General Discussion

I just want to add to the excitement by noting PRIDE VISTAS released NOT IN JUNE! No rainbow-convenience timing, they just DROPPED the good stuff! in winter!! knowing I matter to FR staff not only during Pride Month but year-round [emoji=rainbow star 2 size=1]

Oh yes!!! The new Ribbon Vistas are super pretty! <3 I was so happy when i saw them. I want to hug everyone who worked on them. You made my day~ [emoji=heart size=1][emoji=pastel rainbow size=1][emoji=rainbow star 2 size=1]

I love the ribbon vistas so much!!

On one note on life rn: bathrooms suck. Science building has converted a locked single room bathroom into a gender-neutral one, but I feel so weird using it cause you gotta ask for the key and sometimes a teacher will pop out. When I dress really masc, I have to look around and circle the building to make sure no one sees me enter a gendered one :( People look at me weird no matter what. And sometimes the neutral bathrooms are just gross and used for socializing. Sometimes I wish I was brave enough to use the mens, but the womens just feels... safer? Cleaner? Idk if anyone else is struggling with this but it really does suck. Hopefully this'll get better and I don't feel alienated/pressured to simply go to the bathroom.

[quote name="brambee" date="2023-01-11 06:28:42" ] [quote name="Hoshiokami" date="2023-01-10 13:06:47" ] Hi! I just got here. But I want to share my story. Im a non-binary, aroace-spec lesbian. Coming to terms with my identity has been a hard fall into reality. I honestly dont cvare so much about my gender identity or my sexuality. But coming to terms about being aroace-spec has been a bumpy road for me. Aroace barely gets ever talked about. Love who you want! is so often the banner at pride parades. But for me love is so complicated. Im aroflux specifically for those who know a bit about the aro spec. My love, if i experience it, is never enough. I dont want to make this anymore depressing. I just want to raise awareness about aroace, specifically it being a spectrum. its rarely talked about and it always feels like the worst part of the lgtb+. Because theres a lot of prejudice and hates against aroace spec as well, which comes from a place of not being educated about the topic. [/quote] welcome!! and felt - as a fellow aroace [strictly aroace for me :p lots of tertiary attractions though] i feel for that so much. while my non-aroace parts were really what i've struggled with here, it did take me a bit to achieve this level of confidence in my aspec identity. the aphobia in the queer community itself, even if in some rare cases accidental, is seldom talked about enough. it's honestly hilarious how similar homophobic and aphobic rhetoric is - "i can fix you", "you haven't found the right one", "it isn't natural" etc [same goes for anti-polyamorous bs i've found] i have a love for spreading awareness and general positivity about queer identities, though, and just learning about them myself, too - so whenever i have an opportunity to speak on something, i tend to. to any fellow aro, ace, of generally aspec or allon't folks, just know you're loved - and that that doesn't need to be reciprocated in any way >;p /p /lh [/quote] Adding onto these wonderful comments! I'm a (generally) biromantic ace, and even though I think I knew I was ace longer than I knew I was bi, it took me two years longer to come to terms with and identify as. On top of this, I do think I'm somewhere on the greyromantic spectrum, but most don't understand the complexity of it so I tend to leave that out. It's such a complicated identity, and on bad days I still find myself questioning whether I have the right to call myself ace. There is nowhere near enough discussion abt it, and I think discussion would help so many people who are trying to figure themselves out! Please express your support and (platonic) love for your neighborhood aroace- they probably will appreciate it.

[quote name="bulrush" date="2023-01-19 12:44:27" ] i left a messy as hell post in the vista thread and im like 90% sure im overreacting to nothing but like, is it weird to not want to use a label to describe myself? autism puts a major wrench into identity as a whole and the fact that disability plays an essential role in both my (lack of) gender and sexuality makes me worried because of things i've seen said about people relating mental illness to their experiences. i had a very stable identity for years and i had to toss that out because it wasn't the right fit for me and i just want to be able to say who i am with total confidence for once, even if that means i never identify as anything more than "briar is briar" [/quote] We're autistic ourselves, and plural on top of it, so we understand how complicated sexuality and gender can get when it intersects with other aspects. We didn't see your vista thread reply, so we can't say if you overreacted or not, but it's okay for you to just be you without labels-- just as it's okay for other people to have as many labels as they like. - M.

[quote name="bulrush" date="2023-01-19 12:44:27" ] i left a messy as hell post in the vista thread and im like 90% sure im overreacting to nothing but like, is it weird to not want to use a label to describe myself? autism puts a major wrench into identity as a whole and the fact that disability plays an essential role in both my (lack of) gender and sexuality makes me worried because of things i've seen said about people relating mental illness to their experiences. i had a very stable identity for years and i had to toss that out because it wasn't the right fit for me and i just want to be able to say who i am with total confidence for once, even if that means i never identify as anything more than "briar is briar" [/quote] I'm autistic too, and feel similarly. The thing that made me feel most at ease and made me feel like I understood, was someone once said to me - every single person is unique, and has there own unique identity. Labels are helpful to those who want to describe how they feel, to put words to their feelings. The labels don't always match 100%, and that's okay, they just pick the one closest to how they feel that makes them feel comfortable. Labels can offer community, feelings of belonging, and understanding of oneself. You don't have to choose a label, many people feel they don't fit the 'criteria' for whatever label, which is why new, more specific labels have been created over the years. Personally, I just use 'queer' - it gets across the message that I am not Cisgender+Hetero, and that makes me happy. I also love the term 'nonbinary', because I feel that is quite an inclusive, broad term, too.

@bulrush I haven't seen your reply to that post. All i can say that your feelings are always legit and it doesn't matter if you are autistic or not. It's your choice alone if you want to use labels or not. I have experience with mental ilnesses and disabilities by myself so i can understand how troublesome gender and sexuality can sometimes be. So, don't worry if you feel uneasy sometimes. It's all okay and if you need someone to talk to you will always find someone here who is willing to listen to you. [emoji=guardian happy size=1]

@Quellian @Sunshine @Enmu wow so many more replies, thank you all for the kind words as well. honestly looking back on what i wrote after a few days i kind of have no idea where i was even going with this lmao. i've just been struggling with identity as a whole and gender/sexuality isn't actually that large a part of it, but now that we have official pride markers it kind of brought things to the forefront. everyone wants somewhere to belong and i did just casually throw out over half my entire life so its just taking a while to cope with i guess. feeling a lot more confident though about not having to pick an identity. even if its rare to see things like "not listing your pronouns means you're cis" or "trauma isn't a valid excuse to identify a certain way" can still wig you out.

@/Sunshine also hi uh that's some terrifying dedication you have in your lair by the way

hi! im a transgender boy and gay! :]

i accidentally came out to my aunt on our way to a Supernatural convention! we were talking specifically about voices, and i said Andy Biersack's voice gives me massive gender envy. she asked me if i was trans, i said yeah. i explained to her gender envy and yada yada, she was really accepting and hasnt told anyone in the family. i love her a lot.

haven't popped in in awhile but I bought my first pin with the lesbian flag on it (of course it's a Starfleet delta, go figure) but I'm so nervous and happy :') I have quite literally never seen a lesbian flag in person and now I have an itty bitty one eeee