Bourbon

(Flu Game - Fall Out Boy)

A story of tragedy, loss, and how grief can make someone do some crazy things.

"I guess to you now, I'm just a face in the crowd"

Bourbon exits the stage, the crowd cheering after his performance. He weaves between the other dragons backstage and makes his way to his private dressing room. As soon as the door is shut he relaxes his body. He glances to his dressing table and his eyes land on a framed picture. A beaming imperial uses its wings to hold a purple pearlcatcher close to their body. The pearlcatcher has a slight blush and has a big smile on its face. Bourbon takes off his hat and gently sets it on top of the framed picture. He thinks back to the last time he saw them. When they left to go join the war efforts, a massive crowd of dragons decided to host a party to send them off. He found out too late. By the time he made it to the party, there was a sea of dragons. He had no chance of catching up to them. They probably didn't even see him in the crowd anyways. In defeat, Bourbon remains in the back of the crowd, slinking away when he thought his departure wouldn't be noticed.

"Oh God, kinda please would you kill me now?"

He still remembers the way his heart dropped when he heard the news. They had fallen in combat. They were all alone when it happened. An Emperor found their body and fused with it. The other soldiers defeated the Emperor, and buried their body. Bourbon refused to believe it. He felt a pit in his stomach when he found out what actually happened. When he was out foraging, he thought he recognised the familiar shape of their horns, and the stunning colour of their mane. When he walked closer, he recognised traces of their scent, confirming his suspicions. After defeating the Emperor, the soldiers left what was left of their body there to rot. Bourbon gave them a proper burial, and planted some of their favourite flowers on top of the burial site. He was glad he didn't have a performance that night.

"Late at night in my room, lie awake, think of you and all your little dooms"

Bourbon finds himself unable to sleep again. He groans and stands up, stretching his stiff limbs. The moonlight shines down through a hole that he had carved in the abandoned cliffside den that he was currently calling home. He trudges over to a small chest that he has hidden in a corner of the den. He opens it up and pulls out a small bottle of a deep red liquid. He pulls out the cork and drinks the liquid. He walks back over to the pile of leaves and moss he is using as a bed and flops down into it, ignoring how the leaves poke at him in between his scales. Bourbon repositions himself to look up at the moon. As he stares at it, he remembers the imperial. He wishes he had known of their plans sooner. He would've stopped them, encouraged them to stay with him where it is safe. They were too kind and valiant for their own good.


"Last night I dreamt I still knew you"

When Bourbon finally finds himself drifting off to sleep, his dreams are haunted by the memories of the imperial. Their laugh, the way they smiled, and how he could always comb the crowd and pick them out, often flashing them a big smile when their eyes met. Bourbon wakes up feeling like he didn't sleep at all. His claws brush up against his face and he feels the remnants of tears running down his face. He brushes away the tears and gets up, pulling his cloak on before flying out of his den.

"I carved out a place in this world for two, but it's empty without you."

Bourbon had been flying for a while now. He had to visit that place one last time. He makes his way to the outskirts of Wispwillow Grove. He knew that as a Light dragon, the Lightweaver would not approve of him making a lair in the Shadow domain. However, he had always found himself fascinated by the glowing mushrooms and the dark shadowy trees that he found himself well camouflaged in. He jumped from tree to tree, trying to quietly make his way to his destination. Eventually, he found himself at the entrance of a freshly carved cave. Glowing mushrooms surrounded the entrance and dark grey brambles grew up the sides of the cave. Bourbon freezes up, starting to regret coming back to his cave. The cave he was going to ask the imperial to move into with him. The cave could easily fit him and the imperial, and left plenty of room for expansion if either of them wanted more rooms in their home. But he was foolish and never worked up the courage to ask them. His face contorts into a frown and he tells himself that they wouldn't have liked it anyways. He rolls a large boulder over to the entrance of the cave and pushes it in, blocking off the cave.

"I've got all this love I've got to keep to myself"

Bourbon tells himself that he can't let himself fall in love again. It only ever ends in pain and heartbreak. Had he shown them more of his love, maybe they would have stayed. Maybe he is cursed. Those he falls in love with are doomed to a tragic fate. He looks into his pearl and sees his reflection. When did he start crying again?

"All this effort to make it look effortless"

Bourbon carefully straightens his hat, the bells jingling softy as he does so. He lets out a sigh and stares into the mirror in front of him. He glances back down towards the picture, turning it the other way. He blinks away the tears he can feel forming and tries to steady his shaky hands enough for him to put on his makeup.

"Confront all the pain like a gift under the tree"

With a flash of movement, Bourbon punches the mirror, shattering it on impact. He ignores the throbbing pain in his hand as he pulls on his gloves. If anyone asked about the mirror he'd tell them he bumped it when he was practicing and wasn't able to stop its fall in time.

"Oh please, I can't be who you need me to be"

His last words to his partner's, no.. ex-partner's, words echo in his head. He only realised after they were gone that his words might have pushed them towards their decision. He wasn't a good partner. He didn't know how to show his love. Because of his career, he unintentionally pushed them away. They needed someone better than him. Someone who was better at expressing their emotions. Who knew all the right words to make them stay.

"I grind in the sunshine, grind in the rain"

The show had to go on. All of Sornieth doesn't need to know about his personal struggles. If he fails or messes up, the crowd will know. Bourbon devotes himself to practicing. Even if it gets lonely, nobody will bother him while he practices, lest they be the cause of him messing up. No matter what the weather is like, he practices. Nobody questions it when they see him still practicing in the pouring rain, outfit soaked and makeup running down his face.

"So real that I feel fake"

Bourbon is back in his dressing room. He looks into his cracked mirror, looking at his distorted reflection. He tries to fake a smile, but the distorted face looking back looks like its frowning. He looks into the mirror with dead eyes before getting an idea. He takes his makeup and carefully applies it around his mouth to look like a smile. That way, even if he isn't physically smiling, the crowd will not know the difference.

"One day every candle's gotta run out of wax"

It is time for the next show. Bourbon knows he's been pushing himself. He knows he should have eaten something before the show, or skipped drinking earlier that day, anything really. Bourbon steps out onto the stage, basking in the glowing lights. He tells himself to keep smiling, keep up the bravado. If he makes it though tonights show he can rest. Bourbon tries to ignore how tired he is. How burnt out and filled with grief he is. But the crowd doesn't know, nor will they ever know.

"One day no one will remember me when they look back"

Bourbon does his usual tricks, flipping and flying through the air. He knows that tonights show will be one that will be remembered. It won't be one for the history books, but none of his shows ever have been. He is just a performer. If he leaves there will be hundreds more to replace him. But that's ok, he is here in the moment doing what he loves. He keeps telling himself this. As long as he keeps doing what he loves that is all that matters, and he will be ok.

"I can't stop, can't stop till we catch all your ears though"

Bourbon can feel himself tiring. He scolds himself for not eating again, but he knows there isn't much left in the show. As he makes his final jump, he spreads his wings and lets the light catch off of them, causing them to glow a radiant purple. He can see the crowds eyes light up. He lands and stiffens his muscles, not wanting to fall over when he has the whole crowds' attention.

"Somewhere between Mike Tyson and Van Gogh"

The crowd erupts into cheers. Another great show! People compare Bourbon to great performers of the past, while others compare him to other well known figures in Sornieth. He smiles through it all, thanking them before leaving the stage.

"All this effort to make it look effortless"

He makes his way to his dressing room, locking the door behind him. He slides to the ground and sighs. As he tries to stand back up, his legs wobble and he falls back to the ground. Giving up on moving, he uses a slight bit of magic to drag his food crate over to him, grabbing his rations for the day and scarfing them down. Once he regains the strength to stand, he turns to look in the mirror.

"All this effort to make it look effortless"

Bourbon smears the makeup off his face, not caring if his gloves got dirty. He didn't know how much longer he could go on like this. He needed to find closure, but it was much easier to bottle up the grief and focus on performing.

"All this effort to make it look effortless"

Bourbon takes a second to compose himself. Chances are he would be dragged out for an encore, or perhaps he would have to meet with fans. He looks back into the broken mirror and reapplies his makeup. Maybe one day he would feel better, but the show has to go on.

Lineage

Foster > Me!