General Discussion

*waves*
autistic person with depression and social anxiety here.
i only learned i was autistic a few years ago, and it's kind of weird because suddenly a lot of my life makes sense. i still have no idea how to handle it (i hate going to therapy, and i especially hate talking about my problems), but it's kind of nice to know that a lot of my "weird" behavior (being extremely annoyed by random words, for example) has a root somewhere. :V

Yo, Ashes here! I have OCD, anxiety, mild depression, likely some degree of PTSD, and I'm looking into getting a diagnosis for suspected schizoid or schizotypal. Mental illness runs in my family, especially on my mom's side.

I need to see my doctor about potentially getting medication for my OCD, since my intrusive thoughts, obsessions, paranoia, and severe phobias have been trying to run my life lately. :'| I just want to function normally! I dropped out of university because my OCD/anxiety was so bad; I had such a hard time sitting in class and interacting with my classmates that I had to quit for my own well-being.

I seem to function better in a relatively-solitary work environment (keeps my brain occupied + i don't have to make small talk) and I'm waiting on an interview right now, so hopefully I can get back to working and feel a little better soon. :o

@Pitbull

PTSD is usually caused by physical life threatening events. However, I wouldn't say that it's unheard of for someone that dealt with non physical abuse to develop it. PTSD is caused by something life threatening or a significant threat to oneself.

Flashbacks, dissociation, panic attacks, nightmares, things like that happen with PTSD. Now, some of them, particularly panic attacks, could be from a different anxiety disorder, but flashbacks, nightmares, hyper vigilance and typically dissociation is used for PTSD.

That said, it does sound like it could be PTSD. At the very least, an anxiety disorder of some sort. However, I'd say to see a therapist to be sure, due to possible overlap with other anxiety disorders.

It's kind of funny when you think about it. You typically think of anxiety and depression being on two opposite ends, but they certainly don't have a problem being an issue together.

Oh, I'd also like to throw this in-if there's a family history of mental illness, that can increase your susceptibility to developing it. If you have a current anxiety disorder, then yeah, you're at a higher risk for PTSD. Not unheard of for people to have GAD and then end up with PTSD too due to trauma. Mind you, this is from what I've read about it. I do have some family history for anxiety in general and depression and my psychiatrist does think that I had an existing anxiety disorder prior to PTSD.

Oh yeah! PTSD can make it's presence known soon after the event or it could be years down the road before symptoms occur. It's very strange like that.

@Pitbull

I think that other than nightmares/flashbacks, the dissociation is the worst of the symptoms I have. Last major episode was over a year ago and that lasted almost a week. Felt like I was someone else, but not, my skin felt like it was suffocating me and I had thoughts of 'maybe if I tear off the skin on my arms, I'd feel better'. I also didn't sleep much if at all that week because I'd wake up in a panic.

Didn't harm myself, but that was the event that I finally said, enough is enough I'm going to try medication. Had a minor dissociative episode after that and had an increase in the dosage for my meds. Since then, I haven't had any. I still get a bit of the other stuff, but it's very infrequent and minor.

It's a good day when you're able to find out what triggers you. I know I did feel some relief when I finally figured mine out!

I've been in therapy for about 5 years now - I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders within my final years of high school (my final experience with education was a messsss) and most recently it's likely that I have a form of high functioning ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder - previously Aspergers) - which I'm finding out, might have been why I struggled in high school in the first place - sadly a common story for females with ASD.

Anyways, here's some advice from arguably a 'veteran' in this particular field.

• First off, don't compare. You say you're college age - so am I - and first off that's young. You have a whole life ahead of you! In fact it's better that you've caught onto this now and are pursuing therapy than a lot later in life - the result will mean when you are faced with common crisis' later in life you will endure a lot better than someone who had an easy young-adulthood. I know it's a lot harder than it sounds to tell yourself this (I still have days where I struggle to believe it too) but if you're ever worrying about not achieving, falling behind with what someone your age should be doing etc. remember this - your health is your first priority. And secondly, these ideas of 'milestones' and 'achievements' are ideas held by societal norms and not your own. And they're unrealistic.
  
  
• Put in all your energy. With therapy I firmly believe you only get out what you put in. I made the most progress within the first two years of diagnosis because I was so focused on fixing the problem. There will be days where you will be tired as heck, overloaded, just wanting to lie in bed forever - and the occasional day is fine, sometimes you need that rest - but don't let it become your constant. Make yourself go out with friends, or family - sometimes change of scene is all you need. Sometimes what your therapist will ask you to do will be hard, and terrifying and frustrating - but it's always better on the other side. It's the first step that's the hardest.
  
  
• Don't be afraid to look for another therapist. I've had three. They all did amazing work, but I've found they're a bit like a good pair of shoes; its about finding the right 'fit'. My current psychologist is the best one I've had since she can pick up on nuances I'm not even aware of and was also the first one to suspect I had ASD.
  
  
• Remember that you are not well. Don't hold yourself up against the standards of people who are 'mentally fit'. Don't bully yourself when you're having a bad day, when you cant do anything productive. YOU ARE SICK, and you are doing your darndest to get better. You aren't your illness, so don't beat yourself up for being sick.
  
  
• Don't be scared if it takes a while. I can only talk from personal experience, but I think it all depends on what you're sick with. It might be just depression. It might be part of a bigger issue. You may have another disorder, or a chemical imbalance and it may take more time to find that out. It might not take longer than a year to get better. It might take several years. And it will get tiring. There will be days where you will be sick to death of trying so hard. But don't let it win - keep fighting. The illness is not you. And it's an old cliche but it DOES get better. Every year I can face more that I couldn't before. Every year I learn more about myself and how to fight it. Every year I get stronger.
  
  
• Find things you love, and distract yourself. There will be times where you really need a distraction or a change of environment; basically something else for your mind to chew on instead of constantly gnawing on you. Find an endless project, something you can pour into that's there when you need it, that'll require a lot of thought and shut that negative voice off. Learn to draw, write - whether fiction or fanfiction, take up photography, learn to knit/crochet, make a videogame, garden - find things you love and do them! I think projects are very important for someone who is struggling with something like depression - they give you something to focus on and you can produce something that you can shove in the face of your illness and say 'ha! look what I did!' and feel really good about it.
  
  
• You are not alone. I mean look at all the responses to this thread! So if you ever do feel alone, if you need someone to vent to - we're all here. And we all get it. And we'll continue the fight alongside you.

Anyway I hope that was helpful! You will get better, I know you will. We all will :>

@Grr

Let's see:

- A.D.D
This a "goes without saying" thing. I've been diagnosed, had doctors and parents fill out paper work but YAY, no meds. That crap kills. But yea, I have so many fidget and distracting habits like drawing on myself or biting my nails. Stuff like that. It doesn't need therapy, but my therapist instructed me to always wear necklaces or jewelry I can play with.

- Clinical Depression (re diagnosed)
I had a small bit of depression called Dysthymia, but it wasn't supposed to last as long as it did and I talked to my *New* psychologist and she diagnosed me. It wasn't fun, but it helps me step forward
and keeps me going to find help for myself, but I don't enjoy the random mood falls. I'm doing better thanks to therapy!

- Anxiety (re diagnosed)
It sucks, so much. My psychologist thinks it's from school pressure and home issues, but to be honest, it's also from all the problematic people that have weasled their way into my life and hurt me badly. I get the random attacks, the not wanting to be bothered moods, you name it. I've been doing better.

- Auditory Processing disorder (recently diagnosed, still questioning my new therapist)
Thanks to having a birth defect that involved my ears and constantly having chronic ear infections, I have this. I say this is a newer diagnosis, but it was diagnosed two years ago. I say it's recent because I just looked up what my old therapist told me and what it meant. It sucks man.


- Melatonin Deficiency (more of a sleeping disorder than a mental one, but stressful )

UUUUUUUGH, JUST IMAGINE BEING EXHAUSTED AND READY FOR SLEEP, BUT THEN YOU DON'T SLEEP AT ALL OR VERY LITTLE. It was diagnosed, yes, but the doctors can't do much about it. It's disappointing, but I do have a few remedies to try. Like, taking sleep aids such as melatonin.


Most of this was discovered earlier in high school and elementary school was the whole a.d.d diagnosis, but it took until this year, my graduating year in high school, for me to get a better grip.

@Grr
Officially diagnosed with depression which is honestly really bad right now, anxiety, and I'm thinking I might be bipolar to a degree.
What didn't help was that I got bullied really bad in 7th grade to the point where I was suicidal, and the school administration did nothing until my "guidance counselor" made the mistake of siccing DCF on us because I was too antisocial.
Long story short the middle school had to foot the bill for a psychologist to figure out what was "wrong" with me, hence us finding I had Aspergers' and all that other crap.
We've moved to a new town and it's my last year of high-school, but I'm hopelessly paranoid of my own age-group and likely won't ever be able to make any non-internet friends because of it.