Creative Corner

@Kalistys

Thanks for your opinion!

I actually haven't touched the clan intro the last few weeks, but I'll update in a few days. Mostly with the lair layout (it has three parts:upper, ground level, and underground). There's also going to be a few places of interest(mainly the library, the cleansing pool, the aviary and the healer's cove) The library and the aviary are almost done, while the other two I have barely started on.

Yeah, I have a strange habit of using commas a lot, and separating sentences.

There are other ways my clan do to net money, mainly beastclan trading, as well as trading/selling furs, food, carvings and poisons.

As for the all the fae, I just really like them.

I didn't go for any type of organization, since my clan is made up of whoever wants to stay, most of the time it's siblings that are next to each other.

I was actually hesitant to place that blurb in Araziela's bio, but I really needed a reason on why ridgebacks aren't allowed at all.

Most of time ideas just come to me, or I get inspired by music. A few days ago I was trying to make a simple bio layout that I was comfortable with, and I'm managed to make one! (The one in most of their bios.) I pretty proud of this achievement, considering I not a good coder. I planning to add quotes to the others as well, I'm trying to make a general idea of who they are.

I'm glad you like Audacious and Ignita! As you saw, they're aren't finished yet, but I've gotten a good idea on what I want to write for them. Don't worry, Ignita is safe now, she and Audacious (along with a few others), are going to be connected through the stories they'll have. Angel is actually based on lowaa angels.(I'm a bit of homestuck fan).

As you noticed, most of well dressed dragons are mostly on the end pages, because I know exactly what I'm going to do with them.

Again, thank you for your review! I loved reading it! I'll send the payment after rollover.

@Ximena
I'm glad you found it interesting, and I always appreciate getting a follow-up. Thank you for your payment! :)

@Pandacow Here you go! [b]Clan Page/Lore[/b] Wow, I love your written intro and the choose-your-own adventure style! That is so creative! I almost feel like there's somewhere funnier to take people who click "no".. maybe to a page of really obnoxious gifs? :) Anyway, although short, it's well written and brings to mind a clear image of that log and the dank, dark hole. I can't wait to see what's inside! (PS after reading some of your bios I think it could be cool to mention the Shadowbreaker Venue briefly on this page, or move the section in SunShadow bio to the main page) After clicking on "Yes" I am brought to a dragon with a hatchery banner in its bio rather than lore, which seems a bit odd to me. Odder still the hatchery isn't yours! I would remove the banner and/or change the link to a dragon with some lore or a bio to start, if you haven't had time to work out what to do with Spark. The thing I don't like as much about your clan page is the little banner in Chinese with the misspelled phrase. I don't get it a all and I think it distracts from your lore. In my opinion it would be better suited to the bottom of your clan page. More gems. Preach. [b]Overall lair impressions [/b] You have a nice diversity of breeds (I see everything but a ridgeback?) and genders. You don't seem one for fancy apparel or the newest hot genes or trends, which is refreshing. Your names are nice and simple and often quite on point for the dragons, not complicated but very clean. Your lair gives off an impression of 'unfinished' or 'temporary' to me for a couple reasons. First is because of the unnamed dragons on the first page. I would feel more like you had a vision if you moved the unnamed dragons to the second page, or tried to integrate them more into your lair with names and some apparel. It might also help to have familiars on all your dragons. Conversely, if you really only have 15 perma-dragons and the others are fodder/breeding/projects/for sale, it might be nice if you more clearly demarcated that with apparel and familiars, rather than the current mix/gradient. Overall, the way your lair is I can't really tell which dragons are *yours*, i.e. your aesthetic and in your lore. I think that would be something relatively simple to ameliorate if you care to, though. [b]Specific dragons and Bios[/b] [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=20153187] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/201532/20153187_350.png[/img] [/url] I like Sunshadow, her lore, and bio! I think that she should be the dragon your "yes" on the lair page points to. The Bio format is nice and simple, although I might remove the quote box as long as it is empty. The bit about "The ShadowBreaker Venue" seems a bit out of place in her bio - as I said above it might be better suited to the main Lair page. Regarding her bio, I wasn't quite sure if she really was scary mean leader (the hatchlings fear her) or one they loved (but the laugh?). It seemed a bit contradictory, and could be cleared up in the writing. Apparel-wise she is very pretty but I think she either needs a touch more purple to balance the wing guard (perhaps a violet flowerfall?) or she needs a different wing accessory. And what is her charge? [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=20243548] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/202436/20243548_350.png[/img] [/url] Strawberry is gorgeous! I love her colors and genes, and her apparel really suits her. Her bio is relatively short but explanatory. I think it's interesting you mention two of the FR site features in her bio (AH and Coliseum) - I wonder how you deal with the AH in your lore? Is it like a slave trade? Random nitpick- not sure why her bio is in italics while the others aren't. [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=26025794] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/260258/26025794_350.png[/img] [/url] I wanted to bring up this Unnamed dragon because I think she's gorgeous and manages to really pull off the copper steampunk, which I rarely see. I'm impressed that she's a double as well! [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=21526738] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/215268/21526738_350.png[/img] [/url] Leap (what a fittng name!) has on a bit of a mish-mash of apparel I think might be better suited elsewhere. In fact, I would really like to see how it would look if you took the silver filigree apparel from fluffybeard and gave it to Leap. I think the greens in the filigree would go really well with Leap. The Haunted apparel would look really cool on Aquiline or Suckerpunch, and the gold would look really good on Pyrite or your beautifu lbutterfly Unnamed Nocturne. Fluffybeard would look awesome in some moonscale armor and it would go well with his bones! Actually much of the apparel on Pokederg (who has a really cute bio!) would look great on Fluffybeard. On Pokederg a lot of the apparel disappears because it's white-on-white. [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=25788720] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/257888/25788720_350.png[/img] [/url] Lastly, I love Suckerpunch. I only think he might look a bit cooler with a different flair scarf - perhaps the cya n? He's already so bright he doesn't need the red and gold. You have many other dragons that I think are particularly well-dressed: Knockturn, Spark, Lugosi, Mismagius, and Almond. Each has a nice outfit that works really well together, and matches their lore/bios (if they have it).

@Chocoli Here’s your review! I tried to focus on the specifics for individual dragons, as you suggested. [b]Clan Page/Lore [/b] Succinct and focused on administrative stuff. Interesting your clan is in Water despite your flight alignment! I often prefer to know a little bit more about your overall lore before jumping in – one thing that I wondered as I read through your dragon’s bios is about the territory/specifics of the clan’s territory. I saw mention of trees and beaches and water – others that I’ve seen describe their Water realm as completely under water. Is yours a set of islands in the Sea? Or on the edge of the territory with another realm? Just made me curious. [b]Overall lair impressions [/b] Gen 1 heaven! I am really impressed at the variety of breeds and genes your dragons have given that they are all Gen 1s up through page 3. I really like the aesthetic you have for the dragons on page 1, it very much aligns with my own (saturated colors, mix of bright and cool colors). I know you said you don’t have a specific organization, but it looks like it’s Complete Lore Gen1s (through Ulexite), then in progress Gen1s, then Food Gen1s (lol!), then complete lore regular dragons. Your aesthetic is cohesive enough that up through Ulexite it does feel quite organized in its disorganization to me, and I like how you have mates/pairs together (except for SKYLER and LISA on top of each other?). I think the food dragons are a cute idea but they stand out in comparison to your other dragons because they are muddier (natural?) colors and fewer gem genes, and much less apparel. I find the complete non-Gen1s on page 4 actually more in tune with most of your lair. [b]Specific dragons and Bios[/b] First, I really like your bio format. It’s readable yet interesting, and puts important information front and center. I also like that each of your bios are long enough to be interesting and descriptive, but short enough that I didn’t feel like I was reading a novel. [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=57604] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/577/57604_350.png[/img] [/url] Obviously, Ryujin is an exception to the above bio format. To some degree that is good, to some degree it is less so. First, I think the picture interrupts the flow of the bio – it is too large. It would be good if the “Exile, wanderer, warrior” part was visible in the main screen without any scrolling. A combination of condensing the top line to one sentence (it doesn’t need to be 3 double spaced lines) and shrinking the picture could get it all on one screen. It also would be nice if you used the same bio format as the other dragons. Although Ryujin’s bio is actually MORE finished, it looks less so because it’s in a different format and all plain text. I also think you could reduce the number of paragraphs in each section of his bio. Having them all short and choppy makes the whole thing seem longer and cohesive. Origins: Interesting, I like the Origin story. Besides joining paragraphs (try 1+2, 3+4+5, 6+7+8, 9) also watch out for tenses – “wandered” “has been” “moves”. Meetings: An interesting story, but this story seems out of place between Origins and Home, I’m not sure where it fits. Is it just a random event while he was searching for him? some context to place it in time would help. Home: So sad! I find it a bit contradictory though. If he was young enough (you mentioned childhood) when he left to not remember his home well, then he wouldn’t have been the warrior that protected it. I think you either need to change the first story or the last to make sense. [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=25623221] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/256233/25623221_350.png[/img] [/url] Citrine is gorgeous and I love the idea of a living loreweaver. and I like how you’ve connected her to her allies and the living library shows up again and again in other bios. It might be cool to link to some of her assistants since they aren’t right next to her in your lair? BUT I hate that mask, ugh, it makes her look dowdy. how about the solar flame headpiece instead? [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=14680310] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/146804/14680310_350.png[/img] [/url] [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=22258403] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/222585/22258403_350.png[/img] [/url] For some reason I am not feeling Tourmaline’s apparel. She is green and blue and yellow, but you’ve added purple and pink, along with a lab coat that covers her beautiful petals and glimmer. I would try the golden glow alchemist’s tools and golden mage’s set. Plus, I think that lab coat would be better suited to Carnelian – it would work well with her bandages and mask, and I think the red tunic looks too shiny for her colors and genes. [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=26014139] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/260142/26014139_350.png[/img] [/url] I <3 Malachite. Her genes and colors are perfect, and that accent looks like it was made for her. The bits of purple and blue apparel add some other color that is really complimentary. A++ Her owl parliament made me laugh, and I love that she practices topiary ? [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=9051535] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/90516/9051535_350.png[/img] [/url] Bloodstone is beautiful. I would steal him in a heartbeat. His lore is really interesting – you do a great job of describing how dragons from parentless eggs must struggle with their origins and identity. [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=17847344] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/178474/17847344_350.png[/img] [/url] Garnet is another dragon that I think could be dressed to compliment his genes and colors a bit more. He might be a good fit for the Scroll of Pells accent, and I think the red wooly coat accentuates the problem with pearlcatchers having huge chests. [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=2827055] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/28271/2827055_350.png[/img] [/url] I find myself wondering why your Matriarch is so far in the back of your lair – and wondering more about how she found her charge. She seems so important to your lore and yet she’s so buried. She is pretty! Some of your pairs of dragons that had integrated lore really stood out to me, both for their beauty and their well-written and interesting combined lore. I really like Celestine/Sugilite, Celeste/Constellation, and Inlet/Fjord. Other dragons that I think really shine in their apparel/accents, and match their lore: Beach, Fluorite, Alexi, Jasper, Andalusite, Pyrite, Frost, and Fuyu. Dragons I did not find as appealing in terms of their appearance (apparel): Iolite (she looks bare for some reason), Hemimorphite (he looks unbalanced with all that heavy gold filigree on the bottom and bare wings), Kyanite (I like mixing apparel but this isn’t working as well for me), Emerald (too matchy), Ametrine (I don’t think Pells works over that purple seraph), and Frakincense (for some reason the browns aren’t giving me a druid vibe).

@Kalistys
Oooh, thanks for the review! That's a lot of good points you brought up. My clan is in some nebulous part of Water somewhere, as dictated by plot and whatever my lore needs. Irwin-SKYLER-LISA are a trio (Irwin + his two robots)! Tbh the fruit dragons are completely separate from lore and not technically part of the clan. They're just there for personal reasons.

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Ryujin - Maybe one day when I get a few more stories I'll modify it to look more book-like, but the gist of it is: the first three lines are "you" discovering the book > the picture is the cover > the short blurb is summary > then the stories > then the epilogue summary/credits. All his stories are actually written by other people! I do some basic editing and that's about it. (the childhood is because he grew up there, but he left when he was an adult and a full fighter)

Citrine - she thinks the mask makes her look cool and mysterious because it covers her eyes. (also the solar headdress isn't feathery/tribal looking enough)

Tourmaline - I'll look into the mage apparel! That's a good idea. The purples are because she's originally from Shadow. I wanted to show off her petals but it ended up making her look naked sadly.

Iolite - do you have any specific apparel suggestions? I can't find anything I like on her so she's pretty undressed.

Kyanite - he's supposed to be a WC so it's placeholder apparel until i can change him ._.;;

Ametrine - the scroll of pells is supposed to be super gaudy because he's blind and bad at dressing himself... a part of his lore i forgot i deleted oops

Emerald - yeah. i'll need to play around with apparel some more. I'm not sure what other colors to put him in though.

Frankincense - funny story, her lore is just ported from another dragon I exalted. The original dragon was brown and green (and a coatl) so i just kinda tossed the old dragon's clothes onto her and called it a day. one day i'll go back and work on her.

Oidche - she's that far back because she's not G1. I haven't thought of an in-lore excuse yet...

@Chocoli Oh cool! You know what would make the book concept more apparent? If you put the picture in a rectangular fram so it was like a plate in a book, and added a table of contents.

There are so many little things that become apparent about the way people dress their dragons that are based on headcanon that i love hearing about when it's pointed out (i.e. Ametrine, Citrine).

Re: Emerald, what about sky blue and celadon silks (layered) instead of the cape, or grove sylvan wings layered over siren? could bring out some fund colors in the toxin. Sylvan wings look great on spirals!

For Iolite, hmm. Coatl females are really hard for me to dress. Maybe a tome (she could be bookish as well as meek?) or one of the new cloaks? The ghost flame cloak might look awesome on her.

Thank you for your payment!

@gardenvoir Here you go :) Sorry for the delay! [b]Clan Page:[/b] Ok your little icon is adorable. Who made it and where can I get one??? I love the font you used as well. Short, sweet, to the point, includes all the relevant information and links. A+ I particularly like that you have an About link that takes you to a dragon's bio - that is really creative, and it gives you more room to provide information about yourself without taking up the lair page. [b]Lore:[/b] I can tell you are in the midst of a transition because many of the dragons linked to in your Lorebook are not in your lair any more. Nonetheless, your lorebook is very logically laid out and informative. I did find that the font size after the Introduction was a bit small, I found it hard to read. You are such a good writer, your stories were a joy to read. I found Chamomile's story particularly interesting, although I expect it will be getting the ax since you are selling Camellia. I always HAVE wondered how usurpers manage to trick those that love the person (dragon) they are pretending to be. From The Return and Progenitors I gathered that you exalted Aeneas and recently got him back. I hadn't really considered how unexalted dragons would re-integrate into a clan, and you approached it in a really cool way. I hope the end of Progenitors doesn't mean you are going to exalt Caieta! For some reason that would make me really sad. [b]Bios:[/b] I really like your bio format! In fact, it's one of the best I've seen. It's visually interesting and yet simple enough to not be overwhelming. It includes the dragon's 'vitals' (name, job, relations) and also a quote - I love how the quotes really encapsulate the dragon. Additionally, the "About" section is a really ideal length. Each one is well-written with logical paragraphs that keep them from being the Great Wall of Bio. I like how you've got additional stories (when you have them) below a divider. That's a nice way to do it. Each also has a nice little icon unique to each dragon - they are beautifully drawn. [b]Lair:[/b] You have an amazing variety of beautiful, well-dressed dragons that are pleasingly arranged in a rainbow. It makes the whole lair very cohesive despite a wide variety of colors, breeds (no ridgebacks though! poor babies), and even ages. I see that almost all of the are Gen1s, which is awesome. I like your use of silks and flowerfalls throughout, in combination with the plentiful festival apparel you use your dragons look very regal. [b]Specific Dragons [/b] [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=24450887] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/244509/24450887_350.png[/img] [/url] I don't think I've ever chosen a snapper to rave about before, but Lotus is amazing. She looks like such a happy lady, and I love the idea of grandmotherly affection with a shrewd businesswoman underneath. Plus, I'm a sucker for lavender and blues, and the gossamer over prismatic silks makes such a cool effect! Even the daisy flowerfall works due to a slight yellowish tinge in part of the silks. [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=29569801] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/295699/29569801_350.png[/img] [/url] I get where you are going with Moss, but I just can't get past the pink combined with muddy greens. I think I would find him a lot more pleasing without the burlap and witch's - if you played off the blues in his poison he might also fit in better with the rest of your (brighter, less earthy) lair. However, that's just my own bias. [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=21657808] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/216579/21657808_350.png[/img] [/url] Chamomile is gorgeous and sounds like a wonderful leader (when she's not being usurped!). The colors in her glimmer, the candles, and her accent are all perfect together! She does have an awful lot going on right at where her wings meet her body. She might be a little lighter without the spring's breath and wing silks? [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=22495285] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/224953/22495285_350.png[/img] [/url] Ugh, simply gorgeous. Well, not simply, but gorgeous. Celadon + black + gold - so unexpected and yet it works so well! She's very well matched to her familiar. I think there might be an error in her bio, though, because it lists Caieta as her mother but she's not described in Caieta's bio. When reading her bio I found myself wondering how an entire clan of parentless dragons formed. How do they all find the clan? How do they explain their parentage? Just curious :) [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=28165906] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/281660/28165906_350.png[/img] [/url] Despite Lumiose's night sky silk scarf, flowerfall, and pixies, he somehow seems bare in comparison to some of your other dragons. I think bogs just have more real estate they look relatively unclothed in what would be plentiful on others. Perhaps some sylvan wings or wing silks? [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=25759979] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/257600/25759979_350.png[/img] [/url] Nettle is just really cute, although she must be shy or something under all that black! The pops of purple you've added provide a bit of color that work really well with her eggplant glimmer. I do think I might prefer her without the cowl, since the mantle and cowl don't QUITE match. She also seems kinda unbalanced - so much cloth in front, but then much less on her tail or wings. Perhaps conjurer's cobwebs to balance her out? Anyway, I like the idea of a chocolatier, that's neat. //END

@Kalistys thank you so much for the in-depth response! you've certainly given me a lot to mull over, which i really appreciate. and i apologize again for the username mix-up; i realized a little too late that i didn't completely cover all my bases.

(btw, the pixel in my bio is from miirshroom's bonsai adopt shop.)

Thank you for the kind words about my bios/lore. I also really appreciate that you read through it all! i feel like i can be a little too wordy in some cases, so having a second pair of eyes look it over is really helpful. Oh! and don't worry: Caieta will not be exalted lol. I'm much, much too fond of her to ever get rid of her.

Re: Moss
Funny that you should mention going a "bluer" route, because that was actually my first thought as well! unfortunately, none of the combinations i tried really worked, so he's stuck being a herbalist/witchy kiddo for now. i'll keep my eye out for new apparel that may work for him though.

Re: Chamomile
I went ahead and got rid of the candles + mantle (I was letting her try out something new for NOTN). I 100% agree; the newer outfit was definitely a little too cluttered what with her accent + spring's breath + candles + mantle haha. she's hands-down my favorite, so sometimes i can't help but excessively spoil her with apparel.

I'll definitely look into incorporating some of your other points you brought up as well! Thanks again!!

@kalistys heh heh this is pretty fun, and you do a wonderful job! I'LL PAY FOR ONE *stares at form*

User: Me
Lair link: Somewhere here abouts
Payment type: (treasure, gems, art, items) Treasure? Treasure, yes
Review delivery: (forum, PM, tumblr) forum
Dragons or pages to ignore: The jerks
Things to focus on: General Dragon-'tude