Event 38
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REVELATION AND GRIEF
Jenssen and Leonid have a long-overdue chat about the state of the clan--and their relationship.
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"Does it have to be
tonight? I'm really tired, Leo..."
"Come on. I know you're stalling." Leonid looked over his shoulder, giving her a slight frown. "You promised. Remember?"
Jenssen groaned softly, and nodded: this was what she had agreed to do. She was following Leonid out of the cave, speaking in hushed whispers while they went to go on their walk. Something glinted slightly on the landing platform at the den's exit, catching her eye, but only for a moment. "I just don't think it's a good idea to be leaving Envoy alone right now," she pointed out. "The way Shroren attacked her was so... out of the
blue."
"Don't worry," Leonid replied. "I asked Amanzo to stay in her cave with her tonight. He's a really light sleeper: if someone tries to sneak in, he'll notice."
Jenssen didn't have a retort for that one... that was actually really smart. Leonid seemed like he was getting more clever every day, and that was making it harder for Jenssen to win arguments with him. She wanted to be the one who was right for once! Was that really so hard to-
Her thoughts were suddenly cut off as a sharp pain went up the back of her front right talon. "
Ow!" she yelped, jumping back instantly.
Leonid tensed, and whirled around right away. "What? What happened!?" he exclaimed in a hushed voice. Jenssen didn't have a reply. It felt like a
snake had bitten her: she clutched the wrist of her talon as she sat back on her haunches, trying to see what had just hurt her... "Oh," Leonid sighed. "Shoot... I'm
so sorry." he bent down and picked something off of the floor, which shone slightly in the moonlight again. It had a straight, sharp blade that was about the right size for Jenssen to wield. The Guardian made an irritated growl. "I asked Apt to put this knife away... Is your talon okay?"
"It's fine," Jenssen muttered, standing back on all fours. "I can just bandage it."
A few minutes later, Jenssen had wrapped the back of her talon to stop the bleeding, and Leonid had placed the knife on top of a table for safety, rather than leaving it out on the ground for somebody to bump into again. After that, they were on their way--but Jenssen noticed how the Guardian was sticking closer to her than he had been before. She didn't complain... it actually made her feel a little bit safer, as well.
They walked out a ways in the gorge, before both of them agreed to fly up and land in the flats that led into the Charged Barrens to the east. The sky was cloudy, but sparsely so: light from the moon and stars managed to shine through, while the stronger regions of the eternal thunderstorm had receded back towards the barrens. There the sky was decorated with distant flashes of lightning, dimmed by the thick grey clouds. The dark sand dunes loomed on the horizon, occasionally flashing to life with earth-bound arcs of electricity that raced through them.
Here, the two of them ambled quietly, until Leonid finally spoke up first. "I feel like you're anxious," he said suddenly. "I mean... you were the exact same way when we were trying to figure out what Chuillyon was up to, with the whole marble and everything." He turned to her, his pace slowing down slightly. "You actually seemed pretty happy for a while. But ... what changed?"
Jenssen came to a stop as well, looking up into Leonid's eyes for a moment. Her gaze fell quickly, though, and she sat down. "Nothing changed," she admitted. "I've- been losing my mind this whole time."
She heard something shift, and her ears raised slightly. She looked, and she saw Leonid settle down in front of her, laying on his chest and putting his front talons on top of one another. His head was level with hers. "I know how you feel. We've all been dealing with a lot of really scary...
stuff. But it's getting to you worse than anybody else, except Amanzo." He tilted his head. A few seconds of silence passed, but when Jenssen said nothing, he continued. "You said you know things that you're scared to tell me, like how I was scared to tell you about the eggs. But I made a bad choice, not telling you... because it just made me even more afraid about how it'd make you feel."
Jenssen hung her head, shaking it slowly. "This isn't like that. It won't just make you feel sad or stressed." She briefly glanced up again. "It'll hurt you."
Leonid looked at her sadly for a moment. "Jenssen... look at me." She willed herself to look, even though she wished she could hunch over and disappear. A broken smile showed just slightly on his face. "I've lost three eggs that were supposed to be my kids. I've almost died, and even worse, almost watched
you die." He took a deep breath, which came out with a shaky exhale. "And I still remember that day when Chuillyon left us alone: when Amanzo ran outside, and we had to save him from storm seekers. And then when we came back, and when we saw Aguistin and his little Spiral sister... both of them, dead." He sat up, and he brought himself to raise his head. "But I'm still here and I'm still fighting. I'm still trying to keep everyone alive and safe--no matter how many times I mess it up." The Guardian wiped away a tear. Then, he looked back down at her with a soft chuckle. "Do you really think- a little serving of the truth is going to hurt me?"
Seeing Leonid begin to get emotional, Jenssen couldn't help the lump in her throat or the pounding of her heart either. "Well... what if I told you..." She stood straighter, too, trying to steel herself as she spoke.
"Chuillyon's not gone, and
I might die soon instead?"
Leonid froze. His wings shuddered, and the spines on his chest and legs flared briefly. He looked horrified. "What..?"
Jenssen slinked back down almost immediately. Her wings hung loosely at her sides. "You wanted me to tell the truth, right? It's the vision I didn't want to tell you about," she said. "The night before the harpies attacked. It's the same one I've been getting since more than a month ago... when Chuillyon was still alive."
Realization glowed in the Guardian's eyes. He looked past Jenssen, out at the dunes that were miles ahead. "The Charged Barrens," he whispered. "Marching out there, coming to a stop... then digging something up."
"Digging to put something
in," Jenssen corrected. "I never see us get to the bottom and pull anything out: the hole's empty. And Chuillyon was there, too, in the first vision; and I'm still seeing him there in this vision, every time I look at the clouds. I'm still seeing him
now."
"But... but that doesn't make any sense! He's dead!" Leonid looked frantic now, looking over his shoulders as if he were afraid something was sneaking up on them. "How can he still be..? How- He's going to
kill you?"
"Don't you see why I didn't want to tell you any of this?" asked Jenssen. "It doesn't make any sense, but I know it's true." It felt like an ice-cold spider was crawling down her back as she spoke grimly. "A cloud-vision's never been wrong unless we stopped it from happening. I only know it has to do with the shade magic, but somehow... he's going to use it to come back."
Leonid was silent for a few moments. Jenssen felt increasingly worried the longer he stayed quiet, but just before she spoke up, he finally said something. "Heh... you know what's funny?" He laughed quietly; tearfully. "I actually wish you told me sooner. 'Cause... maybe we missed the chance to do something about it already." A gaping hole felt like it opened up in Jenssen's chest as Leonid's voice grew weaker. It pulled her in, and soon she felt like she was falling, all over again... down, down, down... "Maybe you keep seeing it because it's impossible to dodge it now. And, no matter what we do--we're still going to end up there. Digging our own graves."
Jenssen slowly collapsed, crumpling to the ground, where she hid her head underneath her wings. Her eyes stung with tears as emotions overwhelmed her, but she wouldn't let herself cry. She was
sick of crying. All she wanted was for this to end, like she was waking up from a bad dream. She could imagine waking up next to her father, taking her glistening white pearl up in her talons, and flying for home somewhere in the Viridian Labyrinth... like all of this was a piece of her wild imagination that needed to be controlled.
She felt something touch her softly, and she realized that it was Leonid, who was scooping her up in his talons. She didn't try to resist, allowing the Guardian to pick her up and then place her on his shoulder. He had no words, and Jenssen didn't either: for a few minutes, they just sat in mournful silence.
Jenssen remembered the first time they'd embraced each other. The four months that passed felt like years, but the cloudy memory of it was still in her mind. They held each other like this, weeping for the death of Aguistin and his sister, who they got to give a name. But Leonid had sworn to her, too, that he would give up his life for her if they found themselves in mortal danger.
Now, with Jenssen's secret of the vision being out, was that time beginning to draw near?
"Leo... do you think we're going to die?"
Leonid didn't have an answer. She felt the side of his head rest on her back, his silence betrayed by a long, deep sigh. "I don't know," he finally whispered. "There's always been a way to stop the bad things you see... but this one's been here for so long, I- I just don't know."
That made Jenssen's heart stop up a little more. She had no idea either, if the end of something was drawing near--but that made her realize that there was something else she wanted to say. It had bounced in and out of her mind over the weeks and months, and she'd come close to saying it once or twice before, but something stopped her every time. She kept thinking it 'wasn't the right time yet' or 'I need to wait until it's peaceful,' but knowing that time could be running out now; that they might never see that peaceful moment...
"Leo?"
A brief moment of silence again, before Leonid replied. "Yeah?"
"Can I tell you something else too?"
The Guardian rumbled with a quiet, sad laugh. "Well... I guess I did say I want to know the tru-"
"I love you."
Leonid was shocked into silence again. Jenssen felt his weight shift, and then she was being held in his arms instead of up against his shoulder. He stared down at her; and when lightning would briefly flash and illuminate his face, she saw a shocked look in his eyes.
"There," she continued. "I said it. I don't know how long before Chuillyon comes back, somehow--but if we- don't make it... then I want you to know the truth before it's over. You
deserve the truth." Her eyes fell from Leonid's, a feeling of shame settling on her. "Sorry. If it's- not what you wanted to hear."
For a moment, the Guardian was transfixed. He set Jenssen down slowly, blinking down at his own two talons in surprise and wonder. His mouth opened a couple times as he tried to think of what to say... Jenssen waited anxiously in the meantime, trying to quell her thoughts that this was a bad idea. "I... well, I- didn't expect
that," he finally remarked. After a moment, he turned serious again, taking a breath. "I- I'm, very happy for that, Jenssen. And... well, I've got to
say that you're not alone. I love you too." He sat awkwardly for a moment, all of his spined fans flared out. Were his cheeks red..? "But Iiiiii... uh. I don't really know
how."
Jenssen's heart sank. "I don't think that was the right way to say something back," she muttered. Was that really it? Did she just say that to Leonid, under the threat if impending doom, only to get immediately slapped in the face?
"N-no no no!" Leonid cried. "I'm trying to say--auugh..." And all of a sudden, Leonid's speech went supersonic. "T-the point I'm trying to make is, I
also love you very much and totally want to be close to you for the rest of my life--I mean I would anyway, I'd never leave you all alone--but- but it makes me worried too, because I don't know how I
feel about that!" He tried desperately to piece it all together, his wings flicking in and out in a fervent rush. "Like, do I love you back like Selene and Shroren love each other, or is it like what Amanzo and Amou had as a brother and sister..? Oh it's just
really confusing--do you know what I mean? Like, do you get- what I'm... Jenssen, hey..."
She'd already turned and walked away, feeling more embarrassed and disappointed than she'd ever felt in her life.
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Out-of-lore summary:
Ohh, Leonid. Nice job messing up a love confession right after learning that your old mentor is coming back from the dead...
No kingdomlocke gameplay today. This is all lore writing, but it helps lead into the next kingdomlocke piece!
By the way: I've noticed that this thread has picked up a few more followers lately. I'm super grateful that you are all here sharing this experience with me! This is just a reminder that if you would like to be added to the pinglist below, I do have one and am happy to add you.
As always, thanks for reading!
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Put simply though, Chuillyon has created something even more powerful than himself by tampering with the Shade and its null magic.