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Petall So sorry for the delay!
Clan Page
Your clan page is really unique and beautiful. That image is gorgeous! You’ve done a great job laying out the most important parts of a Clan page (basic lore, allies, wishlist) and it’s aesthetically pleasing. I like your clan symbol and I appreciate that you have the credits available there as well.
Lair
Right away looking through your lair I notice a few things. You’ve got a relatively colorful lair, but the colors are almost all secondary colors (purple, orange, and green), which is very interesting – it makes me wonder if you did that on purpose or if it’s just a reflection of your favorite colors. Second, you’ve got a preference for wildclaws (and yes I also saw your broadcast message so it’s clear you know it ? ). However, you’ve done such a good job of mixing in other breeds between individual wildclaws that it’s a relatively subtle preference and not overwhelming. Lastly, I really like how you’ve allowed both gem and treasure genes to shine in your lair. I see such an impressive variety of genes – it would not surprise me to find that you had at least one representative of every gene (and breed) on the site! Kudos.
Lore/Lorebook
I like that you’ve got a Lore thread and a Bio thread for dragons that have ‘moved on’. It’s apparent that you are working on the Lore thread, I think it will be a great resource when you get it up and running. I read through the Bio thread and it seems some of that could be copied to the Lore thread to flesh it out. I did get a bit confused reading the bio thread because not all of them actually have an ending (particularly the more recent ones). It made it a bit harder to follow your lore.
You have a well-fleshed out sequence of events and major players that provide a nice, solid background for your lore, including a classic villain (Azra). At first I thought from your lore that you had started in Arcane but then moved to wind, but then I saw that your progens are wind – I wonder where you got the idea to have a history built on a ‘clan’ that didn’t actually exist on-site? It gives you a lot of leeway. One point – in comparing the Lore Thread and Bio thread the was unclear to me if “The Inn Over Yonder” is equivalent to “A Golden Age” in the lorebook, and as I delved further into your lore I wasn’t sure where the Council of Twelve fit in to all of it.
Given Azra’s important place in your lore I think it might be nice to have her in a separate page in your Lore Book where you have a link to her dragon page (she was so pretty) and more about her. It took me awhile to find her since she’s buried in the middle of the “The Ones Who Walked Away” section. It would also be cool to have images of Neffie and Ashweather in their former forms.
Bio formatting
Bio-wise, it looks like most are a simple text-only layout, except the occasional clan symbol or art. For dragons with only up to a short paragraph of lore or info (short enough there’s not a scrolling bar, like Res and Aristotle) it works really well. A lot of your dragons have really fleshed out long bios and lore, however, which is great! But I think the bios need a bit of formatting to make those longer bios more digestible. A few photos would be nice (I like the style of Hamilton and his mate’s bio).
Most important, I think, is to use different sections to provide some “chapters” for individual dragon bios. Perhaps you could have 5 sections in each bio that match the sections in your lorebook? For dragons that weren’t born yet for earlier sections you could leave those out. Or sections such as “Origin” “Roles and Responsibilities” or something. I find a general rule of thumb is that 2 paragraphs are about all people will read without some guides – and the nice thing about subheadings or bio sections is that people that are only interested in the dragons’ current place in the clan know right where to look.
If, however, you find that your bios are all so different they don’t fit into consistent sub-sections, another way to make them more approachable would be to have a little ‘summary’ section at the top - perhaps one or two sentences or a quote that are like the ‘cliffs-notes’ for the dragon.
Specific Dragons
Fenn is really beautiful, and I like your apparel choices on her. The blues, purples, pinks, and bits of gold/yellow all work very harmoniously. I really like the italicized portion of her bio in particular, it’s very well-written.
I think that Olivia is a really pretty dragon, but her clothes (the reds and pinks) clash with her colors (and it doesn’t help that the tunics are my least favorite apparel item). For the head of the Inn.. how about some gossamer wing silks? And some simple gold jewelry?
Belarus is really striking looking. The cottoncandy underbelly just peaks out under his obsidian primary and tert and is complimented by your apparel choices on her. Plus, she has a matching familiar! I liked her story, how she was spirited away by magic and taken in by Yonder. Her relationship with Baron is quite cute ?
Epidemic has gorgeous colors and genes, but I’m not feeling the warm/yellow-toned Jasper accent over her beautiful cool colors. I also think the clawtips clash. Without both of those things she would look really awesome!
I can’t pass up Meirwen, she is stunning. Pearl butterfly plus her dark other colors – she’s like a goth pixie. What a wonderful use of the ghost flame apparel!
Incandescence is – strangely colorful and muted at the same time? The tones of his genes and colors go very well together, but I think the earthy tones he has are blocked by the sapphire wings and red bag and turquoise accent. I do think the Aviator scarf is a good choice on him, the tones match him really well. The kind of brown apparel on Sacredscream could really work well with his colors
Speaking of, I think that Sacredscream could use grey or black apparel instead, in addition to that fun scarf and his glasses. The browns look a bit muddy on him, what about some midnight or nightshade apparel for him, or a grey wizard hat? Or maybe go a totally different pallet – I used
http://paletton.com and came up with some green tones? Anyway, I really, really like his lore. In many ways he seems to me to be the most important dragon in your clan!
Lastly I wanted to give a shoutout to Hex, that accent works really well with the iron filigree apparel! I like that she is ‘unapologetically’ a plague dragon
Other dragons that I wanted to point out because I thought their appearance was very pleasing (apparel complementing genes and colors): Dakota, Ember, Mort, Dremasul, Azar, Pompeii, Eden, Ace, and Shadow)
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