i'M DYING FROM THE CARRY-ON JOKE
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TOPIC | Got jokes?
I was at a very emotional wedding the other day, even the cake was in tiers!
when you get it...
when you get it...
I was at a very emotional wedding the other day, even the cake was in tiers!
when you get it...
when you get it...
My grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
My grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
Alright, lame jokes:
Why did the one hand man cross the street?
To get to the second hand store
What do cops eat for dessert?
Copcakes
Why can't you trust atoms?
They make everything up
What does a clock do when it's hungry?
Goes back four seconds
Why should you never play cards with cats?
They might be cheetahs
Why did the one hand man cross the street?
To get to the second hand store
What do cops eat for dessert?
Copcakes
Why can't you trust atoms?
They make everything up
What does a clock do when it's hungry?
Goes back four seconds
Why should you never play cards with cats?
They might be cheetahs
Alright, lame jokes:
Why did the one hand man cross the street?
To get to the second hand store
What do cops eat for dessert?
Copcakes
Why can't you trust atoms?
They make everything up
What does a clock do when it's hungry?
Goes back four seconds
Why should you never play cards with cats?
They might be cheetahs
Why did the one hand man cross the street?
To get to the second hand store
What do cops eat for dessert?
Copcakes
Why can't you trust atoms?
They make everything up
What does a clock do when it's hungry?
Goes back four seconds
Why should you never play cards with cats?
They might be cheetahs
I've heard almost all of these, but that one with Sally always makes me laugh. I am not ashamed. maybe a little
*rubs hands together* I got this.
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi, and a blonde all walk into a bar.
The bartender turns to look at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"
At a bar, Tom said to Bill, "Uncle tried to make a new kind of car. He took wheels from a Cadillac, a radiator from a Lexus, and tires from a Ford."
"What did he get?" Bill asked.
"Two years."
Okay, okay, last one.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said, "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes said, "And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson thought a moment then replied, "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."
And Holmes said, "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent again."
*rubs hands together* I got this.
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi, and a blonde all walk into a bar.
The bartender turns to look at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"
At a bar, Tom said to Bill, "Uncle tried to make a new kind of car. He took wheels from a Cadillac, a radiator from a Lexus, and tires from a Ford."
"What did he get?" Bill asked.
"Two years."
Okay, okay, last one.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said, "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes said, "And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson thought a moment then replied, "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."
And Holmes said, "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent again."
I've heard almost all of these, but that one with Sally always makes me laugh. I am not ashamed. maybe a little
*rubs hands together* I got this.
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi, and a blonde all walk into a bar.
The bartender turns to look at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"
At a bar, Tom said to Bill, "Uncle tried to make a new kind of car. He took wheels from a Cadillac, a radiator from a Lexus, and tires from a Ford."
"What did he get?" Bill asked.
"Two years."
Okay, okay, last one.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said, "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes said, "And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson thought a moment then replied, "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."
And Holmes said, "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent again."
*rubs hands together* I got this.
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi, and a blonde all walk into a bar.
The bartender turns to look at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"
At a bar, Tom said to Bill, "Uncle tried to make a new kind of car. He took wheels from a Cadillac, a radiator from a Lexus, and tires from a Ford."
"What did he get?" Bill asked.
"Two years."
Okay, okay, last one.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said, "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes said, "And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson thought a moment then replied, "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."
And Holmes said, "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent again."
Q: What's the bare minimum?
A: One bear
//dad jokes
A: One bear
//dad jokes
Q: What's the bare minimum?
A: One bear
//dad jokes
A: One bear
//dad jokes
| ... |
I'm Mouse, I'm 20 and I live in Scotland! (FR+9) The Abbey is a Lore Clan and accepts all sorts of letters & interactions. Ask me about inter-clan alliances! |
 |
Asked the order type of the number of digits of π of the number of days in forever, "Are you infinte?"
Replied the number of days in forever,"[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/b/e/4/be4c703ed73456618ed283b892c6715a.png[/img]. You?"
Replied the order type of the number of digits of π, "ωhy, yes; thanks."
What's the cloud's stance on politics?
None yet; it's still up in the air.
Why was the Tex-Mex restaurant having such booming business?
It was the taco the town.
Asked the order type of the number of digits of π of the number of days in forever, "Are you infinte?"
Replied the number of days in forever,"
. You?"
Replied the order type of the number of digits of π, "ωhy, yes; thanks."
What's the cloud's stance on politics?
None yet; it's still up in the air.
Why was the Tex-Mex restaurant having such booming business?
It was the taco the town.
Replied the number of days in forever,"
. You?"Replied the order type of the number of digits of π, "ωhy, yes; thanks."
What's the cloud's stance on politics?
None yet; it's still up in the air.
Why was the Tex-Mex restaurant having such booming business?
It was the taco the town.
I once got hit in the head by a can of soda. But don't worry, it was a soft drink!
Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
She was afraid someone would ceasar!
Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
She was afraid someone would ceasar!
I once got hit in the head by a can of soda. But don't worry, it was a soft drink!
Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
She was afraid someone would ceasar!
Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
She was afraid someone would ceasar!
I love jokes so much, the ones before were hilarious.
Anyway, time for the jokes!
What do you call a fast zombie?
A zoombie
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now
When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'
A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
Ok I am done with all of these puns.Until I start posting more later.
Anyway, time for the jokes!
What do you call a fast zombie?
A zoombie
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now
When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'
A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
Ok I am done with all of these puns.
I love jokes so much, the ones before were hilarious.
Anyway, time for the jokes!
What do you call a fast zombie?
A zoombie
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now
When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'
A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
Ok I am done with all of these puns.Until I start posting more later.
Anyway, time for the jokes!
What do you call a fast zombie?
A zoombie
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now
When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'
A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
Ok I am done with all of these puns.
