BURGERKING

If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

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Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Killed without hesitation.
No.

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I went through an entire character arc during quarantine
I became more evil if you’re curious
We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still!
i’m going to get worse on purpose

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What do you think Vanoss will do for a distraction?
He'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.



Building explodes and several car alarms go off



... or he could do that.

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Vanoss and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us
*sighing* What did Van do?
He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...
Who wants a steering wheel?

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If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

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What's a word that's a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Smad.

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: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.
: ...
: ...
: ...

Everyone Else At Copper's Surprise Birthday Party: ...

: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

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: Well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that I screwed up bad.

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: You often use humor to deflect trauma
: Thank you
: I didn't say that was a good thing
: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

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: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.
: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?
: No! Four to five seconds!
: Too late!!!

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: Do you take constructive criticism?
: I only take cash or credit.

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: We need to get through this locked door. Copper, give me your credit card.
: Here.
, pocketing it: Thanks. MOOOOOOOOOOOOO, kick down the door.

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: I told Gohma his ears flush when they lie.
: Why?
: Look.
: Hey Gohma! Do you love us?
, covering his ears: No.
: ...

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: Three words. Say them and I'm yours.
: Three words.
: ...

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: I prevented a murder today.
: Really? How’d you do that?
: self control.

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Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Copper*
: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

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: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my f*cks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

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: *Accidentally hits Copper in the face*
: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m f**king sorry' and 'Are you okay'*
: ARE YOU F**KING SORRY?!
: What’s wrong with you?!

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: Shey... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
: ...
: I wrote sanitize, Shey.

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: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.
: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.
: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?

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: I'm a reverse necromancer.
: Isn't that just killing people?
: Ah, technicality.

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: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?
: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak?!

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: Shey, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!
: Well of course I have.
: Have you ever tried going mad without power?
: It's boring

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: You know how I roll.
: And I’m not talking about that time I fell into a pile of dung at the foot of a hill.

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: I know you snuck out last night, Gohma.
: Play dumb!
: Who's Gohma?
: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

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: Wake me up…
: Before you go go!
: When September ends…
: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-

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: I think we're missing something.
: Teamwork?
: Cohesion?
: A general sense of what we’re doing?

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: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

: Sh*t.
: Wait, three?
: Yeah?
: OH MY GOD GOHMA FELL OFF!!!

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: Gohma isn’t answering his phone
: I’ll call
: Shey and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
: Hello?

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: You lying, cheating, piece of sh*t!
: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING GOHMA WITH ME!
, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

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: Yo is Vanoss sleeping or dead?
: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.
: Yeah, so did I.
: Okay first of all, feck you-

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: How did none of you hear what I just said?
: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
: I got distracted about halfway through.
: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

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: I just ended a four year relationship.
: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?
: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.
* and fighting from across the room*

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: Truth or dare?
: Dare
: I dare you to kiss the hottest dragon in the room
: Hey Shey?
, blushing: Yeah?
: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Hineana

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: Copper, I'm sad.
: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay.
: Vanoss, I'm sad.
, nodding: mood.

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: Why are Copper and Gohma sitting with their backs to each other?
: They had a fight.
: Then why are they holding hands?
: They get sad when they fight.

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, setting down a card: Ace of spades
, pulling out an Uno card: +4
, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
, trembling: What are we playing???

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: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a F**KING THREAT.

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: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

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: You wanna see how hardcore I am?
: *punches wall*
: ...
: Take me to the hospital.

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: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than f*ck

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: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE
: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially
, desperately, as Vanoss bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE
: Oh! B positive.
: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE
:...

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: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

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: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...

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: Bye Gohma! Bye Vanoss! Bye Shey! Bye Shunky! Bye Gohma!
: You said ‘bye Gohma’ twice.
: I like Gohma.

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: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you
: 10 times 0 is still 0 though
: Jokes on you, I can't do math

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: *Gets down on one knee*
: Oh my god, it’s finally happening.
: *Falls over*
: The poison is kicking in.

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: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Gohma's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

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: Can you please be serious for five minutes?
: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

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, pointing: May I sit there?
: That's my lap
: That doesn't answer my question, Copper.

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: *Stubs his toe* F*CK!
: Mind your language!
: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
:
: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

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: So what’s for dinner?
, staring at the food he just burnt: Regret.

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: You're right.
: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

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, trying to ask Copper out: Would you like to stay for dinner?
: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

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: HELP! I TOLD VANOSS I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!
, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

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: We need a distraction.
: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
, whispering: My time has come

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Store Worker: Would a Mr. Copper please come to the front desk?

, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Shey and Gohma

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

and , simultaneously: We got lost :(
: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

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: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it
: Just rip the bandage off.
: It’s Copper.
: Put the bandage back on.

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: Copper, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?
: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later
: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Vanoss.

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: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
: The car takes a screenshot.
: For the last time, get the f*ck out.

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: You disgust me.
: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

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: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.
: I sleep with a knife.
: Both of you are pathetic.
: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?
: Copper.

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: I’m so happy two of my favorite people are getting along now.
: Uh, Copper and Vanoss are not getting along.
: They’re not trying to kill each other.
: You may have a point.

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: What is love?
: An emotional minefield.
: A neurochemical reaction.
: Baby don't hurt me.

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: What do we think of Shey?
*pause*
: *sighs* Nice pal.
: I think he's gay.

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: Where's Gohma?
: Don't worry, I'll find him.
, shouting: Copper sucks!
, distantly: Copper is the best person ever! F*** you!
: Found him.

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: I am darkness. I am power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
: A doll.
: A cinnamon roll.
: A sweetheart.
:
: ...stop it.

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: Hey, you want a tarot reading?
: Those are Pokemon cards.
: You got a magikarp.
: ...
: It means 'f*** you'.

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, bursting into the room: You two are having s**!
, not looking up from their book: Really? Gohma, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

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: Do you think different paints have different tastes?
: They do.
: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

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: If I say I love you, will you say it back?
: Yes.
: I love you.
: It back.
*Later*
: Why is Shey crying face-down on the floor?

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: I am strong! I beat Vanoss at arm wrestling!
: Anyone can beat Vanoss at arm wrestling!
: Hey-

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: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.
:
: I'm gonna tell him.
: Don't you dare.

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: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Gohma's birthday invitations.
: Well, what are they supposed to say?
: "Gohma's birthday".
: So, what do they say instead?
: "Gohma’s bi".
:
: Works out either way.

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: Why does Copper always do the laundry so loudly?
: So everyone knows that no one helps him out in the house.
, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut*

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: Hey, do you know the password to Copper’s computer?
: F*** you, Vanoss.
: Hey!!
: No, you misunderstood, the password is "f***youVanoss".
: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

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: It’s funny how well you and Hineana get along. Didn’t she hate you at first?
: Hineana hates everybody at first. It’s her way of reaching out to people.

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: They made Gohma cry!
: Gohma always cries!
: That's not true! *cries*

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: What time is it?
: I don’t know, pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out
: *blasts the saxophone*
: WHO THE F*** IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE F***ING MORNING
: It’s 2 am

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: Copper said its my turn with the brain cell.
: Square up.

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: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, Nuit is walking in this room.
: *Spits out tea*

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: I'm not that stupid!
: Gohma, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.
: VANOSS TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

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: So, Delirious is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.
: Why?
: Because I've caught him trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.
, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your a**.

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: Where are my f***ing keys?
: Vanoss, Copper is around, can you say it a little nicer?
: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my F***ING KEYS?!

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: Nicomede doesn’t look very happy.
: That's his happy. He's just a b****.

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: Vanoss, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason.
, wearing a waistcoat that's 5 times bigger than his size: Spooky.

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*Everyone is giving advice to Gohma*
: It's okay to ask for help.
: You're not a burden.
: Murder is okay.
: Your feelings matter.

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: My stomach growled super loud in French.
: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class.
: Bonjour.
: Le growl.
: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

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: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

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: Anyone d-
: Depressed?
: Drained?
: Dumb?
: Disliked?
: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...

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: Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?

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, near tears: Please, Vanoss, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

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: Ah s***, I forgot.
: Forgot what?
: How do you expect me to answer that?

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: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect

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: Don’t go picking a fight with me. I could make your life difficult.
, sarcastically: Wow. I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life.

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: Like they say, "If you can't beat them, curl up in a ball and protect your organs."

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, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?
: Copper's in the kitchen.

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: You have to apologize to Copper!
: Fine!
: Unf*** you, or whatever!

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: I’m not being weird. Am I being weird?
: Yes, and that’s coming from me.

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