Items For Sale

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August 04, 2014 19:47:39

@Acantha
It is, yep!! I started messing around with animations and that's the first thing I've done :)

I'll go ahead and change that phrase up! Thanks for looking over it again

captain's creations: accents

@captaincaiti Dang, that's awesome--great job! And no problem! n_n

Acantha

12690

August 04, 2014 19:54:18

@captaincaiti Dang, that's awesome--great job! And no problem! n_n

@acantha Thanks! I'll work on it (: Sending the treasure now~

trickster88

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August 05, 2014 08:35:38

@acantha Thanks! I'll work on it (: Sending the treasure now~

@Acantha

Page to be critiqued: Touch Of The Storm Hatchery
ReviewType: Full Review
Notes: Fairly completed though i'm constantly adding things as they occur to me. I've been feeling very self-conscious of my hatchery and my own amateurish banners and layout and would like a critical eye. I was considering adding little summaries for each pair to bring more interest to them as well.

I've actually been meaning to submit this for awhile now, made a form up twice and kept changing my mind because I was nervous lol XD. Be as harsh as you need to be! (I send the money after the critique right?)

ChaliceCabriel

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August 05, 2014 22:42:28

@Acantha

Page to be critiqued: Touch Of The Storm Hatchery
ReviewType: Full Review
Notes: Fairly completed though i'm constantly adding things as they occur to me. I've been feeling very self-conscious of my hatchery and my own amateurish banners and layout and would like a critical eye. I was considering adding little summaries for each pair to bring more interest to them as well.

I've actually been meaning to submit this for awhile now, made a form up twice and kept changing my mind because I was nervous lol XD. Be as harsh as you need to be! (I send the money after the critique right?)

@ChaliceCabriel I see, I'll take a look then! c: And yes, money after is just fine. =)

I apologize in advance for the length of this post. 8D;

First, I like the idea behind the banner with the broken-down squares, but I feel like it would look better if the boxes were larger on the left side of the main portion of the banner, and going smaller to the left, so it looks like the banner is breaking down. I also would add a top and bottom border, as it looks odd that there is no border there when all the mini-boxes are fully bordered. I recommend non-italicizing the banner text--it looks more professional and clean, imo. I'd also remove the credit to yourself (again, this clutters up the banner a bit) and instead integrate it in one of your posts in a format something like this: "All graphics are by ChaliceCabriel".

An edited version of your intro (my commentary on the changes I made in brackets):

Quote:

Welcome to the Touch of the Storm [capped]Hatchery, here you're welcome to take home your very own piece of the storm! Here we breed for varying ranges of all sorts and I'm[capped] constantly adding and changing[typo] things so be sure to check back often! Peruse as you like;[added semi-colon] we might bite but it's all in good fun,[added comma] I swear! Don't be afraid to contact us for any reason and each dragon's[added apostrophe] code is included so you can check out future offspring with more ease.

I may agree to stud out any of my dragons for a stud or dam fee or nest split, I also look for other nests to breed my dragons in sometimes.

And of the updates section:

Quote:

-[removed to one dash, to be consistent] I have changed the look again!!! XD

- I now exalt dragons[??? more detail please--I have no idea if you mean you just exalt dragons willy-nilly, or you exalt hatchlings that don't sell, or unpopular pairs and whatnot] and[uncapped, this is not a new sentence] the pinglist [pinglist does not need to be capped]has been re-added.

- [added a space]May no longer be regularly breeding some pairs[which pairs?? specificity would be nice] so if interested in anything in particular be sure to ask.

I think the headers are really nice but give the hatchery's theme I think it'd be more appropriate for them to be storm-themed. ^^

How We Work section--it looks weird to me that the dash is underlined as well--I think it'd be better if just the words were underlined. Although I think bold + underline is kinda overkill anyways, just bold alone would work just fine imo.

More edits:

Quote:

Hatchlings will be priced upon hatching as the market tends to vary often but I am open to all kinds of haggling and alternate payments in the form of apparel, unhatched eggs, and certain swipp items.

A suggestion for the above--maybe go through an item list and pick out items you'd accept as payment and list their image codes under this section so people know exactly what you're looking for?

Quote:

RATIO - Gem to Treasure ratio 1:350

Rather than name this bit Ratio, I'd call it Gems and say "I accept gems at a rate of 1:350".

Put the Ping bit first! Don't want people missing that part. :P

More edits:

Quote:

I do not carry ping lists over between nests [reworded] for specific reasons[this is a super vague non-reason, either remove this phrase or actually explain what those reasons are] so if you would like to indefinitely stay on a certain list just let me know.[divided this into two sentences since it was getting lengthy] If you change your mind and would like to be removed after all [missing a clause here?? you're missing the tail end of the if-then statement], otherwise after each ping I will ask if you would like to remain on and all non-answers will be perceived [spelling]as no and also upon transaction unless asked otherwise.

For sale section--I recommend putting the description in this format so it's easier to read:

Quote:

Blue Speckle/Ice Shimmer/Banana Gembond
Male
55kT [either use 55kt or 55,000t--55,000kt is in the millions+ or something I believe]
5375416
From the Arctic Winters Collection

Quote:

Looking for 30k separately or[changed "and" to "or", since you can't do both options x)] around 50k for both.

I really like the formatting of your pairs! It's very neat, clean and visually easy to read & understand. I do notice though that your borders aren't actually going over the dragons at the edges--is this intentional? It looks neat in the middle where their heads come together, but it looks a bit messy at the other edges--especially in pairs like Frosted Dreams where you're missing an entire edge.

Also, it would be nice if the links you provide are in the same order that they are in the graphic. Like if in the graphic the male is on the left, then the link to him is also on the left.

It's too late now for this particular board, but in the future it'd be nice to have the affiliates & pinglists in a separate post. ^^

Acantha

12690

August 06, 2014 19:04:36

@ChaliceCabriel I see, I'll take a look then! c: And yes, money after is just fine. =)

I apologize in advance for the length of this post. 8D;

First, I like the idea behind the banner with the broken-down squares, but I feel like it would look better if the boxes were larger on the left side of the main portion of the banner, and going smaller to the left, so it looks like the banner is breaking down. I also would add a top and bottom border, as it looks odd that there is no border there when all the mini-boxes are fully bordered. I recommend non-italicizing the banner text--it looks more professional and clean, imo. I'd also remove the credit to yourself (again, this clutters up the banner a bit) and instead integrate it in one of your posts in a format something like this: "All graphics are by ChaliceCabriel".

An edited version of your intro (my commentary on the changes I made in brackets):

Quote:

Welcome to the Touch of the Storm [capped]Hatchery, here you're welcome to take home your very own piece of the storm! Here we breed for varying ranges of all sorts and I'm[capped] constantly adding and changing[typo] things so be sure to check back often! Peruse as you like;[added semi-colon] we might bite but it's all in good fun,[added comma] I swear! Don't be afraid to contact us for any reason and each dragon's[added apostrophe] code is included so you can check out future offspring with more ease.

I may agree to stud out any of my dragons for a stud or dam fee or nest split, I also look for other nests to breed my dragons in sometimes.

And of the updates section:

Quote:

-[removed to one dash, to be consistent] I have changed the look again!!! XD

- I now exalt dragons[??? more detail please--I have no idea if you mean you just exalt dragons willy-nilly, or you exalt hatchlings that don't sell, or unpopular pairs and whatnot] and[uncapped, this is not a new sentence] the pinglist [pinglist does not need to be capped]has been re-added.

- [added a space]May no longer be regularly breeding some pairs[which pairs?? specificity would be nice] so if interested in anything in particular be sure to ask.

I think the headers are really nice but give the hatchery's theme I think it'd be more appropriate for them to be storm-themed. ^^

How We Work section--it looks weird to me that the dash is underlined as well--I think it'd be better if just the words were underlined. Although I think bold + underline is kinda overkill anyways, just bold alone would work just fine imo.

More edits:

Quote:

Hatchlings will be priced upon hatching as the market tends to vary often but I am open to all kinds of haggling and alternate payments in the form of apparel, unhatched eggs, and certain swipp items.

A suggestion for the above--maybe go through an item list and pick out items you'd accept as payment and list their image codes under this section so people know exactly what you're looking for?

Quote:

RATIO - Gem to Treasure ratio 1:350

Rather than name this bit Ratio, I'd call it Gems and say "I accept gems at a rate of 1:350".

Put the Ping bit first! Don't want people missing that part. :P

More edits:

Quote:

I do not carry ping lists over between nests [reworded] for specific reasons[this is a super vague non-reason, either remove this phrase or actually explain what those reasons are] so if you would like to indefinitely stay on a certain list just let me know.[divided this into two sentences since it was getting lengthy] If you change your mind and would like to be removed after all [missing a clause here?? you're missing the tail end of the if-then statement], otherwise after each ping I will ask if you would like to remain on and all non-answers will be perceived [spelling]as no and also upon transaction unless asked otherwise.

For sale section--I recommend putting the description in this format so it's easier to read:

Quote:

Blue Speckle/Ice Shimmer/Banana Gembond
Male
55kT [either use 55kt or 55,000t--55,000kt is in the millions+ or something I believe]
5375416
From the Arctic Winters Collection

Quote:

Looking for 30k separately or[changed "and" to "or", since you can't do both options x)] around 50k for both.

I really like the formatting of your pairs! It's very neat, clean and visually easy to read & understand. I do notice though that your borders aren't actually going over the dragons at the edges--is this intentional? It looks neat in the middle where their heads come together, but it looks a bit messy at the other edges--especially in pairs like Frosted Dreams where you're missing an entire edge.

Also, it would be nice if the links you provide are in the same order that they are in the graphic. Like if in the graphic the male is on the left, then the link to him is also on the left.

It's too late now for this particular board, but in the future it'd be nice to have the affiliates & pinglists in a separate post. ^^

@Acantha

Whoa that is lengthy XD I knew my grammer was in need of some work but I had no clue it went that far lol. ^.^; That's what happens when you slack off :P.

Thanks a lot for the crictique and yeah, the missing edge on the breeding banners was intentional because I rather liked the sort of depth it added but I'm a big novice at using the program so it probably could have been executed better. As for the headers I wasn't so sure of them myself so I contacted an artist (who knows what they're doing) who will make me some new ones.

I already intend on changing my entire opening as I was recently struck by a new idea so your grammer crictiques will certainly be useful ^.^.

I did not however make the hatchery banner, a friend made it for me when I first started it so I have been a bit hesitant over the idea of replacing it and I would have loved to put my affiliates and ping list on a separate post but unfortunately those came some time after I started it up so yeah, unfortunately a bit too late for that change.

I also appreciate the critiques on my rules section i'm such a nervous person that I'm always concerned about how to best word things without offending people and yet being clear about what I'm trying to get across. Just this morning I had different banners and I forgot to switch the names around, thank you for reminding me!

Thank you very much for the helpful crictique and here is a lengthy response to match! I am certainly going to take everything you pointed out into consideration as I continue to make my improvements to be a better hatchery! ^.^ I will send the treasure right away now.

ChaliceCabriel

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August 06, 2014 19:22:34

@Acantha

Whoa that is lengthy XD I knew my grammer was in need of some work but I had no clue it went that far lol. ^.^; That's what happens when you slack off :P.

Thanks a lot for the crictique and yeah, the missing edge on the breeding banners was intentional because I rather liked the sort of depth it added but I'm a big novice at using the program so it probably could have been executed better. As for the headers I wasn't so sure of them myself so I contacted an artist (who knows what they're doing) who will make me some new ones.

I already intend on changing my entire opening as I was recently struck by a new idea so your grammer crictiques will certainly be useful ^.^.

I did not however make the hatchery banner, a friend made it for me when I first started it so I have been a bit hesitant over the idea of replacing it and I would have loved to put my affiliates and ping list on a separate post but unfortunately those came some time after I started it up so yeah, unfortunately a bit too late for that change.

I also appreciate the critiques on my rules section i'm such a nervous person that I'm always concerned about how to best word things without offending people and yet being clear about what I'm trying to get across. Just this morning I had different banners and I forgot to switch the names around, thank you for reminding me!

Thank you very much for the helpful crictique and here is a lengthy response to match! I am certainly going to take everything you pointed out into consideration as I continue to make my improvements to be a better hatchery! ^.^ I will send the treasure right away now.

@ChaliceCabriel Haha nah your grammar wasn't bad at all, I just like to pick at every single little thing. :P

I'm glad it was so helpful! Feel free to let me know for a followup review anytime. ^^

Acantha

12690

August 07, 2014 02:59:29

@ChaliceCabriel Haha nah your grammar wasn't bad at all, I just like to pick at every single little thing. :P

I'm glad it was so helpful! Feel free to let me know for a followup review anytime. ^^

@captaincaiti
Pinging myself so I don't lose this since I'll probably have my hatchery up tonight

captaincaiti

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August 11, 2014 13:46:45

@captaincaiti
Pinging myself so I don't lose this since I'll probably have my hatchery up tonight

captain's creations: accents

@Acantha
Page to be critiqued: Hatchery
Review Type: Full Review
Notes: It's pretty much done, though I may make some tweaks here and there and it still needs a title. Be as harsh as needed!

captaincaiti

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August 11, 2014 18:39:22

@Acantha
Page to be critiqued: Hatchery
Review Type: Full Review
Notes: It's pretty much done, though I may make some tweaks here and there and it still needs a title. Be as harsh as needed!

captain's creations: accents

@captaincaiti Sorry for the late reply, was at work/doing errands mostly! Condensing your last two rules into this: [quote] [list] [*] Dragons for sale will all be in the AH for their listed price, but I am also open to offers. [/list] [/quote] Most of the items in the accepted payment section are worth far more than even the most high end dragon, maybe mention that you'd be willing to add treasure to your end? Gorgeous pair graphics! I'd love to see links to each pair though, and perhaps a range of prices for the babies on each pair? I feel like Blackbeard and Spring's graphic could be reworked so the ranges are less confusing--it took me a little while to figure out what was what. Anyways, not much critique there, so 5kt is fine. =)

Acantha