[quote]“It’s good that you feel remorse, but you need to stop panicking.”[/quote]
[quote]“Try not to get pulled into any world-saving quests while you’re out.”
“I’ll do my best.” [/quote]
[quote]“I might have been doing some blood magic?”
“What!? Eiji!” Hina exclaimed. He held up his hands.
“I know, it sounds bad, but the guy who taught me the spell said it was like, eighty percent safe.”
“What about the other twenty percent?” [/quote]
Two of these are the same fandom, but it's waaay too niche for someone to recognize randomly. The other one is DBZ.
Quote:
“It’s good that you feel remorse, but you need to stop panicking.”
Quote:
“Try not to get pulled into any world-saving quests while you’re out.”
“I’ll do my best.”
Quote:
“I might have been doing some blood magic?”
“What!? Eiji!” Hina exclaimed. He held up his hands.
“I know, it sounds bad, but the guy who taught me the spell said it was like, eighty percent safe.”
“What about the other twenty percent?”
Two of these are the same fandom, but it's waaay too niche for someone to recognize randomly. The other one is DBZ.
"Why are even looking? What if he went there and just died? It happens sometimes."
"Gravity is natural, so yes, he died from natural causes."
"We have trurly dissapointed our ancestors."
Quote:
"Are you telling me, you have done nothing but teleport cutlery around for three days?"
"About that. You might want to buy a new set." His expression said anything but remorse. "I'm afraid all our spoons got stuck in the interplanar void."
"If anyone bothers you, tell them you're mute."
"Am I homophobic if I hate myself?"
I haven't written anything major yet, only singular scenes or at best one-shots of a particular fandom.
"Why are even looking? What if he went there and just died? It happens sometimes."
"Gravity is natural, so yes, he died from natural causes."
"We have trurly dissapointed our ancestors."
Quote:
"Are you telling me, you have done nothing but teleport cutlery around for three days?"
"About that. You might want to buy a new set." His expression said anything but remorse. "I'm afraid all our spoons got stuck in the interplanar void."
"If anyone bothers you, tell them you're mute."
"Am I homophobic if I hate myself?"
I haven't written anything major yet, only singular scenes or at best one-shots of a particular fandom.
All hilariously from the same fanfic
"What! Can't a guy just cook without being greased for it once in a while?"
"Pssh, whatever he wants! Have you SEEN the beef on this boy! Who's the beefiest boy? Yes, it's you! Haha! Can't fit this little man in a suit anymore! We've had to get pretty creative for halloween costumes!"
All hilariously from the same fanfic
"What! Can't a guy just cook without being greased for it once in a while?"
"Pssh, whatever he wants! Have you SEEN the beef on this boy! Who's the beefiest boy? Yes, it's you! Haha! Can't fit this little man in a suit anymore! We've had to get pretty creative for halloween costumes!"
"Around a week later, (Character 1) was starting to get used to what (Character 2) called ‘the whole being-dead thing’."
"Great. It was his stupid screaming that stopped the mind-controlled girls and the monster."
"'But still, shouldn’t we tell your daughter that your grandson has left the house, at night?'
'(omitted curse word),' (Character) grumbled, with slight fear in his eyes."
Character names are omitted for context-related reasons, and well, curse words are omitted for forum reasons.
Edit:
Found another one that I think is funny
"(Character 1) took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Sighing, he then hissed, 'Fine. You win.'
(Character 2) did not respond, of course."
"Around a week later, (Character 1) was starting to get used to what (Character 2) called ‘the whole being-dead thing’."
"Great. It was his stupid screaming that stopped the mind-controlled girls and the monster."
"'But still, shouldn’t we tell your daughter that your grandson has left the house, at night?'
'(omitted curse word),' (Character) grumbled, with slight fear in his eyes."
Character names are omitted for context-related reasons, and well, curse words are omitted for forum reasons.
Edit:
Found another one that I think is funny
"(Character 1) took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Sighing, he then hissed, 'Fine. You win.'
(Character 2) did not respond, of course."
EST timezone (+3 FR Time)
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Wishlist Dragon above
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"He had to stop them since they already tried curling up into a little shrimp."
Haven't done much recently but this one makes me laugh :D
"He had to stop them since they already tried curling up into a little shrimp."
Haven't done much recently but this one makes me laugh :D
"I narrowly escaped being turned into a marketable plushie. I'm not joking. It was genuinely very scary."
"Self-care is playing minecraft for 14 hours."
"Please do not die." "Says the guy who died."
"Didn't you tell Apple that Taco was replaced by a body double?"
"I'm going to eat an entire tray of lemon squares by myself with my bare hands like an animal."
"I narrowly escaped being turned into a marketable plushie. I'm not joking. It was genuinely very scary."
"Self-care is playing minecraft for 14 hours."
"Please do not die." "Says the guy who died."
"Didn't you tell Apple that Taco was replaced by a body double?"
"I'm going to eat an entire tray of lemon squares by myself with my bare hands like an animal."
i'm bugs! my username is bugS-in-space
he/she/they/rot/.com/gut
forum pings make me go ":)"
All very obviously from a Pokémon fic
-
“I know battling can be scary. But it’s OK! I’ll never let anything bad happen to you. And together, we’ll grow stronger!”
Then, a murkrow swooped down, snatching Pest out of his hands and flew away.
-
“Yes, I’ve heard of these stories as well. Feral children, I believe the term is. Raised by mankeys, mightyenas, ursarings, gogoats, Kalosians-”
“What was that last one?”
“Disregard it."
-
“His mothim knew flamethrower,”
“HIS WHAT KNEW WHAT?!”
“Incorrect, Mothim is incapable of learning any fire-type moves, with the exception of Sunny day-
...Sorry.”
-
“H-How’d we even get here anyway? W-Where is here? ” He pulled Pest off his head, holding the bug like a stuffed toy. “And why are you blue?!”
-
“So you knew. He’d kick me in the d*ck. And you said. Nothing?”
“Yeah! It was sooo funny!”
He groaned again, “I hate you. I hate you so much.”
All very obviously from a Pokémon fic
-
“I know battling can be scary. But it’s OK! I’ll never let anything bad happen to you. And together, we’ll grow stronger!”
Then, a murkrow swooped down, snatching Pest out of his hands and flew away.
-
“Yes, I’ve heard of these stories as well. Feral children, I believe the term is. Raised by mankeys, mightyenas, ursarings, gogoats, Kalosians-”
“What was that last one?”
“Disregard it."
-
“His mothim knew flamethrower,”
“HIS WHAT KNEW WHAT?!”
“Incorrect, Mothim is incapable of learning any fire-type moves, with the exception of Sunny day-
...Sorry.”
-
“H-How’d we even get here anyway? W-Where is here? ” He pulled Pest off his head, holding the bug like a stuffed toy. “And why are you blue?!”
-
“So you knew. He’d kick me in the d*ck. And you said. Nothing?”
“Yeah! It was sooo funny!”
He groaned again, “I hate you. I hate you so much.”
after a quick skim through the paw patrol fanfiction/roleplays a friend and I wrote when we were twelve I have arrived with new material
most of these are directly transcribed
Quote:
Highly Ominous Slicing And Screeching Noises (HOSASN!)
Quote:
What is this, an eighties boarding school? No offense, Otto...
Quote:
character 1, who has been holding her calm for as long as possible: NO KIDDING! THEY MIGHT HAVE BEEN CAUGHT BY SOME BEAR IN THE WOODS!
character 2: I wouldn't be surprised if {character 5} got caught by something, but what I do know for a fact is that there are no bears in this forest
character 1: WELL MAYBE THERE ARE
character 3: bears aren't smart enough to set traps, {character 1}
character 1: WELL WHAT IF THE BEAR KING IS CONTROLLING THEM IN A HIVEMIND
character 4: REALITY CHECK, {CHARACTER 1}
character 1: I CAN LITERALLY SEE THE FUTURE, REALITY DOES NOT APPLY TO ME
Quote:
It's decided then. {character 3}, I'm sorry we're sending you off to your very likely death or imprisonment, but I swore that I would never force my pups into something they don't want.
Quote:
I ARREST YOU IN THE NAME OF THE PAW, UM, LAW!
Quote:
I SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM AS A SOCIOPATH
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DAMN ANXIETY-INDUCING THAT IS
Quote:
No godly power can contain her anger
Quote:
character 1: do you like schnitzel
character 2, who is evil: Vat kind of qvestion is zat? Of course SchNiTzeL is Ze sOuRCe oF aLL zET Is hOLy
about half the characters here belong to @
Ritodragon by the way (if she's not chill with me posting this I can delete ofc)
after a quick skim through the paw patrol fanfiction/roleplays a friend and I wrote when we were twelve I have arrived with new material
most of these are directly transcribed
Quote:
Highly Ominous Slicing And Screeching Noises (HOSASN!)
Quote:
What is this, an eighties boarding school? No offense, Otto...
Quote:
character 1, who has been holding her calm for as long as possible: NO KIDDING! THEY MIGHT HAVE BEEN CAUGHT BY SOME BEAR IN THE WOODS!
character 2: I wouldn't be surprised if {character 5} got caught by something, but what I do know for a fact is that there are no bears in this forest
character 1: WELL MAYBE THERE ARE
character 3: bears aren't smart enough to set traps, {character 1}
character 1: WELL WHAT IF THE BEAR KING IS CONTROLLING THEM IN A HIVEMIND
character 4: REALITY CHECK, {CHARACTER 1}
character 1: I CAN LITERALLY SEE THE FUTURE, REALITY DOES NOT APPLY TO ME
Quote:
It's decided then. {character 3}, I'm sorry we're sending you off to your very likely death or imprisonment, but I swore that I would never force my pups into something they don't want.
Quote:
I ARREST YOU IN THE NAME OF THE PAW, UM, LAW!
Quote:
I SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM AS A SOCIOPATH
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DAMN ANXIETY-INDUCING THAT IS
Quote:
No godly power can contain her anger
Quote:
character 1: do you like schnitzel
character 2, who is evil: Vat kind of qvestion is zat? Of course SchNiTzeL is Ze sOuRCe oF aLL zET Is hOLy
about half the characters here belong to @
Ritodragon by the way (if she's not chill with me posting this I can delete ofc)
hey name's Cyrith and I go by she/her
I need to reformat my sig one of these days
Unfortunately I don’t have many quotes that are funny out of context. Take this failed attempt at being nice as an apology.
Quote:
“Bodies of water like this intimidate me.”
“It’s not entirely misplaced—the water’s cold, and you’re short so it will probably come up to your neck if not higher. It wouldn’t be hard for you to drown.”
(I am forever ashamed with myself but I love reading through everyone else’s ^.^)
Unfortunately I don’t have many quotes that are funny out of context. Take this failed attempt at being nice as an apology.
Quote:
“Bodies of water like this intimidate me.”
“It’s not entirely misplaced—the water’s cold, and you’re short so it will probably come up to your neck if not higher. It wouldn’t be hard for you to drown.”
(I am forever ashamed with myself but I love reading through everyone else’s ^.^)
“Apparently he was found by the abnormality team back in April in a Walmart Parking Lot, so we suppose he’s an inter-dimensional case.”
”716, you have done nothing but draw dragons of heavy variety for the past three days, refusing testing sessions to continue your art. We have taken your drawing abilities until you participate in the tests you missed.”
“Apparently he was found by the abnormality team back in April in a Walmart Parking Lot, so we suppose he’s an inter-dimensional case.”
”716, you have done nothing but draw dragons of heavy variety for the past three days, refusing testing sessions to continue your art. We have taken your drawing abilities until you participate in the tests you missed.”
Risk - It/They - Please Ping
It’s lobstering time (for lobsters)
