOUR IDEA!" yelled eclipse.
A clinking of crystals sounded around the room.
"Terrible idea. Why? What is siren..." spark was ranting. Eclipse went deadly still. A large pupiless eye illuminated the streach of floor they were standing on. Spark went still too. The eye blinked and a faint hissing noise filled the room.



Okay its been a long time sorry, but I'm gonna try and do this at least once a week.

@fyi

ty! corvus sends his regards (:

oh, oops; i was trying to personify thunder (the thing), but yeah probably should've made it clearer..

ty! that was the vibe i was going for >:]



it is, indeed, personification, based off the narrator's preconceived notions of the plants in the garden- tysm!

the sand is meant to represent something the narrator doesn't want to let go of, but that is very delicate and meant to fade away anyhow (it can mean basically anything, i think, just within that context- for example, a friendship)

the ending wasn't actually meant to be ominous but i think i see where you're coming from, what w/the sand representing time n jazz (to you)

your interpretation of it is really cool, tbh; makes the whole poem's message flip on its head, and it's really interesting to look at things from that pov

also if you wanna know what each specific thing mentioned in the poem means i'm happy to explain :D

[quote name="fyi" date="2021-09-27 04:51:00" ] i. oops? XD to be fair, most audiences won't have devoured the entirety of the encyclopedia, so it's a bit of a hit or miss with the tundra motivation there. i have read it now, though! and honestly, so much stuff makes sense now. i really need to reread the ff bits again, the added knowledge would be interesting! trundle trying to be a tundra like grum is adorable, though. random thought, how do breed changes work in your lore? would trundle ever consider one? i do like the affinity/knowledges coming from the parents. is it nature or nurture, though? (i.e. were they raised to know the information or just naturally had a knack for it?) could they actually wield the elemental magic? [/quote] Nah, it's fine! It's on me for not mentioning it sooner. [url=https://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/2979379/81#post_48799829] This post [/url] highlights a lot of Trundle's idol worship of Grum and her desire to be Just Like Him, but also the dissonance of realizing that maybe he's not all perfect. It also highlights a lot of how Grum's memory works. It's... there. It exists, and in this case is actually tied to a sound more than a smell, but details come how they prefer. Emotions are always tied to memories, specific knowledge less so. But my all-time favorite smell line is, "We gotta get a taste of that smell!" when Grum loses himself in sensory joy once he DOES get a smell of the festival. I imagine it's a very tundra line, and crosses elements. I have thought about why Trundle wouldn't change her breed. First, she might not even ever hear of it. Second, if she does and doesn't outright dismiss it as a possibility, it's something she'd probably actively seek out but never achieve. It'd be a Major Arch for her in the future, and I have thought of this as a....massive...story for her eventually. Breed changes exist, they're just extremely rare. Vera and Red are both breed-change exceptions. One is...actually still a nocturne, but is just That Good of a Mimic. The other was chosen and blessed by Plaguebringer. As for your final question, that 100% depends on the dragon. A lot of it is nurture. Mo-ost of the time dragons are only capable of using their own element's magic. The way I DO get around this though is by acknowledging how similar many of these elements actually are. For example, Vera likes to think of himself as a Fire Dragon, there are a lot of lightning abilities that help him fit in just fine (and mimicking abilities don't hurt!). A note, while I focus on primals just because I like them, I also figure there are dragons with no magical abilities. There are things that elements claim as "theirs" which really aren't, and can be accessed just fine by those who put the effort in trying to figure it out. A lot of the world is more convenient with magic, and a whole lot safer, but it's not a necessity.

[center][quote=September 28 2021][font=century gothic][size=5]It's not their fault, so who's to blame?[/size][/quote] @Nightlilac @goldrush @naranciag @sunwolf @fennecfox21 @sanzang @Hemmalaya @stolen @MaybeHuman @WanderingPaws @kimnoodles @daffydil @finnamony @MittensTheKitten @kawiikatz @Peachycupcake525 @xSTORMDRAGONx @Inkwyrm @TheGrayGhost @moonstrucksmorns @CatInDisguise @DriftingDreams @Xuelian @Mercurythewolf @Pinkish13 @SkySerenade @pandakitty1 @PuppyLuvr06 @shr00mlightz @AllHailWebby @Hyzenthlaay @Illusia @AwkwardTrash @LavenderSelkie @wolfdragon3036 @StarryLune @ulvesang @styygian @Orodruin @Crizona @Lavend3rDragon @PeacefulPyro @PinkRose06 @SocklessWonder @Wyrmlight @fuzzysherbet @Quilava2010 @AlterZero @DewFeather @LapisWings @SouthernHawker @Mistwhisker @darcyrambles @supersticky @Vershton @Starbunnies @Silvfyre @PurpleSun @Sterlingstars @QuirkyJunimo @StarfallRanch @Cinmoren @Morigan @Cotinga[/center]

[quote=September 28 2021][font=century gothic][size=5]It's not their fault, so who's to blame?[/size][/quote] So here is some better culture for you than Chuck Norris. [url=https://youtu.be/Gye0nO_efqI]Your Fault[/url] First 2 minutes. I am so annoyed I could not find the original performance of just the song, so... [url=https://youtu.be/rJir5uPRXcM]Here is the whole play.[/url] Highly, highly reccomend this. It is about 1,000 times better than butchered movie. The song itself starts at 1 hour 59 minutes, but there is are major spoilers before it. Shoot, the whole song is a bit of a spoiler. It's where everything comes out. Best play on the planet..... I shall scuttle off now.

@Morigan
i'd love to know, definitely!! and i get it, sometimes you just need to get your muse out onto paper/screen :D
(fair warning, though, i've never watched x-men)

@kawiikatz
hi again! and don't rush yourself, write as much as you feel you need to!
'"this was a bad idea. WHY DID I LET YOU DO THIS?" asked spark.
"IT WAS YOUR IDEA!" yelled eclipse.' LMAO okay that part absolutely cracked me up. Spark, it was your idea in the first place! XD
also, remember to capitalize nouns. that includes names, so Spark, Eclipse, etc. should all be capitalized. the first word of each sentence should also be capitalized, and that includes dialogue.

@Inkwyrm
i feel like i tend towards the darker interpretations because i read too much angst oops—
the rocks and birds metaphors i would definitely love to know! honestly it would be cool to know all of them tho, flowers included.

@ZipZapZoom
what form do breed changes take? raw magic? runes? scrolls of power?
i very much appreciate that magic isn't Necessary despite being a Thing, and a pretty common thing at that! i have a soft spot for those outside the norm, both exceptional and exceptionally lacking.
blame games are always hilarious! honestly, i'm impressed by how accusatory everyone is. props to the songwriters+actors too, balancing the rapid-fire pace well.

*****Okay, I know I posted a piece with Birkin returning already, but am going to share this after our conversation, @fyi - and maybe in a couple of days post one where I highlighted Grum's memory issues with dealing with the pack. So, I don't know, character building scribbles?*****


"Y'gotta stop moping."

Trundle looked up at Grum to stare at him a moment. She offered a very melodramatic sigh with such a heavy breath that it blew his fur back. Then she snorted, because Grum always snorted when he was displeased. For a finale, she let her head drop to the ground - but very gently. If she'd been well, she would've undoubtedly dropped her head heavily enough to cause Grum to wince. This time, she was the one to wince, and immediately put her head back on the pillow. Then she glared. It was a stare down - 'casue Grad never had the patience for that, and often she won just by threatening to stare.

Somewhere between realizing Grum was just going to stare right back and that he might even be able to win in a blinking contest, the red mirror who never said his name wandered in. She was still annoyed at him about that. Mirrors were so weird. They were all at once more and less talkative than she was, and she couldn't understand most of how they communicated. Grad understood them effortlessly.

"Not while she's throwing a tantrum." Grum answered some wordless inquiry from the mirror.

"This is a tantrum?" Red often spoke for Trundle's benefit. He stuck his head between the two staring dragons and glanced between them. Then sat down between them, facing Trundle and trying to rearrange his body and facial expression to match Grum's. 'Go on, I'll take over." He had to speak through gritted teeth. He looked completely foolish.

Trundle started to giggle. She tried to hide it with a displeased snort, then a sigh, and then a huff. But with each sound she made, Red's expression changed. A sound either made his face stoic and calm (like Grum's was supposed to look), like the way he THOUGHT Grum looked, or something else entirely ridiculous. Eventually, Trundle could only giggle. That made her angry, so she thumped the ground with her tail.

Meanwhile, Grum had wandered to the window. "What's an imperial doing on my lawn? Why'd you mirrors let him in?"

"That's Birkin. Go smell him, you'll know why."

"I don't like imperials," Grum muttered, "and I've enough to--- Humph!"

Trundle'd turned herself toward the door, head up and eyes curious. It was the first sign of anything positive from her in two days, though her tail still curled defensively and threatened to thump the ground flatter than it was.

"Wanna see 'im?" He rumbled his words, a sound between wanting to continue his annoyance at the unexpected arrival and desire to relent for her sake.

Trundle attempted to mimic his rumble. "Yes."

"Nonsense, tail thumping tantrum throwers are high on the Plague Guard's capture list. No Birkin for you." Red's voice was far too triumphant for either of the two's liking.

They both snorted. One sounded like a tundra at the end of all patience, the other sounded more like a little warthog than a little snapper or tundra, Red's chuckling sounded exactly like a mirror enjoying the weird antics of his friends.