Creative Corner

@kalistys aa awesome, i'm excited to read it! i'll send the payment, thank you!

@Basilius Here is your review!! :) I hope you find it useful and fun. [b]Clan Page[/b] First, I love your layout. It is clean and clear, interesting without being cluttered. The horizontal lines work well to break it into different sections. Your notes to self are small and unobtrusive at the end (and I laughed at your Quote, lol. Math is THE WORST). Second, wow, I love the idea of Reform Sorneithism (although that's quite a mouthful) and Sornieth Hatch Signs. That really helps explain how dragons can have different elemental allegiances! Great find, and it's great those ideas are welcome to be shared. I 100% am going to have a new role of "preacher" in my lair now :) Lastly, lore-wise, you do a great job of laying out the three different Clans your lair holds! I can already tell that Hermes, Adam, and Fresco will each have their own clusters of dragons, and I'm wondering what Adam did to lose his Clan. Also, I'm trying to imagine him walking if he weighs as much as a freighter, which he would if he was really made of gold. BOOM, BOOM, BOOM! Does he have an attendant sorcerer that uses magic to make him lighter?(P.S. the little elemental flag at the type of each section is cute as well) [b]Lair Impressions[/b] Fun dragons! That's my first thought. I see some bright, fun colors and Marva's eyes, and a sweater of shame. I also see it balanced out by some darker dragons - every lair in Sorneith needs protectors, after all! I see some pure-white souls, and then your Gen 1 projects, which I can already tell have fabulous colors. Diversity-wise, you have eleven breeds on your first page, which is awesome! It looks like all you are missing is a bogsneak. Evenly mixed by gender, as well, and no one breed seems to dominate. I do notice that you typically have only one gender of each breed, which is interesting (female skydancers, male snappers, female imperials).. although that bias would only become really obvious if your lair tripled in size. We all have favorites, and I'm always struggling to keep myself from having 160 female skydancers (but wouldn't that be a sight?) You've obviously paid attention to your dragon's apparel. Some of your dragons have quite expensive regalia (Adam, Postal) and every dragon on your main lair page has a few pieces. I feel a bit let down when I flip to page 2 and see a lot of pretty, bare dragons! In particular, Chaplin and Chantau are both gorgeous and I can't wait to see them dressed up. Kudos, though, for not biting off more than you can chew. It does make everything seem more organized to have more completed dragons together and then work-in-progress dragons separately. [b]Lore and Bios[/b] I was hoping to learn more about your clans reading your dragon's bios, but sadly, there's not much more information than was present on your Lair Paige. There are so many unanswered questions - probably trapped inside your head, just hoping to bust out! Why did Adam lose his Clan? What has Fresco done to deserve other dragons following him (I'm quite unsure about that one, he doesn't look very trustworthy to me, carnivals are scary!)? I quite like your bio formats. They are simple and clean, informative and easy to read, and visually pleasing. They also contain humor, which made each of your bios a real pleasure to read. I like that you have a consistent format throughout, and that you have a simple place to start that ties all your dragons together (The Deities lists). The only thing I don't love about them is that the title of each is "Hermes Clan" or "Fresco's Clan" or "Adam's Clan". It takes away the importance of each individual dragon and makes them a subsidiary of their leader. Perhaps you could have their name in place of their affiliation, and then put their affiliation in smaller font the next line down? You could also add a color for each Clan that might make it more cohesive and easy to tell who is part of which Clan as you flip through. For example, "Hermes Clan" could be written in dark green, "Fresco's Clan" in Blue, and Adam's Clan in dark gold? Or something like that. Or maybe a border? Hmm. One other thing I would like to see in your bios is what the role each dragon has in your clan - a few of them have it but others don't. For example, Trinket, Stout, and Daleth. It would really add to their lore :) [b]Specific Dragons[/b] [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=29372244] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/293723/29372244_350.png[/img] [/url] I know Postel doesn't have lore yet, but she's so gorgeous I had to talk about her. She couldn't be more perfect for that apparel set. Fire butterfly is so incredible, and the solar flame set is really nice on coatls - you can have the entire set on and she doesn't look buried. [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=25227291] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/252273/25227291_350.png[/img] [/url] Trinket is really cute! The silvers and greys and purples go really well together, she's colorful without being bright or obnoxious. I love the steampunk set and I think it is underutilized. I'm getting a mechanic or engineer vibe from her. [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=25744764] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/257448/25744764_350.png[/img] [/url] Stout looks like a plague dragon, but I see she is arcane. I'm surprised the Plaguemother isn't one of her deities! she is very well dressed and looks like a mercenary or assassin or executioner. ///////// JEEZ I just got that. Imperial Stout. Sigh. //////// Anyway, I love her color combination.. coral bar kinda looks like rotting flesh, particularly when paired with the cleaver and the browns. [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=24531912] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/245320/24531912_350.png[/img] [/url] Aaron is really cool looking, but I can't hep but feel like he's a little unbalanced. He's got such pretty pastels.. his apparel and the arcane apparel and the silks - but then much darker colors as well (the plague symbol and dark blue apparel). He also has a LOT of stuff swirling around him. It actually all kinda works but I think he could look a little more ... warrior-like. I would probably remove the field tools and winter wind and add something else darker on his wings- the filigree wing guards perhaps? [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=25852924] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/258530/25852924_350.png[/img] [/url] Letter is another dragon whose apparel colors I don't feel really compliment her. Reds and pinks just don't work for me. I think she would look better with gold apparel, perhaps with an arcane tome or keep the field tools. Plus we can't see that beautiful spinner! Or with that ice belly, perhaps gossamer silks? Or maybe dark purples? (Ok, ok, I admit it, I'm a pinkist) [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=28259634] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/282597/28259634_350.png[/img] [/url] Bloof is really cool. She Does see to embody autumn with her golds and oranges. I think her bio should say "she is like a fireplace", not "she is alike a fireplace". Shoutouts to Vulture and Six, who are both gorgeous. ///End

@Pandacow Thanks for your order! I've put you in the queue :)

@Kalistys
User: Chocoli
Lair link: http://flightrising.com/main.php?p=lair&id=53634
Payment type: T
Review delivery: Forum

Dragons or pages to ignore: Anyone after Opal, Sunstone/Chalcedony (not finished, unless you want to review their final forms)
Things to focus on: Preference for lore dragons for the specifics if possible, especially Ryujin.
Lair review style: Whatever you feel like.

Other notes: Organization is purely by favoritism. Lore's not too cohesive since it's buy dragons -> think up lore (basically the clan is a bunch of random dragons dragged together by the tides).

@Chocoli Thanks for your order! I've put you in the queue. I expect I'll get to your review tomorrow.

@Kalistys this looks fun!!

User: sailorlunatone
Lair link: here
Payment type: gems
Review delivery: forum is fine!
Dragons or pages to ignore: please ignore page 2. i'm in the process of downsizing.
Things to focus on: aesthetic and lore? i'm about to completely scrap my lore and start over, so i guess it would be nice to have a "final impressions" kind of thing before it's all gone.

@sailorlunatone
Thank you for your order! I'll put you in the queue :)

@Kalistys thank you. looking forward to it!!

@Ximena Here you go! I hope you find it helpful! [b] Clan Page & Lore[/b] Nice intro! I like the story, it is relatively brief, but interesting and informative. I already have a good idea of your lore and clan history, and am curious to learn more. You have a very cool seal as well, and a bit of information that would be useful for visitors. Your writing is readable and gets the point across with some nice emotion and scene-setting. There are a few things I noticed, structurally and in writing, that could be improved. First, it would be nice if the dragons you refer to had their names hyperlinked, and if you named your two leaders in that intro. Secondly, I noticed some typos, particularly use of commas - you quite often have a lot of extra commas (something I do a lot as well!), such as in the first sentence. Here are two other sentences I noticed that could be cleaned up a bit. [LIST] [*][size=2] Although many clans think the Haven is clan full of weaklings waited to be killed, others however, never speak of the horrors they had seen with it's walls. -> Although many clans think the Haven is full of weaklings waiting to be killed, others never speak of the horrors they have seen with its walls.[/size] [*][size=2]There are even more tunnels, barely used and lie much deeper. -> There are even more tunnels that lie much deeper and are barely used. [/size] [/LIST] Lastly, if you wanted to make it a bit less spacious of an intro page, many of the sentences after the second horizontal line and before the seal could be put into one paragraph.. although I kind of like the effect you have going of each sentence as its own paragraph. Speaking of general lore, I like the idea of a clan of wanderers and thieves that all work together. I also like your Clan Rules! They are interesting and hint at a very well-developed lore. After reading, though, I have a few questions about your lore. [LIST] [*]First, is there any surface territory? From the idea of walls and an ‘entrance’ in a cliff, I get the impression the territory is all underground. Totally cool as it is but it could be stated more clearly. [*]Secondly, what do your clan members do? Like, how do they make a living? Through trade? farming? From what I have read the only professions that would provide for the clan so far is thievery. that actually would be cool, to have an entire clan of thieves – I can imagine some interesting conflicts with neighboring clans that would make for good role-playing. [*]Why all the fae? There must be a reason, lore-wise, why so many fae have found refuge in Haven. I’d like to see that mentioned on the main clan page so it’s not such a mystery [/LIST] [b]Lair[/b] I like that your first five dragons, the ones mentioned in your page, are the first five in your lair. I couldn’t really figure out your organization theme beyond that. It wasn’t by apparel – you have very well and thoroughly-dressed dragons on page five and naked dragons on page one. It’s not by color – you’ve got purples, blacks, browns, greens, pinks on every page. It’s not by genes, or by role, or by age – although it may be how long you’ve had them? I did notice (beyond even the page of Faes) that when you have two of the same gender and breed on the same page you put them together. Maybe it’s random? Whatever the reason, it does feel a bit random and idiosyncratic, but as a result looks very diverse and like a clan of eclectic wanderers! Interesting you don’t have very many blue dragons, and no ridgebacks – which I saw mentioned in Araziela’s bio. I’m assuming you just don’t like them that much and have come up with a creative way to not feel guilty about not having any Despite our differing aesthetics I do see a lot of well-dressed dragons that I really like. [b]First impressions: Bios[/b] Wow, color me impressed at the breadth and depth of your dragon bios. I spent time with each one, and came up with a couple general thoughts. [LIST] [*]First, I prefer the bio format that many (but not all) of your dragons have. It is the one that Nilus and Araziela have, but I like the modification that Bloodmoon has with a different picture on the side rather than three banners. It’s relatively simple but with a few frills, and allows you to get right to the bios of the dragons. A few of the other templates you’ve used (Nia, Cinnamon, Mirroasque, Deregh, Nathan, etc) are pretty but quite busy, with not much information up top. [*]Second, you have so much wonderful lore that I think your lair would be improved if you could provide a ‘cliff’s notes’ or such at the top of each bio with a main quote or idea, particularly for those dragons that have a lot of text or stories. This, although with the clan role you already have on most dragons, would allow casual readers to get the vibe of a dragon, and then they could read the longer bio if they choose. You’ve actually already done this with Soren, Nilus, and Peddler. Their top quotes or phrases really set the mood. Other dragons that still just have bullet points, such as Belphegor and Icensian , are actually almost easier to get to know than those that have extensive bios like Engel or Faenamide without the bullets. [/LIST] [b]Dragons [/b] I chose these dragons for their mix of beauty and interesting bios. [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=27786630] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/277867/27786630_350.png[/img] [/url] Angel is beautiful, and silent and deadly. He only has the wooly apparel but I’m not sure he needs more! He reminded me of the Weeping Angels from Doctor Who when I was reading his bio. His familiar is SO perfect as well. [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=26728434] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/267285/26728434_350.png[/img] [/url] Faenamide has such a cool name, and gives off a very Rogue vibe. I like his story and how he came to the clan, and his colors and genes (blood poison and crimson butterfly!) work together perfectly. I do think his lore would be more efficient and easier to understand without the Disillusionist section. [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=26422075] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/264221/26422075_350.png[/img] [/url] Ignita is gorgeous and I LOVE the story of how she got her iron plates. Her apparel combination is really unique but works cohesively. I’m left wondering now that she is a member of clan Haven? [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=24242011] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/242421/24242011_350.png[/img] [/url] Audacious is very pretty with all his silken golds and crystal whites, and has an interesting backstory that kept me reading all the way to the end! [url=http://flightrising.com/main.php?dragon=25915815] [img]http://flightrising.com/rendern/350/259159/25915815_350.png[/img] [/url] Arcalios is a perfect peacebringer, and his apparel, although simple, works really well with his bright colors and busy greens. Outfits that I don’t think suit the dragons that are wearing them: Ronele (too piratey), Parnassus (try the obsidian cowl?), Araziela (the muted browns wash out her rich chocolate), Sidonia (too head-heavy with the cowl and headdress), and Phyrmone (I think she is too pretty for the sandwastes apparel). I also think Infernia, Akihiko, and Marrowrend are too well-matched to their apparel, it disappears. Sometimes contrasting can be more flattering! Other dragons I think are very well-dressed for their colors and roles: Lophia, Zavier, Incensian, Nia, Atradoras, Engel, Deregh, Abellio, Raziel, Telemain, and Renato, //End review