BasilDay's Clan

Item #: Basil
Object Class: Keter Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: Large room with window if possible. Cameras should be present. Books are useful when attempting to pasify.
Description: Appears to be a reality bender. Though, we aren't sure as it has most likely 'Bent Reality' to make us forget.
Addendum: "We need a new dimension."


Ways to keep your sanity:

1. sit in parked a car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars and see if they slow down
2. page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice
3. every time someone asks you to do something ask them if they want fries with that
4. put a paper bin on your desk and label it "in"
5. order a diet water whenever you go out to eat-- with a serious face
6. specify that your drive-through order is "to go"
7. skip rather than walk
8. don't use any punctuation
9. sing along at the opera
10. five days in advanced tell your friends you cant go to their party because you aren't in the mood
11. have your friends address you by your wrestling name, rock bottom
12. when money comes out of the cash machine scream "i won, i won!"
13.when leaving the zoo, start running toward the car park screaming "run for your lives, they're loose!"
14. find a good parking spot at the mall during rush hour and park in it with your reverse lights on
15. Anytime someone asks you 'why' reply with 'because im batman'
16. Look at see through glass and when someone is on the other side shout "OH MY GOD, I'M HIDEOUS!"
17. Bring a big chair into the elevator facing away from the door and when someone walks in, dramatically turn and say 'we've been expecting you.'
18. Walk up to someone, hand them a potato, look them in the eyes and deadpan 'with great power, comes great responsibility.' Walk away.
19. Call someone to tell them you can't talk right now.
20. Point at someone and shout "You're one of them!" Run and pretend to trip. Crawl away slowly.
22. Buy a donut and complain that there's a hole in it.
23. Put Mayonnaise in a bowl, freeze it, and tell your friend it's ice cream.
24. Put up a "Lost Dog" poster with a picture of a cat on it.
25. In a public toilet, pass a note under the door next to you saying, "They're onto us. We need to go."
26. If anyone asks you a question, answer with "Sorry, that's classified."
27.. put this on your page and make someone else smile