Alskasaur wrote on 2018-09-10 01:50:16:
I low-key don’t understand how notifications are so stressful for people... Like not trying to sound rude at all but it’s a little number that you can click and it instantly goes away? I’m honestly curious how they stress people out so much.
(Just as a note - I'd also personally prefer not to be pinged or messaged, please. You can still reply to me by quoting me without pinging. Thanks! <3)
That's okay, @
Alskasaur, you don't need to understand. The good thing about this stuff is that in order to treat people decently, you don't need any kind of specialised knowledge. As soon as you know that this is a thing some people experience, you already have all the information that you need! ^_^
It's like if someone has an allergy you don't have. The thing is fine for you, but it hurts them. And that's normal human diversity! So once someone tells you they're allergic to that thing, you know not to give them that thing, and you're all good! You don't need to know all the technical details of how the biology and chemistry works to cause that specific allergy in them and not you. You can already just not put that thing in their food. Nice and simple! :D
This situation is more like someone having an allergy you've never heard of before, and didn't know existed. An allergy that, with the naturally limited pool of experience you have to draw from, doesn't seem possible to you. That just means there are gaps in your knowledge, because just like everyone else, you're not an all-knowing deity. And that's okay. You're perfectly valid and good just the way you are, and so are they. <3
So as soon as someone tells you they have that allergy you've never heard of, you've learned that it's possible, and now you know it exists. And that's all you need! You can just absorb that information and act on it when necessary. You not understanding something doesn't make it any less real. It just means you've learned about a new thing, and you lack the mental tools to understand it. Which is totally normal - so many different people exist, that nobody can understand all of the possible ways people's minds and emotions can work, and all of the possible experiences people can have.
In this case, it's a thing you don't experience, and you don't experience anything similar to it and your brain doesn't function in that way, so of course you wouldn't be able to imagine how it works or what it feels like! Nobody should expect you to, including yourself. You're not supposed to be a mind-reader, after all.
It's just another example of how some people are different to you, and their experiences are real and valid just like yours are. It matters when something hurts you, and people should avoid doing a thing to you that hurts you. And it matters when something hurts this other person, and people should avoid doing a thing to them that hurts them. It doesn't matter why it hurts, or how it hurts, only
~that~ it hurts. It doesn't matter either that different things hurt them than the things that hurt you. You're different people, so naturally you experience things differently to each other. Maybe something that would hurt you wouldn't hurt them. They might be immune to salmonella, for example. That doesn't mean it isn't a horrible experience for you when you get food poisoning.
Of course, if you do want to learn about it, you can! ^_^ You can go do some research online, look for things people who experience anxiety have written or said, and that kind of thing. This isn't the place (or the way) to try and learn that stuff. If you want a good chance at understanding, try not to make comments that could seem dismissive, disbelieving or judgemental, and try to avoid asking the nearest people to become your tutors - or anyone really, if they're not offering. It's a much better idea to look for information that's already available (especially if it comes from somebody who experiences that thing themself) and people who are already offering to teach. That works much better, and avoids mistreating anyone.
The good news is you don't
~have~ to do any of that! Unless you're super curious, you don't need to understand anything. It's okay to not know things, and it's okay to be confused. The only thing you need to know is that some people experience this thing that you don't experience. And now you know about it you can avoid accidentally harming them, so yay! ^_^
So now that somebody has shared this valuable information about a thing they experience that you don't, you've learned another thing that exists, you're armed with a better awareness of the world around you, and if you choose to you can use that knowledge to be a more awesome person! :D <3