Bodhi
(#29530271)
I am the pilot!
Familiar
Duskthicket Bonepicker
Click or tap to view this dragon in Predict Morphology.
Energy: 0/50
This dragon’s natural inborn element is Wind.
Male Fae
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Personal Style
Apparel
Skin
Scene
Measurements
Length
1.33 m
Wingspan
0.79 m
Weight
0.83 kg
Genetics
Mist
Giraffe
Giraffe
Bubblegum
Toxin
Toxin
Ruby
Scales
Scales
Hatchday
Breed
Eye Type
Level 1 Fae
EXP: 0 / 245
STR
5
AGI
8
DEF
5
QCK
6
INT
8
VIT
5
MND
8
Lineage
Parents
- none
Offspring
- none
Biography
Dear Bill,
You wrote me a letter and it felt like a good idea. You're right about me, I do like writing things down a lot, it's cathartic. And... Writing the will helped give me an anchor before, maybe this will do the same.
Bill it's so hard. Focusing, breathing, living... The bond didn't just break it ripped, like a cable set in concrete, pulling chunks of its host with it. I think a bit of my soul was pulled after you; I zone out and people need to say things a few times to pull my mind back. If there is a fragment of my soul with you, I'm sorry. He's probably terrible company. Or maybe he's my happiness and is comforting to you, I don't know. I know the majority of my soul has lost all light though.
I know what you mean now about all the light in the galaxy just.... Going out. I get it. See? Promised you you weren't crazy. I miss you so much. I can't... Can't put it into words. I'll never be able to put it into words. But have you ever heard that term 'lunatic grief?' (Who am I kidding, you're omniscient, course you do) Well that's as close as I can get to describing it. I hope this is even legible after I get through it, I'm crying so hard. Can you tell? I'm going to give the whole journal water damage.
You know... Even though... I'm so, so scared of dying again.... I still wish it was me rather than you. I... I don't know. I once read a story of a mother who, in a house fire, had to choose between her newborn baby and her college student. She picked the eldest because he'd become hers, in a way; he'd grown and worked so hard and they'd had all this time to grow close. You know what I'm saying? It was called a 'choiceless choice,' where she had to pick between two heartbreaks.
And I'd pick you Bill. You went through your long, long life feared and hated as this villain. You deserve love for at least the same duration of time. My life has been just a flicker of time compared to yours. After all, who would cut down a redwood just to save a sapling? I know you would, Bill. You would. But I just...
I just want you to be happy! You make me too happy for words but I feel I'll never ever fix the hurt inside you no matter how hard I try. I... I'm trying to bring you back, Bill. I'm working on it. You'd be disappointed in me, not sleeping or eating, but I can't. I have to do this.
But... Do you even want to come back? Paz and I... We were doing some reading on depression to try and help you.... Did... Did you ever want to die, Bill? Do you want to stay gone? Will you be mad if I drag you back? Is it selfish to want to do that if living was painful for you?
It's painful for me now. Every breath feels like those tendrils have taken up residence in my chest. Maybe I should get a drink. I'll be right back, Bill, I won't get into any trouble I promise.
Okay I'm back with an extra caffeine Pitt Cola. Drinking is the one thing I can do okay. Everything else mainly just hurts. Especially sleeping. I forgot how hard sleeping alone was. I forgot and it's only been like a few weeks. And showers. I can only remember those memories I saw when you were sick and how you felt, sitting and waiting for the water to warm up. I like baths better now. They're warm. Nothing can replace your warmth though.
It's hurting everyone, really. Is this what they were like when I was gone? It means they love you, I know that....Did they love me this much too?
I still wear your waistcoat everywhere. Sometimes even your suitcoat. And your pendant, though it's gone cold as ice. I've tried warming it in my hands but it doesn't work. Do you feel it anyways? I... I admit when I'm feeling my worst I kiss it and that calms me down when I'm panicking. If you CAN feel it I bet that's really weird for you, sorry.
I tried to get to your little pocket dimension, by the way, to see if you were there. It didn't work.
By the way, your body was really.... Beat up. You'll have a lot of scars. We'll match. I'm sorry...
And if you need to talk about it, please, please talk to me. Don't shut me out. I understand, more than anyone else in the world, what you went through. If you don't remember, I was there the whole time, talking to you and sending you love over the bond. I know we said the bond wasn't really important because we'd always stick together anyways, but it was so precious at that moment. You weren't truly alone, I was with you the whole time. I tried to comfort you and much as I could. I stole some of your pain... And I could feel everything, Bill. I mean, immediately after each cut the pain dulled but still. I knew you still felt everything and that was pain in my soul beyond reason. Stanford offered me painkillers. I refused them. You'd be so mad at me, Bill, I refused. All I could remember was how muddy you felt when I was dying and the painkillers were in your system. I didn't want to leave you, Bill. I wanted to talk to you over the bond and keep you company because you don't deserve to die alone. You don't deserve to die at all, but if you had to, at least you could do it within my words if not my arms. Please understand.
Because I love you. More than life itself. I don't know what to do without you, I'm lost, I'm..........
Sorry. I went catatonic there again. Hope the ink splotches aren't too bad.
I'll see you soon, I promise I'll do this. I hope you want me to.
Here's a little doodle of us. I can still draw you perfectly, picture you perfectly in my head. Hopefully I'll never lose that.
[a small image has been drawn nearby of the two of them, cheek to cheek, grinning, like there was a camera they were smiling at; the eyes seem alive, almost; they're the only thing with added color; Dipper actually has drawn his birthmark on his forehead]
All my love, my amazing best friend, my demon, my guardian, my platonic soulmate (those have to exist). Everything I've got.
~Your Mason
[the combined pine tree and triangle eye symbol is sketched next to his name]
[added in a scrawl]
BILL I FOUND A BREAKTHROUGH I'll see you again at dawn I'm so excited I'm having something like a panic attack from excitement... I gotta go prepare, love you, bye!
You wrote me a letter and it felt like a good idea. You're right about me, I do like writing things down a lot, it's cathartic. And... Writing the will helped give me an anchor before, maybe this will do the same.
Bill it's so hard. Focusing, breathing, living... The bond didn't just break it ripped, like a cable set in concrete, pulling chunks of its host with it. I think a bit of my soul was pulled after you; I zone out and people need to say things a few times to pull my mind back. If there is a fragment of my soul with you, I'm sorry. He's probably terrible company. Or maybe he's my happiness and is comforting to you, I don't know. I know the majority of my soul has lost all light though.
I know what you mean now about all the light in the galaxy just.... Going out. I get it. See? Promised you you weren't crazy. I miss you so much. I can't... Can't put it into words. I'll never be able to put it into words. But have you ever heard that term 'lunatic grief?' (Who am I kidding, you're omniscient, course you do) Well that's as close as I can get to describing it. I hope this is even legible after I get through it, I'm crying so hard. Can you tell? I'm going to give the whole journal water damage.
You know... Even though... I'm so, so scared of dying again.... I still wish it was me rather than you. I... I don't know. I once read a story of a mother who, in a house fire, had to choose between her newborn baby and her college student. She picked the eldest because he'd become hers, in a way; he'd grown and worked so hard and they'd had all this time to grow close. You know what I'm saying? It was called a 'choiceless choice,' where she had to pick between two heartbreaks.
And I'd pick you Bill. You went through your long, long life feared and hated as this villain. You deserve love for at least the same duration of time. My life has been just a flicker of time compared to yours. After all, who would cut down a redwood just to save a sapling? I know you would, Bill. You would. But I just...
I just want you to be happy! You make me too happy for words but I feel I'll never ever fix the hurt inside you no matter how hard I try. I... I'm trying to bring you back, Bill. I'm working on it. You'd be disappointed in me, not sleeping or eating, but I can't. I have to do this.
But... Do you even want to come back? Paz and I... We were doing some reading on depression to try and help you.... Did... Did you ever want to die, Bill? Do you want to stay gone? Will you be mad if I drag you back? Is it selfish to want to do that if living was painful for you?
It's painful for me now. Every breath feels like those tendrils have taken up residence in my chest. Maybe I should get a drink. I'll be right back, Bill, I won't get into any trouble I promise.
Okay I'm back with an extra caffeine Pitt Cola. Drinking is the one thing I can do okay. Everything else mainly just hurts. Especially sleeping. I forgot how hard sleeping alone was. I forgot and it's only been like a few weeks. And showers. I can only remember those memories I saw when you were sick and how you felt, sitting and waiting for the water to warm up. I like baths better now. They're warm. Nothing can replace your warmth though.
It's hurting everyone, really. Is this what they were like when I was gone? It means they love you, I know that....
I still wear your waistcoat everywhere. Sometimes even your suitcoat. And your pendant, though it's gone cold as ice. I've tried warming it in my hands but it doesn't work. Do you feel it anyways? I... I admit when I'm feeling my worst I kiss it and that calms me down when I'm panicking. If you CAN feel it I bet that's really weird for you, sorry.
I tried to get to your little pocket dimension, by the way, to see if you were there. It didn't work.
By the way, your body was really.... Beat up. You'll have a lot of scars. We'll match. I'm sorry...
And if you need to talk about it, please, please talk to me. Don't shut me out. I understand, more than anyone else in the world, what you went through. If you don't remember, I was there the whole time, talking to you and sending you love over the bond. I know we said the bond wasn't really important because we'd always stick together anyways, but it was so precious at that moment. You weren't truly alone, I was with you the whole time. I tried to comfort you and much as I could. I stole some of your pain... And I could feel everything, Bill. I mean, immediately after each cut the pain dulled but still. I knew you still felt everything and that was pain in my soul beyond reason. Stanford offered me painkillers. I refused them. You'd be so mad at me, Bill, I refused. All I could remember was how muddy you felt when I was dying and the painkillers were in your system. I didn't want to leave you, Bill. I wanted to talk to you over the bond and keep you company because you don't deserve to die alone. You don't deserve to die at all, but if you had to, at least you could do it within my words if not my arms. Please understand.
Because I love you. More than life itself. I don't know what to do without you, I'm lost, I'm..........
Sorry. I went catatonic there again. Hope the ink splotches aren't too bad.
I'll see you soon, I promise I'll do this. I hope you want me to.
Here's a little doodle of us. I can still draw you perfectly, picture you perfectly in my head. Hopefully I'll never lose that.
[a small image has been drawn nearby of the two of them, cheek to cheek, grinning, like there was a camera they were smiling at; the eyes seem alive, almost; they're the only thing with added color; Dipper actually has drawn his birthmark on his forehead]
All my love, my amazing best friend, my demon, my guardian, my platonic soulmate (those have to exist). Everything I've got.
~Your Mason
[the combined pine tree and triangle eye symbol is sketched next to his name]
[added in a scrawl]
BILL I FOUND A BREAKTHROUGH I'll see you again at dawn I'm so excited I'm having something like a panic attack from excitement... I gotta go prepare, love you, bye!
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