Unnamed

"Sorry, I'm Shadow Sparrow." He tucked his hands in the pockets of the Aster hoodie he wore.

She nodded. "I’m Peregrine, which you probably already knew. Apparently everybody knows," she added in a mumble. "I don’t need help, just... breakfast." She decided on this after seeing someone pass by with a delicious looking muffin—which later turned out to be the last muffin, HA IN YOUR FACE LIAM—and remembering she hadn’t eaten in... a long while.

"Well, nice to see you. Have a good day!"

She cringed. "Yeah, I’ll think about it." She wandered aimlessly away, doing just that.

"Okay." Shadow watched as Perry walked away.

She sighed in defeat and turned back around. "Aster has kitchens, doesn’t it? You hungry?"

He blinked a few times. "Yeah, I think they do, but I'm not exactly sure where..."

"An adventure, then." She started slowly walking away, glancing over her shoulder to see if he would follow.

Shadow smiled and started to follow her. He had a slight limp, but he still kept up with Perry. He looked a few years younger than her, but was almost as tall as Perry.

Perry gave him a tiny grin, which quickly slipped away. "Don’t read into it much, alright? I’m not the type of person who makes friends." She peered into the closest doorway—not a kitchen; she moved on, fidgeting with the long-sleeved purple shirt she had on. It was just slightly too small.

"What about there?" Shadow pointed down one direction that someone else walked away from with a cookie. Toby stared at the cookie like a maniac before devouring it like a starving child.

"I don’t care what room it is as long as I know he’s not in it." Perry changed course, and they reached the room in no time.

"Can we help you with anything?" One of the workers in the kitchen asked when they got there. The room was crowded with bubbling pots, sizzling pans, and workers bringing out food to the break room.

"Yes..." Perry was staring at something behind him. She snapped out of it. "Yes, we’re hungry." She pushed Shadow forward, which was her way of "letting" him do the talking.

"'Course you are. Why don't you just go to the front window next time? We have the cereal, waffles, pancakes, or eggs and bacon breakfast meals." He shook his head as if this happened often.

"Can I have some cereal?'' Shadow asked.

"Sure thing. What 'bout you?" He turned to Perry.

"Eggs and bacon," she said without hesitation. She’d never cared for cereal, and the farther she strayed from syrup the better.

"I'll be back in a minute." He went into the kitchen.

Perry sat at the nearest two-person table. She didn’t wait for Shadow this time; she seemed distracted.

He sat down across from her and searched her face for any feelings that may be showing on her face.

She slid a salt shaker back and forth across the table, batting it between her hands. Her face was blank—her face is almost always blank, unless she’s being snarky or in the absolute depths of despair—but her eyes told a different story. For all her harping on Florian about how his revealed just what he was thinking, she had never before considered what her own might say. And in this moment, the only way to describe the sheen in the them was "destitute."

Shadow looked down at the table. A few seconds later a woman brought out two trays and set them on the table. These people could work fast.

Perry's fried eggs and bacon were made into a smile on her plate, with scrambled eggs circling the smile. There was a glass of milk next to the plate, and on the other side of the plate was a folded piece of paper.

"Thanks," Perry muttered, frowning at her plate. As soon as the lady left, Perry pushed her eggs into one big blob, ruining the artwork—if it could even be called that. She then unfolded the little piece of paper with an attitude that seemed to say, "What now?"

Perry blinked at it once, then the tiny thing erupted into a proper bonfire. It lasted no more than a split-second, but it still elicited some screams and other shocked reactions. Perry ignored these, and went on with eating her food.

Shadow looked slightly alarmed, but he went back to eating his cereal. Someone walked up behind him and stared blankly at Perry.

"Hi." Anna said after a moment.

Perry made a show of gagging on her bacon before responding. "What are you doing here?"

Anna put her hands on her hips. "I work here." There was obvious pride in her voice.

This time Perry really did gag. She spit out the traitorous blob of egg (which was very gross, don’t worry), and scowled at Anna. "Please tell me that’s a joke."

"Nope, I'm cool now." She threw a bag at Perry. Inside was a pb&j sandwich. The bag was labeled, "knuckle sandwich."

Perry dropped the bag on the floor. "People here aren’t cool. They’re mostly childish, like that was."

"Sometimes it's fun to be childish." Anna looked at Shadow. "You really have a problem."

He looked sadly at his bowl of cereal. "I know..."

And you know what memory that brought to Perry’s mind. "You were right, Anna," she said abruptly, "the world is cruel. There’s no time to have fun."

Anna frowned at Perry. "Well, I got through it and—"

"And now you have five million servants that heed your wishes whenever you please, whenever you get as much as a bruise your mommy fixes it before you even feel the pain. You had what, two years in your life where everything felt hopeless, and now everything's delivered to you on a silver platter." Liam gave Perry a fake smile and Anna a glare as he passed them.

Perry stuck her tongue out at Liam, and slid her untouched glass of milk towards poor Shadow, who looked uncomfortable being trapped between the arguers. "You have servants?” she asked Anna.

Shadow nodded in thanks to Perry and accepted the milk.

"Well, I only have three that help me get ready, and clean up after me, and yeah, I have a few. My dad is a king of somewhere, and the President of the USA." Anna retrieved her sandwich, pulled up another chair, and sat down.

"Sounds like an invasion of personal space," Perry mumbled.

"No, it's nice." She unwrapped her sandwich. "Did you hear that my dad left? My mom has always been pretty rich, but I'll still moss my dad." She said all of this between bites of her sandwich. Shadow looked uncomfortable, as if he wanted to comfort Anna, but couldn't figure out how.

"That’s... unfortunate."

"Yeah, he left a note saying he had found his 'true love' again, and went off to get remarried or something..."

Perry snorted. "That’s ridiculous! How can someone be with one person for so long, then just decide they don’t like them anymore? There’s no such thing as true love anyway."

Anna glanced at Shadow. "Well, according to my dad this person was his first love, but he didn't know she was alive until now. I wonder how my mom must feel. Passed for her own sister."

"That—that just makes it worse."

"It does." She picked at the remains of her sandwich.

"I need to go." Shadow looked a little green in the face.

"You better have enjoyed that milk!" Anna yelled as he walked away.

"What’s wrong with him?" Perry asked as they watched him leave.

"He's technically lactose intolerant, but he has a addiction to milk." She tore up the pieces of bread left on her plates and shoved them into her mouth.

Perry chewed thoughtfully on her last piece of bacon. "Must stink to like something you can’t have, huh."

"I guess. Didn't your friend leave like my dad? Maybe we're more alike than we think."

"Us? Alike? Please, these are two completely different situations."

"Oh really, they both left with no intention of coming back, much less... still loving you. Isn't that how yours went?"

"No," she responded, though it wasn’t clear which part she was saying that to.

"Okay... Well, I should get back to work." Anna stood and prepared to leave.

"Anna..." Perry said quietly, "you really think he...? Nevermind, what would you know." She stood up as well.

Anna sighed. "That's what Liam said." She adjusted her purse and started to walk away.

Perry caught up with her. "Fine. Answer the question then, if you do know something."

Anna turned to Perry. "Well, I've had plenty of people leave, betray, and give up on me. My dad, Henry, and those are just two...."

Perry blinked at her for a moment. "I don’t know who Henry is," she settled on asking.

Anna grimaced at the mention of his name. "He betrayed me. That's all you need to know. My point is, I probably can understand, at least a little, what you're going through."

"I—I’m… having fun with my self denial, that’s all." She looked away and very intently studied the wall.

Anna looked at a nearby clock. "I should get to work, talk to you soon?"

Perry fidgeted nervously. "No… I might not be around for a while." She thought about it a little more, then, feeling as if her plans needed to be validated by at least one other person, she blurted, "Do you think he still likes me? Or was I really 'betrayed'?"

"Didn't he go to Firidi? Well, there's no coming back from there the same, and I speak from personal experience. There's always a chance he could come back though, and that will show whether or not he actually betrayed you specifically."

"I’m just wondering how he’d feel if I did something dumb," she muttered. "No, there’s certainly no coming back from there the same."

Anna nodded and continued to walk away.

"Well, goodbye." Perry sullenly called after her.

Nell walked past Perry and chuckled.

"What’s so funny about it, Nell?" Perry snapped at her.

Nell looked at Perry with a look of innocence. "Oh, nothing, I just had something on my mind." She said.

Perry was on the verge of tears at this point, trying very hard not to break in front of Nell of all people. She just shook her head.

Nell side-glanced at Perry. "I don't have to be a empath to know you've had a bad day. So, I'll leave you alone for now..." For once showing the smallest bit a sympathy Nell turned away from Perry and ordered some eggs.

"That’s all you people ever do," she whispered. Thinking out loud is dangerous, but of course it was unintentional.

"Fine then." Nell sat down across from Perry. "Want to talk?"

She begrudgingly sank into a chair. There was a very low chance that things could get worse than they’d already been, and even if they did... well, she’d survive somehow. "Just so you know, I still hate you."

Nell messed with her watch. "So, are you gonna get on with it?"

Perry folded her arms. "Do you know why he did this?"

"I do."

"Is it logical or dumb? Actually, knowing him, it’s probably both. Still answer that though."

"Yup, a little of both. Although, he forbade me to talk about it with anyone, but..."

"I... I don’t want to know unless he wants to tell me, but... I technically never asked, and I can’t really stop you if you decide say something."

"Yeah, I'll leave him to do that." Was all she said.

"Good. But... tell me one thing." She sighed. "It’s not an act of betrayal." She said it as more of a fact than a question, but her point still stood.

"Wouldn't it be either way?" She picked at the food on her tray of food that had just arrived.

"I don’t know." Perry rubbed her temples with her finger tips. "Everything’s so complicated these days."

"I couldn't say it any better."

"Well, what’s been going on with you lately?" It was a convenient change of subject, before Nell could pick on her for anything.

Nell gave up on her meal and looked at Perry. "Not much, just work... You?"

"Do you really have to ask?" she said, laughing bitterly.

Nell smiled sadly. "To see your reaction I did. He wanted me to ask."

"Well, for his information I—I don’t even know where to begin."

"Yeah, he wanted me to tell you that it was for the best. I told him to shut up."

"What’s for the best? All this?" She gestured vaguely around, indicating recent events in general.

Nell shook her head. "I have no idea, you need to ask him."

"Nell," she said quietly, "there are a hundred things I want to ask him."

"Well, do you have a phone or what?"

"That... that’s not all there is to it."

"I'm going to pretend to understand."

"I’m no good at conversation," she muttered.

Nell stretched. "You never were, Peregrine."

The Peregrine in question laid her head on the table. The words "I’m a terrible person" were muffled by her position.

Nell patted Perry awkwardly on the shoulder a few times. "You're better than most people here for sure."

"No... you don’t the half of it." Perry turned her head to the side, finding it difficult to breath when your nose is squished against the top of a table.

"Well, why don't you tell somebody?" Nell asked.

"You’re somebody, aren’t you? So, I’m a liar, I’m rude, I’m uncaring, and I’m 'too stubborn to be liked.' Do you think that about sums it up, or should I go on?" She sounded more like she was berating herself than purposely trying to bother Nell with her problems.

Nell shook her head again. "Sometimes lying is better than the truth..."

Perry sat up and looked down at her lap. "Not in my case." Her voice lowered to barely a whisper. "Rumors are nasty things, but they always start with a hint of the truth, don’t they?"

"Well, I guess.... You don't have anyone to depend on do you? That you know will be there, no matter what?"

"I took it for granted when I did. And if I manage to get it back, I won’t let it go this time." She spoke in a low, subdued voice, but that determined glint was in her eyes.

"Phillip will always want to help you, it's just... difficult to explain, but maybe he did. Maybe he did betray you, but he still wanted me to make sure you were okay. That should mean something, shouldn't it?"

"I shouldn’t need help though!" She burst out. "I should have been there when he needed help, but what was I doing? I don’t even know! Whatever I was so caught up in not to notice what was going on was so trivial that I can’t even remember it! What sort of friend am I to constantly need help but never offer it?" She pressed her lips together to keep anything more from slipping out.

"I—I don't know...." She seemed for the first time in her life, unsure of what to say.

"Exactly! I’m a horrible friend, and I aim to make amends for that whether he wants me to or not."

"Well, you're not really—it's just that—"

Liam passed their table. He dropped a key on the tabletop in front of Perry. It was black and had the Aster symbol engraved at the top.

Perry picked up the key and twirled it around in her hands. Her brows were knit together in confusion, and she stayed silent.

Liam rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "It's the key to your office."

She flicked it at his forehead (which it hit), and folded her arms as well. "Who says I want an office?"

Liam managed to catch it before it hit the ground, and glared at her as he rubbed his bruised forehead. "It's basically the only good thing that comes out of being black rubber-band ranked. Just wait until you see all the paperwork..." He set the key back on the table.

Perry pushed it over the edge of the tabletop just to annoy Liam, and it clattered to the floor. "What am I gonna do with an office?"

He picked it up and put it back on the table, just out of her reach. "Why should I care? It's yours now."

She glared at it as if she had telekinesis. Unfortunately, that was a skill she’d never put time into learning. "Where?"

"It's your office, why should I know?" He scoffed. "Why should I be the one delivering junk to people, what about the messenger boy?" He said that last part under his breath, barely audible.

"Boo-hoo." Perry muttered, stretching across the table to snatch the key.

"Boo-hoo you, always wallowing in self misery." Liam was now looking at something across the room.

"Self-caused misery, maybe." She made a face at him of a nature I won’t stoop to describe, for he wasn’t looking at her anyway.

"Good for you." He looked at Perry with disgust. "People these days." He shook his head.

Perry glanced at Nell and Liam both in turn. "I agree."

Liam sighed for a good five seconds. "You're so oblivious."

"Well duh," she grumbled.

"Well, why don't you do something about it?"

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't care, just something. You're getting really annoying, with all the, 'boo-hoo, my boyfriend left me a poorly written note,' and 'I'm going to cry myself to sleep now instead of dealing with it.' As Pringles said it, 'You used to be stubborn hide all your emotions behind it, but now....'"

Perry’s foot shot out and hit Liam’s left shin. "For your information," she started as he involuntarily grunted in pain, "I haven’t once 'cried myself to sleep.' That’s silly. And for another thing, I do plan to deal with it. I’m not some pathetic princess." Her gaze flicked to Nell for second with the thought that she was actually a princess... interesting.

Perry's chair seemed to wobble and one of the legs snapped off.

She toppled backwards with an "oof" and hastily got to her feet before Liam—or Nell, for that matter—could laugh; although, they probably would anyway.

The ashes of the chair leg laid on the ground. Nell laughed at the petty argument.

Perry shoved Nell’s abandoned platter of eggs in Liam’s face. It brought her no end of joy, little as she may have shown it.

The tray clattered to the floor and the entire room seemed to be quiet as the glass plate on it shattered at Liam's feet. Then there was the sound of someone in the crowded but otherwise silent room snapping a picture.

Liam's hands had multiple sparks darting around them. "You know what?" He wiped his face off with his sleeve. "I don't care." He turned to Perry, "I don't care that my life is so terrible I have to make fun of someone just to find some small amount of 'joy.' I don't care that Phillip betrayed you. And heck, I don't care about you, but I do care that Ember is a wretched person and anyone in their right mind who pledges their allegiance to her deserves to die."

"The feeling is mutual," Perry said icily, flames dancing in her eyes.

"Of course that's all you have to say. Welcome back to Peregrine being terrible at defending herself." He shook his head.

"What, am I supposed to feel sorry for you? Sorry that the only joy you get is from belittling me? I try, for once in my life, to not be 'too stubborn' and emotionless, and the only support I get is being told I’m acting like a child! Maybe I want to be liked, Liam. Maybe I want to be more honest, but you make both ideas very unappealing because of how unlikable you yourself are!" Her voice rose with each sentence, until probably the whole of H.Q. could hear her.

Liam glared at her. "Honest? Likeable? Why even try?" Much like Perry his voice rose with every word. "Maybe if you wanted support you should have tried to deserve it! And no, I don't CARE—" he slammed his fist on the table, causing Nell to jump, "—if YOU feel sorry for me! That's just the way the world works, isn't it?" The table burst into flames, black disgusting flames. Nell stood so fast her chair fell over.

"Why try? If I can thank you for one thing Liam, it’s that you’ve given me a taste of my own medicine. Maybe that’s why I try, so I’m not as awful as you are!" She kicked the remains of her legless chair at him. "Y’know, a few weeks ago I thought maybe, just maybe, you weren’t so bad as I originally thought, but now I know the truth. You’re just another crazy pyromaniac! Forget about having my help. I’ll find my own way to Firidi."

"Good, I don't need help from whoever you are." He looked at her with disgust. "And I thought you were nothing but a frightened child. Frightened of your past, your powers, and afraid of losing your friends. Or is it just 'friend' now? You know what Phillip did? He LEFT YOU! Do you know why? Because I do, she does," he gestured to Nell. "Why don't you? BECAUSE HE HAD NO INTENTION OF SEEING YOU AGAIN! Not because where he is, but because—"

"Oh, shut up." Riley emerged from the crowd.

Perry ignored Riley. "Of course I’m afraid of losing my friends! Any normal person would be! So that idiot should have considered what happened last time he left before he tried to ditch me again. You’re right, I am stubborn, and I’ll continue to be til the bitter end!"

"Good luck with that, it'll get you killed. Here's the truth: Phillip didn't leave because he had to, he wanted to be with his mother, happy? Just ask Nell."

Perry did look a little pale and taken aback, but to her credit, her voice was eerily calm when she turned to Nell. "Well, is that true?"

"I, uh, well...." Nell stared at the burning table and seemed unable to say much more.

Perry unclenched her fists and threw the Aster key into the flames. Her eyes flickered pure red for half a second before reverting to their normal color. "At least if I get killed there I won’t have to ever see you again," she told Liam. She glanced at Nell, and after a pause said, "I guess I asked for it after all."

She sedately left the room, disappearing in the direction of the library.

"Yet you don't try to fix it!" Liam called after her. She was too far away by now to hear but Riley was telling Liam something.

Perry didn’t slow her leisurely pace, choosing instead to ignore his comment. She strode down the hall with no true destination in mind; she just wanted to get away from him.

Perry heard the conversation in the break room start again, most of which was gossiping about the recent event. Riley caught up to Perry. "Hey!" she said when Perry didn't slow down.

"Hi," she said without looking back.

Riley walked next to her. "Please, hear me out."

"You’re standing right next to me. I can hear you just fine." She still didn’t stop walking though.

Riley sighed. "You're a good person. Just, jeez, Liam needs a break."

"He never had to help me. That’s his fault."

Riley stopped walking and sighed again. "Anyway, I have to go. Just, don't listen to anything he said."

"I’m not an idiot." Of course she was.

"I'll see you later Perry!" Riley called after her as she walked away.

"Don’t count on it," she tossed over her shoulder. "And don’t call me that!"

---

Phillip’s hand phone rang.

After a few seconds the phone was answered. "Yellow?" The word was followed by a drawn out yawn.

"Oh…." She sounded tired too, and a little surprised.

"Oh? Who's this?" He inquired.

There was a pause, as if the other person were trying to formulate a response. "It’s Perry…. Hi."

"Hi. And you know who I am because you called me..."

"Yes, I did." She sounded somewhat uncomfortable, who knows why.

"So, how are you?" There was a noise as if someone was readjusting their position.

"Confused. How are you?"

"I'm okay. So, why did you call?" He asked as if they both didn't already know the answer.

"Um…." she sighed. "To tell you something. And ask you something. And…." That was pretty much it, except that it wasn’t, of course.

"So... What is it?"

"Liam gave me something earlier, so that was interesting." It was to hard to tell what she was thinking from her tone.

"Wow, Liam... That's interesting."

"I can’t figure out why, hence the confused. That’s all." Phillip could almost hear the fake shrug in her voice.

"Ah, that really depends on what it was. What was it?" No point dodging the real question.

"I think you—you know what, there’s no point in this." That part seemed directed at herself. "Why did you send me this?" she mumbled.

"I—I didn't send you anything?" He sounded very confused.

"Nevermind, just thinking out loud." She changed the subject, "Is Firidi as bad as always?" She knew she didn’t have to ask. It definitely was.

"Well, it's Firidi. How's being a captain?"

She laughed bitterly. "Well, everyone hates us—me—us." She was shaking her head on the other end of the line. "It’s complicated."

"Well, it could be less complicated. So what did you manage to do while I was gone? It hasn't even been three weeks yet!"

"It could be, if I knew what all your crazy decisions were about." There was a thud and rustling sound through the phone. "I managed to capture Vladimir today, so… that was awful. And I’ve had enough of Liam to last two lifetimes."

He cleared his throat. "Well, it's good that you're okay. You are okay, right?"

"I… I’m okay." There was a slight hitch in her voice, barely perceivable, but there.

There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment. "Are you though? I didn't mean to leave so suddenly. It just came up, and—and I should have done so much more."

"I miss you," was her only response as her voice broke for a second.

"I... I do too." Those words were barely a whisper.

"It’s not your fault," she whispered back, "not entirely." She wanted to practice being as honest as possible. She knew she might need it soon.

"What? No, I mean, there may have been, but... Yeah, no, it is my fault."

"Okay, it’s your fault, but I should have noticed… something."

He was silent for a good five seconds. "You would have had to be looking very carefully. I mean who expects that? I should have just told you, but it's... complicated. I should have told you."

"You still could? I don’t want to make you, but I don’t want to lie either. I—I feel helpless, and I can’t stand it. There’s got to be something I can do for you. I mean, you can’t possibly be okay either."

"I want to tell you, but... I just can't. Well, I could, but I..."

She took a shaky breath. "I know how hard it is to tell people things, you know I do. And I’ll be here when you’re ready to tell me, Phillip. I’ll always be here." That last bit came out quietly, but came out nonetheless.

"What if I didn't have a reason?" He was the talking louder now. "What if I just came because I wanted to?"

She sighed. "I hope I know you well enough to know that’s not the case. And if it were the case… well, then I’d wonder why I still care about you so much."

He was silent for a few seconds. "That's a very good point."

"Yeah, I know. I… always make good points. Usually." It had sounded she was going to say something different, but decided against it.

"Usually? I don’t know what to do anymore. What do you define as the 'right choice'?"

"I guess it depends on the choice and who’s making it. I don’t know. There’s a thin line between right and wrong. Everything might as well be both in some way or another."

"Yeah, that's true.... I'm just done with everything right now, talk to you some other time?"

"Of course." There was a suspicious hint of certainty in her voice, and a tiny spot of anxiousness. "I’m sorry though, that probably didn’t help much."

"No, it was nice." There was a loud thud on his side of the phone. "I should go.... Oh, and Perry?"

"Yes?"

"You're a great friend, and none of this is your fault.''

"Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself." There was the old Perry; though, he could still feel the meaning behind the words.

"I'll see you soon." He hung up the phone.

He had only clues to an idea of how soon that would actually be.