i hate to vent here but it feels nice to type somewere. recently my life has been living hell. i lost allot of my family thanks to my parents devorce. my moms an alcaholic and has lost interest in my sister and i when we were like middle schoolers like we were no longer fun. she finally abandon me being the youngest just turned 17. my sister is an adult so its ok. it hurts allot because its like the past with my family never even mattered. like all the holidays spent together were nothing. its like i never exist, im alone. i have to build something of a family to fill the void. my sister has a boyfriend and has started building something. its like im not here. i have to build something. but i feel alone. my mother has left without a bad feeling like she never even cared. i realized how much of a messed up childhood i had and im glad i no longer have to live in fear. but its that yearning for a family that gets me. the yearning to be loved and accepted. a place to call home. it hurts now but it fills me with determination to follow my passion in art and create something. create a life and a future without pain. ill find hope and ill try my best now. everyone leaves me behind but ill find a future ill create joy and happiness. one day... it feels like every bone in my body is breaking with my heart. but ill stay strong. and turn my pain to kindness for others.
i hate to vent here but it feels nice to type somewere. recently my life has been living hell. i lost allot of my family thanks to my parents devorce. my moms an alcaholic and has lost interest in my sister and i when we were like middle schoolers like we were no longer fun. she finally abandon me being the youngest just turned 17. my sister is an adult so its ok. it hurts allot because its like the past with my family never even mattered. like all the holidays spent together were nothing. its like i never exist, im alone. i have to build something of a family to fill the void. my sister has a boyfriend and has started building something. its like im not here. i have to build something. but i feel alone. my mother has left without a bad feeling like she never even cared. i realized how much of a messed up childhood i had and im glad i no longer have to live in fear. but its that yearning for a family that gets me. the yearning to be loved and accepted. a place to call home. it hurts now but it fills me with determination to follow my passion in art and create something. create a life and a future without pain. ill find hope and ill try my best now. everyone leaves me behind but ill find a future ill create joy and happiness. one day... it feels like every bone in my body is breaking with my heart. but ill stay strong. and turn my pain to kindness for others.
I find it amazing that you're so driven and determined to turn a crappy situation into something good. I don't know what I would do in your situation :( It's absolutely ok to vent here and it's definitely good to do that once in a while. Best of luck!
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FrostCat7 I'm really sorry for everything. It sounds like a lot of really horrible stuff is happening to you. My parents are divorced too, and while my life since then has been really good, it has had an impact on me. I can't imagine what it's like to go through that and then be abandoned by one parent. I'm sure that attacks your sense of self-worth. I really hope you find someone who treats you like I know you should be treated, and who sees your worth. I know I can't do much from this side of the screen, but I hope you know that there are people who love you, even if some times it doesn't seem like it. If you ever need to talk, please PM me. I am really good at listening :)
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FrostCat7 I'm really sorry for everything. It sounds like a lot of really horrible stuff is happening to you. My parents are divorced too, and while my life since then has been really good, it has had an impact on me. I can't imagine what it's like to go through that and then be abandoned by one parent. I'm sure that attacks your sense of self-worth. I really hope you find someone who treats you like I know you should be treated, and who sees your worth. I know I can't do much from this side of the screen, but I hope you know that there are people who love you, even if some times it doesn't seem like it. If you ever need to talk, please PM me. I am really good at listening :)
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Caught between the mundanely awkward and the existentially impossible.
-Alice Isn't Dead, Part 2, chapter 4, 11:55
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