[center][b][size=4]LEVIATHANUS: HELP WANTED[/size][/b][/center]
[b]Hello![/b] I've had some vague clan lore for a while and I want to give it a makeover. Below I will be giving a summary of my current lore and then you lovely folk can offer ideas, comments, etc.!
No need to ping, I am subscribed.
[b]CURRENT LORE[/b]
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Magath (progen) was a traveling sorceress who settled down in the Starwood Strand to study arcane magic. A small family found home here. Her studies led her to discovering a Leviathan, a massive sea serpent lurking beneath the Crystalspine Reaches who possessed very strong magic. It was no dragon, but Magath could communicate with it. The Leviathan offered to share it's magic in exchange for knowledge of the terrestrial world. Magath agreed and became quite powerful, using her abilities to help dragonkind and forming a clan of mages, scholars, and sorcerers like herself.
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The secret to Magath's power was discovered by Treven, one of her followers, and an ambitious dragon who wanted the power for himself. He spoke to the Leviathan in secret, and it revealed its true intentions - violence, chaos, and dominion. [i]Feed me,[/i] it hissed, [i]and you will rule over all.[/i] Treven accepted the deal. He gathered a following of his own and took control of Magath's clan by force using his newfound powers and indeed ruled for decades, raiding neighboring clans and expanding his territory into the Crystalspine Reaches. He became a tyrant, squashing anyone who stood up to him. Both Treven and the Leviathan grew stronger. The clan was named [i]Leviathanus[/i] to honor the great beast Treven served.
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[center][size=2][i]Distressed by the takeover, Magath fled. Nobody knows of her current whereabouts.[/i]
This [i]Leviathan[/i] is some sort of malevolent beast who despises dragonkind and wants to rule Sornieth itself. It is many times larger than any dragon breed and requires a lot of food, so the clan feeds the Leviathan and supplies it knowledge of above-ground happenings to keep it satisfied. The Leviathan is implied to be very ancient and powerful, but something is preventing it from taking over Sornieth itself. It might be its own physiology, being a deep sea creature and all, preventing it from world domination. Or the source of its own power is deep undersea and it cannot leave its territory. Or some greater power has trapped the Leviathan, preventing it from rising out of the oceans and causing havoc. To overcome this, the Leviathan seeks to manipulate dragons and turn them against each other, destroying dragonkind from the inside.
[url=https://www1.flightrising.com/forums/cc/1998583/2][img]https://i.imgur.com/CZh5udf.png[/img][/url]
[i](it looks like this. ty twyrine for being the inspiration for my clan's lore lmao)[/i][/size][/center]
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Kailaa, one of Treven's daughters, is the third and current ruler of my clan. She also learned of the Leviathan and rejected both it and her father's tyrrany. She gathered dragons to revolt against Treven and take over the clan, imprisoning Treven and banishing any followers who remained, effectively braking their bonds with the Leviathan. And unlike her predecessors, Kailaa did not make any deals with the Leviathan, nor does she communicate with it. Her situation is a very tense one - she has to repair her relationships with surrounding clans [i]and[/i] figure out how to deal with the Leviathan - but she has the support of friends and clanmates to aid her.
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[center][size=2]In the present day, Kailaa still feeds the Leviathan to keep it satiated and "subdued", but she prevents herself and other dragons from communicating with it, limiting its influence on dragons. Her goal with the Leviathan is to keep it contained and research methods to defeat it, if possible. She also wants to improve the reputation of Leviathanus. Much of Treven's territory has been returned to neighboring clans, reducing Leviathanus' territory to the Crystalspine Reaches, and Kailaa carefully navigates trade and discussion with surrounding clans.
The veil of peace surrounding Leviathanus is quite thin. In fact, there are a few dragons (cough [url=https://www1.flightrising.com/dragon/30600568]jeiboldt[/url] cough) who are still loyal to Treven, and are planning for his return.[/size][/center]
[b]DISCUSSION[/b]
My main issue with this lore is that it feels... generic. Stale. There's no flavor. The Leviathan doesn't really make sense and I'm not sure where to go with it. Ideally, I would like the Leviathan to be part of Magath and Treven's stories and allow Kailaa (and the rest of my dragons) to move forward with some new plotline.
But, [i]what[/i] do I move to? Where do I go? I could physically move the clan to the Oculus (eh), the Starwood Strand (maybe), the Hoverview Vale (maybe?), or even to a new flight (i've been in Arcane for [i]8 unbroken years[/i]) - maybe it's time for a change of scenery?
A change in location isn't as important as a change in the clan's goals, priorities, etc, though. Right now it's "a sanctuary for the lost" aka a stopping place for traveling dragons and kinda just... a clan of dragons. That live together. On some land. Putzing around not doing much. I need them to [i]do something[/i] but I have no idea what that [i]something[/i] could be.
I also [i]really need[/i] to change my clan's name. I came up with Leviathanus in highschool when I was first coming up with these ideas and it just doesn't make sense, especially for a clan that wants to keep the Leviathan a [i]secret[/i].
If you have some ideas, please share!! And thank you for reading!
LEVIATHANUS: HELP WANTED
Hello! I've had some vague clan lore for a while and I want to give it a makeover. Below I will be giving a summary of my current lore and then you lovely folk can offer ideas, comments, etc.!
No need to ping, I am subscribed.
CURRENT LORE
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|
XX
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Magath (progen) was a traveling sorceress who settled down in the Starwood Strand to study arcane magic. A small family found home here. Her studies led her to discovering a Leviathan, a massive sea serpent lurking beneath the Crystalspine Reaches who possessed very strong magic. It was no dragon, but Magath could communicate with it. The Leviathan offered to share it's magic in exchange for knowledge of the terrestrial world. Magath agreed and became quite powerful, using her abilities to help dragonkind and forming a clan of mages, scholars, and sorcerers like herself.
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|
|
XX
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The secret to Magath's power was discovered by Treven, one of her followers, and an ambitious dragon who wanted the power for himself. He spoke to the Leviathan in secret, and it revealed its true intentions - violence, chaos, and dominion. Feed me, it hissed, and you will rule over all. Treven accepted the deal. He gathered a following of his own and took control of Magath's clan by force using his newfound powers and indeed ruled for decades, raiding neighboring clans and expanding his territory into the Crystalspine Reaches. He became a tyrant, squashing anyone who stood up to him. Both Treven and the Leviathan grew stronger. The clan was named Leviathanus to honor the great beast Treven served.
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Distressed by the takeover, Magath fled. Nobody knows of her current whereabouts.
This Leviathan is some sort of malevolent beast who despises dragonkind and wants to rule Sornieth itself. It is many times larger than any dragon breed and requires a lot of food, so the clan feeds the Leviathan and supplies it knowledge of above-ground happenings to keep it satisfied. The Leviathan is implied to be very ancient and powerful, but something is preventing it from taking over Sornieth itself. It might be its own physiology, being a deep sea creature and all, preventing it from world domination. Or the source of its own power is deep undersea and it cannot leave its territory. Or some greater power has trapped the Leviathan, preventing it from rising out of the oceans and causing havoc. To overcome this, the Leviathan seeks to manipulate dragons and turn them against each other, destroying dragonkind from the inside.
(it looks like this. ty twyrine for being the inspiration for my clan's lore lmao)
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|
XX
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Kailaa, one of Treven's daughters, is the third and current ruler of my clan. She also learned of the Leviathan and rejected both it and her father's tyrrany. She gathered dragons to revolt against Treven and take over the clan, imprisoning Treven and banishing any followers who remained, effectively braking their bonds with the Leviathan. And unlike her predecessors, Kailaa did not make any deals with the Leviathan, nor does she communicate with it. Her situation is a very tense one - she has to repair her relationships with surrounding clans and figure out how to deal with the Leviathan - but she has the support of friends and clanmates to aid her.
|
In the present day, Kailaa still feeds the Leviathan to keep it satiated and "subdued", but she prevents herself and other dragons from communicating with it, limiting its influence on dragons. Her goal with the Leviathan is to keep it contained and research methods to defeat it, if possible. She also wants to improve the reputation of Leviathanus. Much of Treven's territory has been returned to neighboring clans, reducing Leviathanus' territory to the Crystalspine Reaches, and Kailaa carefully navigates trade and discussion with surrounding clans.
The veil of peace surrounding Leviathanus is quite thin. In fact, there are a few dragons (cough jeiboldt cough) who are still loyal to Treven, and are planning for his return.
DISCUSSION
My main issue with this lore is that it feels... generic. Stale. There's no flavor. The Leviathan doesn't really make sense and I'm not sure where to go with it. Ideally, I would like the Leviathan to be part of Magath and Treven's stories and allow Kailaa (and the rest of my dragons) to move forward with some new plotline.
But,
what do I move to? Where do I go? I could physically move the clan to the Oculus (eh), the Starwood Strand (maybe), the Hoverview Vale (maybe?), or even to a new flight (i've been in Arcane for
8 unbroken years) - maybe it's time for a change of scenery?
A change in location isn't as important as a change in the clan's goals, priorities, etc, though. Right now it's "a sanctuary for the lost" aka a stopping place for traveling dragons and kinda just... a clan of dragons. That live together. On some land. Putzing around not doing much. I need them to
do something but I have no idea what that
something could be.
I also
really need to change my clan's name. I came up with Leviathanus in highschool when I was first coming up with these ideas and it just doesn't make sense, especially for a clan that wants to keep the Leviathan a
secret.
If you have some ideas, please share!! And thank you for reading!
Stale??? This sounds so cool! some sort of deep trench monster that wants to rule Sornieth? OTher dragons totally confused and mixed into the situation? Sounds awesome!
If you want any tips, maybe try a smoother transition through time? I was reading the first part about Magath and thought the Leviathan was a good noodle :/
If you think it doesn't have much going on, try adding random stuff! Make up another situation or sthm! Maybe that can give ideas!
other than that, this sounds great!
Stale??? This sounds so cool! some sort of deep trench monster that wants to rule Sornieth? OTher dragons totally confused and mixed into the situation? Sounds awesome!
If you want any tips, maybe try a smoother transition through time? I was reading the first part about Magath and thought the Leviathan was a good noodle :/
If you think it doesn't have much going on, try adding random stuff! Make up another situation or sthm! Maybe that can give ideas!
other than that, this sounds great!
i love the idea of the leviathan, i feel like it might make more sense as water flight lore if you want to shake it up but the whole secret monster they deal with is very arcane coded too. i think that expanding the structure of the clan could help. it would be interesting to see how a group of dragons would live their lives structured around a creature that is so much larger than them which hates them. you mentioned a faction which was still loyal to Treven, that could definitelly be expanded on, but as for the rest of the clan, how much does each individual care about the leviathan? do they love or fear it, is it complicated? if there are dragons who are waiting for Treven's return, are there also dragons still loyal to Magath?
i love the idea of the leviathan, i feel like it might make more sense as water flight lore if you want to shake it up but the whole secret monster they deal with is very arcane coded too. i think that expanding the structure of the clan could help. it would be interesting to see how a group of dragons would live their lives structured around a creature that is so much larger than them which hates them. you mentioned a faction which was still loyal to Treven, that could definitelly be expanded on, but as for the rest of the clan, how much does each individual care about the leviathan? do they love or fear it, is it complicated? if there are dragons who are waiting for Treven's return, are there also dragons still loyal to Magath?
Thank you for the feedback! It's highly likely that I think it's boring simply because this is the general story I've been going with for 6-7 years.
After taking some days to think about it, I agree that this is an interesting idea and I
could develop it further. I have not really considered how the Leviathan affects the other dragons in the clan or how the clan would be structured
around the beast like @
Cyeayt mentioned - those are some very good ideas for developing this idea further!
However, I still feel like I want something new.
A transition to a new lore could work like this:
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_______
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Tension over the whole Leviathan situation increases until it reaches a breaking point, splitting the clan between those who desire the Leviathan's power and those who do not/those who fear the power.
Conflict breaks out. With the safety of her clanmates in mind, Kailaa (anti-Leviathan) decides to leave. Ultimately, it is not her responsibility to contain this great beast. Her responsibility is to protect her friends.
Kailaa (+co) move to a different part of Arcane or to a new Flight entirely (I'm thinking Earth, Wind, Light, Shadow, or Ice??). Pro-Leviathan dragons remain in the Crystalspine Reaches, commune with the Leviathan, succumb to it's desire for chaos, and destroy each other. (Treven escapes the prison to join the conflict, but I think even he ultimately falls. Or I manage 2 clans, 1 with Kailaa leading and 1 with Treven (or new blood) leading).
Kailaa (+co) settle somewhere temporarily to figure **** out. Magath (who's, surprisingly, still alive (but very old)) uses Strong Sorcery Magic to locate Kailaa and rejoin the clan (she's been keeping tabs on Leviathanus from a distance but has been too scared to get close to the Leviathan)
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Something I have considered is having another clan (another
user) take over the old Leviathanus territory and "inheriting" the Leviathan. Just an idea atm though.
Finally, to answer your question @
Gubyub - Magath was one of the first dragons the leviathan had communicated with in the while (maybe it can only communicate with strong Arcane mages?). It intentionally acted sweet to Magath to lure in a following and locate a dragon more
susceptible to its true influence - someone ambitious and power-hungry like Treven. Magath would have simply refused to harm other dragons, so the Leviathan's manipulation would have no affect on her. However, Treven was persuaded to become more and more violent as the Leviathan fed him power.
Thank you for the feedback! It's highly likely that I think it's boring simply because this is the general story I've been going with for 6-7 years.
After taking some days to think about it, I agree that this is an interesting idea and I
could develop it further. I have not really considered how the Leviathan affects the other dragons in the clan or how the clan would be structured
around the beast like @
Cyeayt mentioned - those are some very good ideas for developing this idea further!
However, I still feel like I want something new.
A transition to a new lore could work like this:
|
_______
|
Tension over the whole Leviathan situation increases until it reaches a breaking point, splitting the clan between those who desire the Leviathan's power and those who do not/those who fear the power.
Conflict breaks out. With the safety of her clanmates in mind, Kailaa (anti-Leviathan) decides to leave. Ultimately, it is not her responsibility to contain this great beast. Her responsibility is to protect her friends.
Kailaa (+co) move to a different part of Arcane or to a new Flight entirely (I'm thinking Earth, Wind, Light, Shadow, or Ice??). Pro-Leviathan dragons remain in the Crystalspine Reaches, commune with the Leviathan, succumb to it's desire for chaos, and destroy each other. (Treven escapes the prison to join the conflict, but I think even he ultimately falls. Or I manage 2 clans, 1 with Kailaa leading and 1 with Treven (or new blood) leading).
Kailaa (+co) settle somewhere temporarily to figure **** out. Magath (who's, surprisingly, still alive (but very old)) uses Strong Sorcery Magic to locate Kailaa and rejoin the clan (she's been keeping tabs on Leviathanus from a distance but has been too scared to get close to the Leviathan)
|
Something I have considered is having another clan (another
user) take over the old Leviathanus territory and "inheriting" the Leviathan. Just an idea atm though.
Finally, to answer your question @
Gubyub - Magath was one of the first dragons the leviathan had communicated with in the while (maybe it can only communicate with strong Arcane mages?). It intentionally acted sweet to Magath to lure in a following and locate a dragon more
susceptible to its true influence - someone ambitious and power-hungry like Treven. Magath would have simply refused to harm other dragons, so the Leviathan's manipulation would have no affect on her. However, Treven was persuaded to become more and more violent as the Leviathan fed him power.
[quote]It's highly likely that I think it's boring simply because this is the general story I've been going with for 6-7 years.[/quote]
That feels like the most likely explanation to me, because this doesn't seem stale or boring at ALL to me! Really, really, really cool lore here. :D Your lore transition seems cool too.
Re: your idea for separate clans- could you add a new lair tab for the "opposing forces"? Looking at Magath, I also had the thought that she could show back up in disguise- maybe a full-coverage skin, or some appearance-concealing apparel.
Quote:
It's highly likely that I think it's boring simply because this is the general story I've been going with for 6-7 years.
That feels like the most likely explanation to me, because this doesn't seem stale or boring at ALL to me! Really, really, really cool lore here. :D Your lore transition seems cool too.
Re: your idea for separate clans- could you add a new lair tab for the "opposing forces"? Looking at Magath, I also had the thought that she could show back up in disguise- maybe a full-coverage skin, or some appearance-concealing apparel.
That makes more sense then. Still a really cool idea! Great transition too :D
Love to see where this might be going!
That makes more sense then. Still a really cool idea! Great transition too :D
Love to see where this might be going!
i really like the lore transition and how it gives you the chance to shed some of the staleness you've been feeling while keeping the characters you like
i really like the lore transition and how it gives you the chance to shed some of the staleness you've been feeling while keeping the characters you like
I agree with others that the premise is a really interesting hook that I'd want to see more of! Also love the idea of having two separate clans for anti/pro-leviathan, them both being able to kind of inform the progression of the other is really cool.
I'd also be really interested in more information on the leviathan and its motives. Why does it hate dragons? Is it the only of its kind/how did it come to be as it is? If it has been honest with some dragons about its plan to destroy them, how does it convince them to work for it long-term? Does it/why doesn't it rule over the deep if it wants that kind of position? What kind of havoc would it be capable of wreaking if we didn't keep it semi-placated? etc (Not expecting answers to all these, just wondering c: )
If you want to keep the background but want a break from working directly within it, I have some random ideas to take or leave:
It sounds like the leviathan can cause some degree of mental corruption? Maybe its followers can eventually succumb to a kind of madness/leviathan plague that it wants to spread, and Kailaa/co are now a separate clan dealing with these leviathan-mad dragons while trying to find a cure.
Maybe being in league with the leviathan means dragons become part leviathan in some way, even having given up living on land generations ago. And it could focus more on the new clan leaving the water to escape the leviathan clan and finding their place in a world new to them.
If Magath returns, her new role could be a major plot point? Could be a bit of tension with her backseat driving the clan or dragons who start to want her as leader. Maybe she wants the clan to journey with her to the oceanic ruins of ancient civilizations to learn how to defeat it for good.
I could also see it being interesting to do a sort of matrix but dragons. Like if the leviathan is still largely unknown and feeding off these dragons while keeping those in the lower ranks unaware through mental manipulation. Kailaa could be the one who starts to figure out that they are being fed lies/living in a simulation™ and organizing a resistance to break free.
(Not sure if that's quite what you meant, but hopefully that has something you might be able to use c: )
I agree with others that the premise is a really interesting hook that I'd want to see more of! Also love the idea of having two separate clans for anti/pro-leviathan, them both being able to kind of inform the progression of the other is really cool.
I'd also be really interested in more information on the leviathan and its motives. Why does it hate dragons? Is it the only of its kind/how did it come to be as it is? If it has been honest with some dragons about its plan to destroy them, how does it convince them to work for it long-term? Does it/why doesn't it rule over the deep if it wants that kind of position? What kind of havoc would it be capable of wreaking if we didn't keep it semi-placated? etc (Not expecting answers to all these, just wondering c: )
If you want to keep the background but want a break from working directly within it, I have some random ideas to take or leave:
It sounds like the leviathan can cause some degree of mental corruption? Maybe its followers can eventually succumb to a kind of madness/leviathan plague that it wants to spread, and Kailaa/co are now a separate clan dealing with these leviathan-mad dragons while trying to find a cure.
Maybe being in league with the leviathan means dragons become part leviathan in some way, even having given up living on land generations ago. And it could focus more on the new clan leaving the water to escape the leviathan clan and finding their place in a world new to them.
If Magath returns, her new role could be a major plot point? Could be a bit of tension with her backseat driving the clan or dragons who start to want her as leader. Maybe she wants the clan to journey with her to the oceanic ruins of ancient civilizations to learn how to defeat it for good.
I could also see it being interesting to do a sort of matrix but dragons. Like if the leviathan is still largely unknown and feeding off these dragons while keeping those in the lower ranks unaware through mental manipulation. Kailaa could be the one who starts to figure out that they are being fed lies/living in a simulation™ and organizing a resistance to break free.
(Not sure if that's quite what you meant, but hopefully that has something you might be able to use c: )
Very new, figuring things out, lore coming soon!
