General Discussion

oh man, pregnancy and also the natural way to become pregnant has always been a no no for me, I think kids can be absolutely brilliant and smart; but I just can not think of myself having any or even adopting, most of this ties with my sexuality, and plus the fact that I'm just not patient or strong enough to look after anyone younger then me.

but the fact that some people have the mind-set that you if have a female body, 'then you should change' this also happens to those who have a male body and people say that they should find someone and have kids. It's kind of terrifying to me.

I am a minor and I've been told plenty of times "You'll change" or "You'll want kids when you're older" kills me slowly, I remember telling my mother "I never want to have kids" when I was 11, thankfully, she understands I'll may never change.

*shivers* but kids from me!?! from my own bod y oh hohoho hell nah my dudes

Honestly, I'm glad to see more folks around that have their own reasons for not wanting to have their own, or any, kids. I read r/childfree a lot but I just assumed that was it when it came to discussion on this topic.

Personally just I don't have any real experience with kids. I've never babysat and I'm an only child. Never met my mother, the rest of my family lives in another country, and I've lived with my dad for pretty much my whole life. Never had any attachment to family things so when I actually realized that having kids or not is a choice and not something that everyone has to do, it was pretty easy to figure out that I'm just better off not having any of my own. Plus mental illness and blah blah blah

Family....children....just never really interested me. I don't mind children, it's only irresponsible parents that I can't stand.

EDIT: Before anybody attacks me for my rather negative post here, I'd like to make this perfectly clear: everybody is unique and not all kids are the same. Some of them, frankly, are amazing. My post mostly expresses my dislike of the overly loud, noisy kids and why I dislike them so much. I understand that children are overly loud and demanding because they don't know any better, which is why kind and caring parents are required in this world - but that doesn't mean that I am one of them. Again, I do not hate children, I just highly dislike a certain demographic of them.

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Being an ace/aro female who hasn't made it out of high school, it annoys me greatly when I tell people that I never want kids and they say, "Don't worry, I thought the same thing when I was your age, you'll change your mind." Like eXCUSE ME I'M SORRY THAT YOU WERE RAISED BY PARENTS WHO INSTILLED VALUES IN YOU THAT MADE YOU BELIEVE YOU WERE THE PROTAGONIST AND THAT EVERYBODY THINKS THE EXACT SAME WAY THAT YOU DO.

Sigh. There are also a lot of other issues too. All five of my senses are really sensitive for some reason, especially to sound. Almost all of my pet peeves are based on chewing, snoring, sneezing, coughing, screaming, or some other sound. This is not to mention that I get headaches easily when in crowds, and I'm a natural only-child introvert. I absolutely despise children under the mental age of 8 (I say this because I always judge people by how old they are mentally, not physically. Being of a certain age does not immediately mean you suddenly realize something.) because of this, especially considering that they're nothing but attention hogs.

It also annoys me that everybody thinks that baby humans are cute. I mean, seriously. They're freaking tubby bobbleheads with annoyingly high-pitched voices, require constant maintenance, and overall forcefully suck the joy out of your life in a matter of days, especially if you're like me and sleep and free time are major factors of your overall happiness. Nope, I'm gonna be a crazy cat lady who decorates her entire house with cats, dragons, and Halloween ornaments and nobody can stop me.

Last but not least, pregnancy. I have never seen it as a joy of life at all. Not only is it horrible and cruddy and just overall a pain in the rear, but after nine months, you must go through an incredibly painful and possibly lethal procedure that produces a horrible thing that can drag you into debt and unhappiness and anchor you into your own home due to the high maintenance cost. It has always confused me that people congratulate one another upon learning about people's pregnancy.

This is not to mention, as stated above, that I'm ace/aro and have no interest whatsoever in any gender of any sort. The entire method of reproduction... eugh. Cheap pleasure, if you ask me. Go do something that's actually worthwhile!

//rant over

Sorry for the long rant. This is a topic that I have a lot of strong feelings about. If you'd like to argue with me on it for some inconceivable reason, PM me.

I'm not trying to hate on children, I understand what you guys are all saying, but I seriously wanted to punch my neighbor's 5-year old when she gave me a headache from screaming because she wanted to play with the dog.

I mean, if I ever do change my mind, I would adopt. Why bring in more kids when there are so many that already need homes.

After reading a few stories- doctors shouldn't be able to say "I can't sterilize you because I think you'll change your mind." It's your body, and doctors being able to refuse because of their predicaments about you is disgusting.

Someone else with a phobia of pregnancy here. BLech. NO. Like VermillionInk said, I sometimes wish/ wonder if I'm infertile (periods are few and far between like ???) ANd if I'm not I so wish I could become infertile and give that gift of fertility to someome who wants /can handle kids but cant create one, like please. Kids are cute sometimes but I'm a light switch around them. One day I think they're kinda sweet and tolerable, next I find myself wanting to tell em to stop staring and move along. Luckily my dad is like pretty neutral, knows I probably won't give grandkids and that's cool but maybe I could want to and that's cool too. My mom was a tougher cookie and of course was like you say that now just wait you'll want one later but recently she used "if you have kids" and I'm like ! YES she gets me now!
Pets for me!
@sinfirmitas I know you don't want kiddos either

[quote]Look, I don't want kids either, but there's a big difference between not wanting kids/knowing your limitations and being an insufferable edgelord about it. some of u need jesus[/quote] Pfff. [quote]After reading a few stories- doctors shouldn't be able to say "I can't sterilize you because I think you'll change your mind." It's your body, and doctors being able to refuse because of their predicaments about you is disgusting.[/quote] Even more so when at that point, you're prone to having future issues with it and you'd rather wipe your hands of everything. =/

I think children are amazing and full of life and potential and I wish every child could have a happy upbringing and have parents who can give them the support they need. they have so much they have to adjust to in life and i was not given a lot of that growing up
I am very mentally ill and can hardly take care of even animals on my own without breaking down and needing someone else to do everything for me. I can barely take care of myself some days
I could never have children of my own, it would be very bad for them and bad for me. i wouldn't be able to hold a job or take care of them adequately. i wouldn't want to put that burden solely on any partner either.
it makes me sad, but I know I would be negligent and not prepared to teach them everything they need to know about the world
you dont have to hate children to know you cannot be a good parent and shouldn't have them
and... please be nice to kids, you were one too. the things you say to a child could effect them for the rest of their life :(

I don't really hate kids, but I'm not that excited about 'em either. I can tolerate them for a while, but after a certain amount of time, they start to drag me out. I worked in a kindergarten for one year, so I actually have experience with children. Boy, that year destroyed me. It was tiring, annoying and after two months, I started to hate going there. I fell asleep on the couch as soon as I was home and was constantly sick because most kids don't really care about washing your hands and stuff, even if you teach them why it's important. Don't get me wrong, there were some really amazing days and I have lots of fond memories from that time, but overall, that year was hell for me. Sorry, not sorry.

Anyway, I've never felt like getting kids, and my parents (mostly my mother, though), keep nagging me about it. "Oh, you'll change your mind sooner or later!" "Just you wait and see; you'll find your special one and will want to have kids with him!" And, worst of all: "But I want to have grandchildren!"

Dude. I'm not your baby-making machine. And thanks for assuming that you know me better than I know myself. I know that I might change my mind in the future, but it still hurts when people, especially your own family, pretend to know you better than you know yourself and just completely disregard your decisions and play them off as silly. I'm 20, and I've made the decision not to get kids several years ago.

It's not just that I don't like kids, I also think that I wouldn't be able to care for a child. I constantly forget to feed my cat (luckily I'm not the only one at home, so he hasn't had to go without food yet), and I can't even care for house plants because I just keep forgetting to water them. Even putting up notes to remind me won't help. I just forget to do thinsg easily. Plus I'm easily annoyed, and I've had the urge to scream at children before (I never did, because I can control myself, but still) because they annoyed me so much.

I also don't really have a maternal instinct either. When the kids in kindergarten hurt themselves and started crying? I just wanted to yell at them to stop. I know they had every right to cry, but it still annoyed me, and I had little desire to actually help them because of that :/ I actually care a lot about other people and animals as well, and usually I really want to help them when I see them in pain, but for some reason, the kids just never managed to get the same reaction out of me. I also don't find babies cute. I love baby animals, but human babies? I find most of them really ugly, to be honest :/

Not to mention my ****** genes, haha. I really don't want to pass them on to a child; I wouldn't want them to suffer from a messed up spine, bad teeth and arthrosis, not to mention the bullying I had to endure because of my looks. If I ever do change my mind and decide to get kids, I'd probably adopt; the thought of pregnancy scares me, and there are so many children out there already who need loving homes, there's no need to get pregnant.