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TOPIC | Help me with my lore please!
Hello!

I'm writing lore for my progens and i want them to be a lovey dovey couple thats very obsessed w/ one another but i am literally abysmal at writing lore. . .

The current lore i wrote for them are in their bios but i feel like it could definitely be worded in a better way

Neon / Suncatcher

Any tips or advice on how i can make this better are greatly appreciated!
Thank you so much!!!
Hello!

I'm writing lore for my progens and i want them to be a lovey dovey couple thats very obsessed w/ one another but i am literally abysmal at writing lore. . .

The current lore i wrote for them are in their bios but i feel like it could definitely be worded in a better way

Neon / Suncatcher

Any tips or advice on how i can make this better are greatly appreciated!
Thank you so much!!!
SleepyBean
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@XxSilverPoolxX
Doesn't sound too bad; I suggest describing stuff longer so that it might sound a little more interesting.
(also, you might not want to make their lore sound so similar like copy/paste; remember, they're still different people!)
Sounds nice tho :D
@XxSilverPoolxX
Doesn't sound too bad; I suggest describing stuff longer so that it might sound a little more interesting.
(also, you might not want to make their lore sound so similar like copy/paste; remember, they're still different people!)
Sounds nice tho :D
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@XxSilverPoolxX

If Suncatcher and Neon are back together, did Suncatcher just...buck the arranged marriage and run off with Neon? Was she miserable? Did she truly want to be in the marriage from the start? Was he jealous, or upset that his true love was getting shafted and stuck with someone who didn't understand her?

Also, where are their charges? Their searches?? If you're not super into canon lore I get it but if you ARE then this is just ?????? Give us the drama, the conflict - not just the cliffnotes!
@XxSilverPoolxX

If Suncatcher and Neon are back together, did Suncatcher just...buck the arranged marriage and run off with Neon? Was she miserable? Did she truly want to be in the marriage from the start? Was he jealous, or upset that his true love was getting shafted and stuck with someone who didn't understand her?

Also, where are their charges? Their searches?? If you're not super into canon lore I get it but if you ARE then this is just ?????? Give us the drama, the conflict - not just the cliffnotes!
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@Gubyub
Yeah! i should def go more into detail, it was something i quickly came up with but i'm def looking to flesh it out more, thank you so much hehe

@Istoki

I'm not very familiar with the canon lore, but that is a good point!
I'll try to put more information and thought into suncatchers marriage as that would probably be a really good story point hehe, thank you for the good notes and tidbits!

Will definitely work more on the lore and update it as it goes hehe, thank you both
@Gubyub
Yeah! i should def go more into detail, it was something i quickly came up with but i'm def looking to flesh it out more, thank you so much hehe

@Istoki

I'm not very familiar with the canon lore, but that is a good point!
I'll try to put more information and thought into suncatchers marriage as that would probably be a really good story point hehe, thank you for the good notes and tidbits!

Will definitely work more on the lore and update it as it goes hehe, thank you both
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wuheheheh i've made some updates to suncatchers lore, still working on it though!
personally i really like this way better than the simple two sentences i was giving before haha
When Suncatcher was a young dragon she had a personality as bright as the sun, so much so that many dragons would flock to her in hopes of becoming friends. She was often surrounded by dragons around her age and one of those dragons stuck out like a sore thumb.
This dragon liked her so much that he would follow her around everywhere, through the Emberglow Hearth looking for food and metal then to the Tsunami Flats to relax and play. Suncatcher was sick of this dragon following her everywhere and finally snapped at him. Taken aback, the dragon paused for a moment then solemnly walked away. Suncatcher, realizing what she had done she chased after the dragon to apologize.

After that night, the dragon no longer continued to follow Suncatcher around. She felt terrible, and despite the constant nagging of this dragon, she felt lonely. Suncatcher did not know how much this dragon has impacted her daily life, just having his presence around was the norm for her but now..? Confused, Suncatcher continued the days as best she could. Her mind was elsewhere though, which impacted her adventuring abilities greatly, in a trip to the nearby Emberglow Hearth she got too close to the lava and burnt her tail a bit. Then during her usual trip across the Carrion Canyon, she stumbled and nearly plunged to the depths.

Others noticed that Suncatcher wasn't her usual bright self and had brought it up in an attempt to console her, but Suncatcher would shake her head and say she's fine. Finally the dragon that had caused all of this built up the courage to talk to Suncatcher again and let her know how he was truly feeling.

Finally the dragon was no longer remembered as "the dragon" in Suncatcher's mind, but rather "Neon", She had opened her heart up to him and accepted his feelings.


However, not all things have such a happy ending and this is not an exception.

Suncatcher had an arranged marriage made with Scorpio. A terrifying dragon that has made it's home in the Shadow's hearth, and is seeking a bride in return of protecting the clan. Unfortunately, Suncatcher was chosen. Suncatcher has heard the rumors of this Spiral, he who slaughters innocents with a crazed smile on his face, and was terrified at the thought of becoming his wife.

She had tried many times to ask them to think this through and cancel the marriage arrangements, but the clan elders shook their head and told her that this was a "worthy sacrifice" and that "Scorpio wasn't all that bad". Neon even tried to convince the elders many times, always getting the same answer that Suncatcher got.

As the marriage date was nearing, Suncatcher had made up her mind to run away and abandon the clan, her home. This decision was not easy to make, as she had many friends and family members here in the Shifting Expanse but she knew that if she had stayed, it would have made her feel lifeless.

Suncatcher did not tell Neon any of this, until the night of the marriage had arrived. She pulled Neon aside and asked him if he would be willing to abandon his home and run away with her to the Tangled Wood, where nobody would find them. Neon didn't even give it a seconds thought before agreeing.

They ran, as fast as they could, nobody had a clue what they were doing not even Suncatcher knew! Flying through the winds and playing throughout the clouds as they glid through the skies, they felt free and happy! Stopping momentarily to rest or eat food, they continued on their way to the Tangled Wood.


WIP

wuheheheh i've made some updates to suncatchers lore, still working on it though!
personally i really like this way better than the simple two sentences i was giving before haha
When Suncatcher was a young dragon she had a personality as bright as the sun, so much so that many dragons would flock to her in hopes of becoming friends. She was often surrounded by dragons around her age and one of those dragons stuck out like a sore thumb.
This dragon liked her so much that he would follow her around everywhere, through the Emberglow Hearth looking for food and metal then to the Tsunami Flats to relax and play. Suncatcher was sick of this dragon following her everywhere and finally snapped at him. Taken aback, the dragon paused for a moment then solemnly walked away. Suncatcher, realizing what she had done she chased after the dragon to apologize.

After that night, the dragon no longer continued to follow Suncatcher around. She felt terrible, and despite the constant nagging of this dragon, she felt lonely. Suncatcher did not know how much this dragon has impacted her daily life, just having his presence around was the norm for her but now..? Confused, Suncatcher continued the days as best she could. Her mind was elsewhere though, which impacted her adventuring abilities greatly, in a trip to the nearby Emberglow Hearth she got too close to the lava and burnt her tail a bit. Then during her usual trip across the Carrion Canyon, she stumbled and nearly plunged to the depths.

Others noticed that Suncatcher wasn't her usual bright self and had brought it up in an attempt to console her, but Suncatcher would shake her head and say she's fine. Finally the dragon that had caused all of this built up the courage to talk to Suncatcher again and let her know how he was truly feeling.

Finally the dragon was no longer remembered as "the dragon" in Suncatcher's mind, but rather "Neon", She had opened her heart up to him and accepted his feelings.


However, not all things have such a happy ending and this is not an exception.

Suncatcher had an arranged marriage made with Scorpio. A terrifying dragon that has made it's home in the Shadow's hearth, and is seeking a bride in return of protecting the clan. Unfortunately, Suncatcher was chosen. Suncatcher has heard the rumors of this Spiral, he who slaughters innocents with a crazed smile on his face, and was terrified at the thought of becoming his wife.

She had tried many times to ask them to think this through and cancel the marriage arrangements, but the clan elders shook their head and told her that this was a "worthy sacrifice" and that "Scorpio wasn't all that bad". Neon even tried to convince the elders many times, always getting the same answer that Suncatcher got.

As the marriage date was nearing, Suncatcher had made up her mind to run away and abandon the clan, her home. This decision was not easy to make, as she had many friends and family members here in the Shifting Expanse but she knew that if she had stayed, it would have made her feel lifeless.

Suncatcher did not tell Neon any of this, until the night of the marriage had arrived. She pulled Neon aside and asked him if he would be willing to abandon his home and run away with her to the Tangled Wood, where nobody would find them. Neon didn't even give it a seconds thought before agreeing.

They ran, as fast as they could, nobody had a clue what they were doing not even Suncatcher knew! Flying through the winds and playing throughout the clouds as they glid through the skies, they felt free and happy! Stopping momentarily to rest or eat food, they continued on their way to the Tangled Wood.


WIP

SleepyBean
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