Thranduil

To understand while I was so excited to be interviewing Thranduil, you should first know that his name alludes to a certain EPIC SAGA of FIST-PUMPING, DWARF-TOSSING and MOUNTAIN-CLIMBING. It's a story MANLY ENOUGH TO MAKE EVEN PLAIN GOLD RINGS BROTALLY MANSOME - and Thranduil was named after a BRO WITH SO MUCH SWAG, HE'S LITERALLY ON AN ELK.

So, as you can imagine, I expected a truly MANLY MAN to enter the small room I had set up for the interview. But Thranduil didn't do that - HE CAME IN THROUGH A WALL, RIDING ON HIS ELK FAMILIAR AND BRANDISHING HIS SWORD LIKE A BOSS. And not only does he ride an Elk whenever possible - he also wears the horns of another one on his head at all times, thus MANSTANTLY REMINDING YOU THAT HE OWNS AN ELK, EVEN WHEN THE ELK IS NOT IN THE ROOM.

Dirt itself is TOO SCARED cling to this BRO-LORD OF STARLIGHT for fear of what might happen if they MANGERED A MAN SO MANLY, HIS WHOLE ACCENT IS DEDICATED TO HIS TITLE. Unlike many not-quite-so-manly accents, which cover parts of the dragon, this one is semi-transparent in most areas, thus ALLOWING THRANDUIL'S EXTREME MANLINESS TO SHINE THROUGH AT ALL TIMES FOR MAXIMAN SWOON FACTOR. His MANPPAREL follows suite for the most part - what there is tends to cover as little of the FINE MAN HIMSELF as possible whilst adding to his GENERAL BRONESS. As Thranduil was MOAR THAN MANCREDIBLE in the first place, with his DOUBLE-COOL ICE complimenting his white primary IN A REALLY MANLY WAY, I wasn't surprised to hear that when he RIDES HIS ELK INTO A BAR in search of A GOOD BRAWL, half the occupants swoon without a fight.

- Manly McBro