General Discussion

hey guys :) like it says on the tin, i just got hired for my first job ever a couple days ago and im heading into my first shift in under a week - im really excited and nervous since ive been hoping to get this job for months but also have no idea the processes you have to go thru for typical business stuff

im wondering on any advice that could be shared for coping/preparing for my first shift? im generally pretty shy and introverted around other people alongside being autistic and im hoping to get advice on how to get along with coworkers that are all at least 3 years older than me?? thanks!!!!!!!!!!

Congrats!
This may be flavored by my *ahem* experiences, so don't let my vibes ruin your excitement lol. I'm sure you're going to do great and it's going to be okay.

1. Don't tell anyone (especially your boss) what you're going to be doing on your days off, they may guilt you into coming there "Because you'd be home anyway". If they pressure you for answers anyway, visiting family or traveling to the nearest large city are good default answers every single time.

2. If the job is the kind where you stand/walk a lot, bring an extra change of clean socks to switch into mid-shift on your break. It changes everything.

3. If you get overwhelmed/overstimulated/need something to focus on so the time passes by faster, bring chapstick with you. I can't explain why, but it helped me a bunch, because it created a "diversion" in the day, like sensory enrichment.
If chapstick feels bad to wear, hand lotion, chewing gum, tiny candies, or an accessory to fiddle with are good alternatives.

Can't help with the social stuff, because I'm absolutely hopeless with that, I'm sorry :')

Just my personal opinions here:

1) Be kind and polite, but not overly friendly. Unfortunately nowadays people (both bosses and coworkers alike), tend to really take advantage of people they deem easy enough to step over. So, while still being polite, just make sure not to put your guard down for people. IMHO, jobs are NOT the right place where people should try and make friends. You go there to work and then you go back to your life.

2) Do not stand for any injustice. If they ask you to do things that are not in your job description, point it out! If they ask you to work more hours than agreed, even with extra pay, do not!

3) Just don't be an overachiever, do exactly what they hired you to do and don't try too much to please them. This ties well with both statements above. People can and will take advantage of somebody whos too eager to work and go above and beyond.

Heres a few words of wisdom from someone who's now on their second job.

Everything the people above me have said is really sound advice. Heres a few tips from another introvert.

1. To add to Sheeptoken's advice about friends, don't date your coworkers either. I don't know if thats a normal thing people do, but I definitely wouldn't. I almost dated a guy from my first job and things were hot and cold between us. It was awkward coming in during those cold moments and we wouldn't make contact. It's why the phrase "don't poop where you eat" exists.

2. You will be written up or receive disciplinary action at some point. It doesn't matter if you're the best worker in the whole dang world. You will be written up. Don't beat yourself up over it. See it as a learning opportunity and move on. Don't dwell on it.

3. Be civil to your coworkers, obviously. It's okay to be friendly with them. Relationships with your coworkers will make or break shifts. Your relationship with them should be casual. Just be aware that they likely won't last long. I assume you're working a low wage, starter job. Jobs like these tend to have people come and go, and people quit, or they get fired. Try not to hold too much attachment.

4. You're gonna have rude people. Rude coworkers. Rude customers. Maybe even a rude boss. Try not to let them bring you down. Its easier said than done. At best, just smile and nod. I worked in a buffet for my first job, and people were animals.

I had a regular at that job that we called the "Trunchbull." She looked just like he trunchbull from matilda except with white hair. She was picky with her reward points, bullied the manager once into giving her a free meal, and one night she hung out by the pasta bar for six hours and only left when I shut down the soda bar AFTER the closing hour. The good news for you is that you'll probably only run into one or two trunchbulls.

I've had many rude customers i've only met once, a few rude regulars, people that were just average, and a few really nice regulars. Most of the people you run into are just gonna be average and nice, and not rude. Try not to show fear. Customers can smell fear, and a few will take advantage of that.

5. Start keeping a journal. Yes, i'm serious. Dedicate an entire one to purely work thoughts if you desire. You will build up emotions during the job, and some days are gonna be worse than others. Putting your feelings in the journal will get those thoughts out of your head and down on paper. If a journal won't work for you, find some other outlet. Video journals. Blogging. Drawing. Kickboxing. Whatever it is, find a way to channel those feelings out. If you don't, they build up, and you might have an outburst at work, which is both embarrassing and could lead to other social issues.

6. There are days where you WILL have meltdowns at work. Or shutdowns. Or spur of the moment outbursts of anger, and they will likely happen during rushes. Don't beat yourself up for this, but try to control it at the same time. Use coping skills like deep breathing.

7. Be careful about overloading yourself and taking on too many tasks. If you do that, you'll start getting overloaded. Maybe you're good at multitasking, I don't know, but just.. keep it in mind.

8. You'll have the natural urge to go fast fast fast!!! Don't. Don't go at a snails pace either, but don't go sonic around the establishment. Keep a good steady pace. By going fast, you expend all of your energy at the beginning and get really tired toward the end. Pace yourself.

9. You will suck at this job at the beginning, especially if you have no job experience whatsoever. This is okay. You have no skills and you're basically at level 0. You will not get things right the first time, and thats okay. It's gonna take awhile for you to get the groove of the job. Have patience. A good boss, and good coworkers will be patient with you, and be understanding that you're new.

10. If you possibly can, if you desire, and theres a chance, and working with the public just isn't working for you, see if you can get a position in the back. In the kitchen, or in the back of the store or something. You'll still have to interact with coworkers, and you'll have to face customers sometimes, but it won't be as often.

11. You'll face critique from your boss. Don't take it personally. It's just their job.

12. It's not like highschool. Cliques are less likely to form. Everyone is just there to put in their 6, and get out. If someone does start bullying you, tell your boss and let them handle it. I do suggest chatting with your coworkers. If you can't think of any topics, pick a work related topic. But keep the chatting short and light. You are there to work afterall, but a little small talk never hurt.

13. Advil, and those foam things you put in shoes. Insoles. Trust me on this.

14. If its a job where you're on your feet, you will hurt. You will hurt bad. Especially if you sit on your butt for 10 hours like I do. That first day/night when you get home, you will flop in bed and everything will be agony.

Go back the next day, and it will hurt a little less. Each day will hurt less and less, and soon you won't hurt at all. It's a process. Hot showers and baths will help.

15. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THATS HOLY, EAT SOMETHING BEFORE YOUR SHIFT. DON'T FRIGGIN WING IT AND SAY "I'LL EAT AFTER MY SHIFT :D" YOU WILL GET HANGRY, AND IT WON'T BE PRETTY.

Whew. I only meant to type a few paragraphs, but somehow I ended up with this. This is what I learned from my first job, as a neurodivergent person. Listen to as much, or as little as you want.

TL;DR
1. Don't date coworkers.
2. You'll be written up at some point. Thats okay. It's inevitable.
3. Be friendly and nice to your fellow coworkers, but not chummy.
4. You'll run into rude people. Smile and nod.
5. Start journaling.
6. You will absolutely have meltdowns/shut downs/out bursts. They're normal, but try to control them.
7. Don't try to do too many things at once.
8. Don't go too fast when working, or you'll lose energy.
9. You will suck at the job at first. This is normal. You'll learn.
10. If you can't handle the front of the place, find a way to work in the back.
11. Your boss will critique you. Take it in stride.
12. It's not high school Don't treat it like highschool.
13. Advil and insoles.
14. You will hurt after working. Keep working over the months and itll hurt less.
15. Eat something before starting a shift. Please.


If any other questions, dm me.

ooo a couple things!

1) Work your wage. Don't do more than what you are supposed to do, and you won't get burnt out as fast. It will also help in the long run, you will be less susceptible to being the "maid" of where you are. Trust me, I've seen this in real time, it leads to nothing but you quitting and hurt feelings.

2) Be nice, but don't STRIVE for friendships. I've made friends with the coworkers from my old job during work hours, but it was done in a way that was natural. You will (depending on the nature of the job) probably become friends or at least work friends with somebody, and that's not too much of a bad thing! But don't go into a job with the sole purpose of having friends. Your job and performance will suffer because of it.

3) Your managers/supervisors/higher-ups are not and never will be your friends. Again, be friendly, but not so friendly that you let people get away with treating you badly. With managers, treat them with basic respect, but know that you two are NOT equal. Stand your ground if they ask for you to do something outside of your capabilities (ie. working another shift/covering for someone else's shift, but you're too sick or out for the day) and take no threats.

4) Wear earplugs if you can! I worked in a dog kennel and earplugs were initially allowed, but after a choking incident with one of the dogs and the worker cleaning the kennels being unable to hear on account of wearing headphones, they were banned from all the branches. But hopefully, you have a job where it's either not too loud or plugs are allowed~

5) Mind your business! On your first couple of months, you are still the newbie, and everyone will start to try and categorize you, seeing where you're going to fit in. The moment one starts to gossip about another worker around you, conveniently forget something that you left in your car or bag, or go the direct route and tell them that you don't gossip on the job/can't talk right now/etc.

6) You are replaceable. This is more of an overall tip, and goes hand in hand with working your wage. This job isn't your life, please don't treat it as such. Do what you have for the day, go home! You may be the responsible one, the dependent one, the do-gooder, but the next day you could get laid off or fired.

That's p much all I can think of! Treat yourself well after your first ever shift, the hard part is over! Get something to munch on, shower, get comfortable and prepared for the next shifts! Good luck and congrats!

To get along, ask questions. Practice your "I'm thinking about what you're saying" face to cover your "you actually believe what you're saying" befuddlement. People generally like talking about themselves or like feeling superior to someone "new" so questions you need answers to anyway are helpful in easing into shallow workplace relationships. You can always get to know them later outside of work if you like them enough at work.

Check out the actual legal requirements your country/state/city/county/etc. mandate your employer follow. These are the legal minimums they must meet. Be familiar with them and keep up with yearly changes. Some places you have a right to paid break, other places you are allowed to die of heat stroke if your employer warned you it might be a little hot today. All laws are subject to change.

If you're not on the clock/not being paid you are not working. If you are doing something for work you are donating minutes of your life to people who ought to be paying you for it. Value yourself and your time.

Good luck out there!

thank yous to everyone for the advice, much appreciated (: i really hope things will go smoothly, i feel much more confident about it than i did before thankfully.... off to get a fanny pack for anything ill need

Ooof there is already so much good advice in here so I'll only add a few things regarding coworkers as I used to be socially anxious (still am) and super introverted too. I also was the youngest for a loooong time.


Some people will not take you as seriously because of your age. Don't beat yourself up over this. Yes, it is infuriating sometimes but just ignore it. You can't change them and even if they have more expierience they aren't perfect either.

People talk. A LOT. About everyone, including you. As long as it's not made up stories or anything insulting don't take it personal. People get fed up at work and like to talk trash to blow off some steam. Seriously I've never heard as much gossip as from my +40 year old, male coworkers.

Something positive about older coworkers: They are usually more mature, don't stress about stuff teens or very young adults stress about and just want to get work done and go home like you. I actually prefer working in this enviroment.


General advice I learned over the years is to keep an emotional distance to everything. I used to be overly sensitive and took every bit of negative social interaction to heart and lost sleep over it. Not everyone will like you, some people are unfriendly or in a bad mood seemingly 24/7. It's not your problem, don't make it your problem. Stay polite so if things go south they have nothing to hold against you.

The social part was hard to lear for me. I'm not autistic but social anxiety and self isolation made me socially awkward and even once I learned all these things I wrote about it still was a long time of fake it till you make it.


I now work at a factory/workshop kind of facility with 120 coworkers and am accepted and even somewhat popular which is a first time thing for me. If you had told me 10 years ago I would have laughed and not believed it but this enviroment actually helped me be more relaxed in social interactions despite still being socially awkward.


Good luck, I wish you the best!

Everyone above has said mostly anything I would say but my genuine tip is:

1. Save Save SAVE!!

As someone who used to always fight their parents into buying just about anything it’s gotten me the habit of “spend because I can!” Currently trying to work out of that habit myself because I do in fact need to save for a lot of serious purchases (ie. a car)
You might want to automatically get comfortable with spending because now you’re making your own money and you can buy anything your heart desires. I would try to just save your money for the longterm :)
Hopefully what I said makes sense (I just woke up, but I tried to make it not sound like gibberish)

Good luck with your new job! Hopefully all goes well for you ^u^