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Bellymouth
oof yeah sorry had a lot going on and couldn't make it to a computer for a couple days
i was super anxious to start tarot too tbh. i got my deck in summer of 2018, when things were really rough, and couldn't actually use them until just recently. they were just sitting in a cupboard and i'd take them out to look at the pictures and try to feel a connection. i had an emotional block against them due to depression and mental illness. i still have those issues, and im nowhere near better (im worse i think) than i was during the time of when i got them, but i've accepted certain parts of myself and it's allowed me to feel more in tune with spirituality in regards to tarot and minor witchcraft. i don't use it as an everyday tool like "tell me what to do today." for me, i use the cards as a guide towards what possible paths life has in store for me, and it's up to me to choose which one i follow. i am well aware that they aren't infallible and i take certain readings with a grain of salt, because no one entity or person can always know everything about fate and the future. plus, everyone's interpretations of what the cards represent can differ, so no one's experience with tarot will be exactly the same.
sorry for that massive weird soul baring thing haha, i just like to explain my whole take on tarot and hope that it may help someone get into it if they're struggling! anywaaaaay on to the reading
past
the wheel of fortune
this card can represent change and cycles. this can mean literally or figuratively and for your past, i think it means both. you were almost always caught up in something that you did not have control of. your environment, the people around you, perhaps your emotions themselves...things were quite turbulent for you. there were days when you struggled to accept that change is inevitable and you fought against it. others, you were maybe too tired or too worn down by life to even think about going against the status quo. much of these struggles were not shown outwardly and so those around you weren't aware of just how much you hated being a leaf in the breeze. you had the unfortunate habit of keeping your feelings to yourself, because you figured that you could have at least one thing that was not influenced by others.
present
ace of cups
this card can represent new love and creativity. by new love, it doesn't necessarily mean romantic, but more like a new love for something that did not exist previously. at this point in your life, you have blossomed into someone who is quite different from the you of the past. which is good--because as much as you may dislike change, we all change on a day-to-day basis, and that's part of living. you have entered a stage of your life that is full of new beginnings. you bask in the joy of giving unconditionally to others and though it may be embarrassing to admit, the same goes for receiving. it doesn't mean you're selfish; it just means you have accepted that we all rely on one another for fulfillment in some way. your soul has taken on a passion for creating. at first it was a way to channel your distress and maybe a little bit of apathy for how your life was going. but now, you embrace it wholeheartedly, and love to bring people into the worlds and words you think of.
future
the knight of wands, reversed
this card can represent anger and impulsive decisions. your newfound passion for life and creating may lead you down a destructive path if you aren't cautious. you will be tempted to think before you act, and perhaps hurt a personal relationship because of it. reckless thinking is not always a negative trait but one must be careful and think about how our actions affect those around us. don't be greedy and jump at the first chance that tempts you into making things easier. this may have the opposite effect, and instead the passion you have so carefully cultivated may warp and become something else. this is not to say that you have to deny the little things that can help you in every day life. this is more of a cautionary warning of taking on more than you can handle, because in the end it may burn all your bridges.