Hey guys! I'm feeling a little bit indecisive whether or not I want to post here I'm not really having a bad day more like a bad month I guess,
-Lost a friend due to timezones
-Bullying
-no friends on my tiny little island
-only friend lives on the other side of the world
-my family hates me
-because of my autism people talk down to me
-I'm always jealous and angry
and just depression ;-; I can't post my worst problems here as I have extreme paranoia of my family stalking my accounts but I'd love a hug
Hey guys! I'm feeling a little bit indecisive whether or not I want to post here I'm not really having a bad day more like a bad month I guess,
-Lost a friend due to timezones
-Bullying
-no friends on my tiny little island
-only friend lives on the other side of the world
-my family hates me
-because of my autism people talk down to me
-I'm always jealous and angry
and just depression ;-; I can't post my worst problems here as I have extreme paranoia of my family stalking my accounts but I'd love a hug
I have a difficult time conveying my thoughts and idea's so please be patient with me
I got a really bad mark on my science test in french, and now i remembered that i have to show my parents.
I got a really bad mark on my science test in french, and now i remembered that i have to show my parents.
I have a history project similar to that of a science fair project. It's due this Wednesday and I can't concentrate. I'm supposed to be working but I get distracted fairly easily. I'm not even halfway done with the project and I'm not sure what to do now. The only people that understand my attention problems are my friends and my mom keeps yelling at me because I keep getting distracted and she doesn't get how my brain works and stuff :\
I have a history project similar to that of a science fair project. It's due this Wednesday and I can't concentrate. I'm supposed to be working but I get distracted fairly easily. I'm not even halfway done with the project and I'm not sure what to do now. The only people that understand my attention problems are my friends and my mom keeps yelling at me because I keep getting distracted and she doesn't get how my brain works and stuff :\
Having a bad life and i want a refund xD
(not here for freebies btw)
Having a bad life and i want a refund xD
(not here for freebies btw)
@
oldred100 this is really really a nice thing. My day's been kind of crap because I'm out of my meds and can't get more until Wednesday so I'm hella anxious & keep accidentally insulting people because apparently withdrawal me is a Fae, but my roommate and best friend AllosaurCoffee is worse off he's been really sad and depressed for the past several days and sick for longer :c
@
oldred100 this is really really a nice thing. My day's been kind of crap because I'm out of my meds and can't get more until Wednesday so I'm hella anxious & keep accidentally insulting people because apparently withdrawal me is a Fae, but my roommate and best friend AllosaurCoffee is worse off he's been really sad and depressed for the past several days and sick for longer :c
Been depressed for 3 days straight now. I kind of want to go back to not being able to tell the difference between anger and depression. I know how to fix anger! /)_(\
And today of all days, I have a panic attack during a math test, and said attack lasted for over 2 hours...and I am 10 days away from going to see a doctor that can give me medicine. That seems like such a freaking looong time to go. ._.
Been depressed for 3 days straight now. I kind of want to go back to not being able to tell the difference between anger and depression. I know how to fix anger! /)_(\
And today of all days, I have a panic attack during a math test, and said attack lasted for over 2 hours...and I am 10 days away from going to see a doctor that can give me medicine. That seems like such a freaking looong time to go. ._.
I doubt that this post is even that active anymore, but I need to get things off my chest.
I've been feeling depressed for the past 2 weeks and I don't feel as if there is anything I can do to change it. I thought it was because of school because it was the final week of the semester and I thought I was going to fail.
But even when I passed my last semester, my feelings only got worse. I've been noticing some friends who I thought were close to me suddenly stopped talking to me and I feel as if they're all avoiding me at all costs. Then again, I can't blame them because I'm a horrible friend in the first place. I've been crying to sleep more recently. There were even times where I've even cried during the day.
I don't dare to tell my parents about feeling depressed because the last time i did, they yelled at and berated me for being an 'ungrateful brat'. That and my mom guilt-tripped me into staying alive because "it's a sin to kill yourself" and just...ugh.
I can't really type more right now because I can't stop crying rn. I'm sorry for being bother.
I doubt that this post is even that active anymore, but I need to get things off my chest.
I've been feeling depressed for the past 2 weeks and I don't feel as if there is anything I can do to change it. I thought it was because of school because it was the final week of the semester and I thought I was going to fail.
But even when I passed my last semester, my feelings only got worse. I've been noticing some friends who I thought were close to me suddenly stopped talking to me and I feel as if they're all avoiding me at all costs. Then again, I can't blame them because I'm a horrible friend in the first place. I've been crying to sleep more recently. There were even times where I've even cried during the day.
I don't dare to tell my parents about feeling depressed because the last time i did, they yelled at and berated me for being an 'ungrateful brat'. That and my mom guilt-tripped me into staying alive because "it's a sin to kill yourself" and just...ugh.
I can't really type more right now because I can't stop crying rn. I'm sorry for being bother.
So.. I originally was never going to tell anyone any of this. At least, not to anyone I know personally, but since this is somewhat anonymous, it would be nice to just let it out. Although I doubt it'll help much.
For the past three years I've been falling deeper and deeper into this sort of depression. I've never been diagnosed but bi-polar runs in my family, from my grandpa to my mother and now to me. An unfortunate string of events in the first year of this depression set me into this pit of self-destruction and I haven't been able to pull out, despite the love and support I get from my boyfriend.
I have been unemployed all this time, after spending months upon months of job hunting, I just decided not to get out of bed one day. Now almost every day I never want to get out of bed. I'm shut out from the world, without having a car of my own and no friends or family in the entire state, my options for human interaction are limited.
I'm constantly down on myself for my self-image, my apathetic attitude and slowly but surely I've come to despise myself. Any passion I had is gone. I used to love drawing, singing, dancing... but I hardly have the energy to go eat breakfast anymore.
I know I should be medicated. But I have no health insurance and I refuse to ask my boyfriend to pay for my medical expenses when he's already been taking care of me and sticking by my side through everything. I think the only reason I'm still here is because of him. The only reason I get out of bed is because of him. Yet even that is proving not to be enough. Suicidal thoughts run through my head on a daily basis and I'm scared that one of these days I might act on it. In fact, I'm almost positive I will. I can't imagine my life getting any better from here.
Twenty-three years is enough, isn't it?
I'll probably end up deleting this, but thank you to the OP for giving me the chance to get everything out in a semi-anonymous environment.
So.. I originally was never going to tell anyone any of this. At least, not to anyone I know personally, but since this is somewhat anonymous, it would be nice to just let it out. Although I doubt it'll help much.
For the past three years I've been falling deeper and deeper into this sort of depression. I've never been diagnosed but bi-polar runs in my family, from my grandpa to my mother and now to me. An unfortunate string of events in the first year of this depression set me into this pit of self-destruction and I haven't been able to pull out, despite the love and support I get from my boyfriend.
I have been unemployed all this time, after spending months upon months of job hunting, I just decided not to get out of bed one day. Now almost every day I never want to get out of bed. I'm shut out from the world, without having a car of my own and no friends or family in the entire state, my options for human interaction are limited.
I'm constantly down on myself for my self-image, my apathetic attitude and slowly but surely I've come to despise myself. Any passion I had is gone. I used to love drawing, singing, dancing... but I hardly have the energy to go eat breakfast anymore.
I know I should be medicated. But I have no health insurance and I refuse to ask my boyfriend to pay for my medical expenses when he's already been taking care of me and sticking by my side through everything. I think the only reason I'm still here is because of him. The only reason I get out of bed is because of him. Yet even that is proving not to be enough. Suicidal thoughts run through my head on a daily basis and I'm scared that one of these days I might act on it. In fact, I'm almost positive I will. I can't imagine my life getting any better from here.
Twenty-three years is enough, isn't it?
I'll probably end up deleting this, but thank you to the OP for giving me the chance to get everything out in a semi-anonymous environment.
