- I’m not a great person. I try my hardest to make people see what I want to be; caring, kind, and selfless for example. I go to school or out in public and it’s easy enough to do that. But a lot of times I can’t help thinking thoughts that would instantly destroy my relationships if I hung onto them. For example “oh my god if she wants to complain that much she should actually be f**king DOING SOMETHING ABOUT HER PROBLEMS INSTEAD OF WHINING TO ME” *ahem* yeah stuff like that. It’s not too bad but recently I’ve been realizing I’m more selfish and angry than I thought. I’m just done with peoples bs you know
- I learned how to play Mario Kart (Double Dash) when I was like 5 because once my brother and cousin left the game paused while they went to grab dessert at thanksgiving and I just walked in and played the game? If I remember correctly I came in 2nd place. Did that fuel my game addiction? Maybe, who knows.
- As a kid I had an addiction to my 3DS so I would always be sneaking around the house at (what I thought back then) ungodly hours of the night, searching for where my parents hid my 3DS that time. And once I found it, I would sit there and play until late and wake up the next morning all tired and tell myself “that was fun, let’s do it again” and yeah I had a problem. Still do. I’m still always on the computer super late and if I get caught my parents aren’t happy...
- I’m not a great person. I try my hardest to make people see what I want to be; caring, kind, and selfless for example. I go to school or out in public and it’s easy enough to do that. But a lot of times I can’t help thinking thoughts that would instantly destroy my relationships if I hung onto them. For example “oh my god if she wants to complain that much she should actually be f**king DOING SOMETHING ABOUT HER PROBLEMS INSTEAD OF WHINING TO ME” *ahem* yeah stuff like that. It’s not too bad but recently I’ve been realizing I’m more selfish and angry than I thought. I’m just done with peoples bs you know
- I learned how to play Mario Kart (Double Dash) when I was like 5 because once my brother and cousin left the game paused while they went to grab dessert at thanksgiving and I just walked in and played the game? If I remember correctly I came in 2nd place. Did that fuel my game addiction? Maybe, who knows.
- As a kid I had an addiction to my 3DS so I would always be sneaking around the house at (what I thought back then) ungodly hours of the night, searching for where my parents hid my 3DS that time. And once I found it, I would sit there and play until late and wake up the next morning all tired and tell myself “that was fun, let’s do it again” and yeah I had a problem. Still do. I’m still always on the computer super late and if I get caught my parents aren’t happy...
-I try my best to be nice to people, but honestly I'm tired of a lot of them. I can't relate to them well (which is fine with me because I like not talking to people) and don't really trust anyone except my mom (for a matter of strong reasons) and very few others. I'm tired of my peers' hypocrisy and all their other crap...and I tell myself I want to help them, but I really just want to never associate with them...ever. Which is a huge reason the FR community is such a relief.
-I used to have problems with anger. When I was maybe nine and under, I always seemed serene and quiet until I got just mildly offended or angry and I'd lash out at people/scream at them at the top of my lungs, and I actually mean the loudest I could possibly screech like Stormcatcher. Like that one girl at the sleepover. And that one babysitter. And the group of people who wanted me to be Wreck It Ralph. I was in a constant state of "I hate everything" and felt like I was always burning up inside. I'm not like this anymore, but I remember it well.
-More lighthearted, now: When I was...I don't know what age (yOUNG), I had a crush on the number 2. Don't ask me how, because I cannot explain. I had a crush. On the number 2. Like, really. A crush. I don't even know.
~ I have no much anger and depression and anxiety I want to just give up sometimes. Not commit suiciide give up, but just...lay in a bed for weeks on end and do absolutely nothing, because life is hard. It takes so much energy to be 'normal' for any given day, and I'm starting to lose the need to try about now.
~On a happier side, I actually don't mind being off work for the moment. I get to clean the ever loving crap outta my room, and I haven't done that in about 5 years now. And I get time to play video games like I haven't had in a looong tme. I even finished a quilt I was doing about a yer ago. So while I miss getting paid, this time off is mentally good for me. :>
~ I....on the inside I am not a very nice person. But I never let that side of me show. I have anger issues, so people make me very mad, very quickly, but I try my absolute best to be the nicest person anyone has ever met. Unless somebody does something to set me off, yep, I'm the nicest person in the room. I love learning things about people, mostly because I don't understand myself at all. And I'm missing a few emotions. Which is the weirdest thing about me, possibly. So learning about people, while hiding my true self is how I get around the world on any normal day. It's suuuuper hard, but so is dealing with depression, and I have that, so it's really just another drop in the bucket. :|
~ I have no much anger and depression and anxiety I want to just give up sometimes. Not commit suiciide give up, but just...lay in a bed for weeks on end and do absolutely nothing, because life is hard. It takes so much energy to be 'normal' for any given day, and I'm starting to lose the need to try about now.
~On a happier side, I actually don't mind being off work for the moment. I get to clean the ever loving crap outta my room, and I haven't done that in about 5 years now. And I get time to play video games like I haven't had in a looong tme. I even finished a quilt I was doing about a yer ago. So while I miss getting paid, this time off is mentally good for me. :>
~ I....on the inside I am not a very nice person. But I never let that side of me show. I have anger issues, so people make me very mad, very quickly, but I try my absolute best to be the nicest person anyone has ever met. Unless somebody does something to set me off, yep, I'm the nicest person in the room. I love learning things about people, mostly because I don't understand myself at all. And I'm missing a few emotions. Which is the weirdest thing about me, possibly. So learning about people, while hiding my true self is how I get around the world on any normal day. It's suuuuper hard, but so is dealing with depression, and I have that, so it's really just another drop in the bucket. :|
- I originally only started learning Dutch because one of my favorite Overwatch characters speaks Dutch. (I'm actually really enjoying learning a new language though and might try to learn another one someday, too!)
- I unironically like DragonForce
- For some reason, movies with too much negative emotions/violence/negative events really upset me and the negative emotions stick around for way too long so I usually just stick to cartoons and pixar stuff. No one seems to understand though so I don't tell too many people that :(
- I originally only started learning Dutch because one of my favorite Overwatch characters speaks Dutch. (I'm actually really enjoying learning a new language though and might try to learn another one someday, too!)
- I unironically like DragonForce
- For some reason, movies with too much negative emotions/violence/negative events really upset me and the negative emotions stick around for way too long so I usually just stick to cartoons and pixar stuff. No one seems to understand though so I don't tell too many people that :(
1. i still love undertale
2. i grew up on the internet. i was raised by people who had no morals. when my parents don't have morals, and my brother didn't have morals. i'm so glad i dug myself out, but i feel so disgusted at the people who didn't. i know you had no model, but when you become like them, i can feel no sympathy for you.
3. uuuuuuh my favorite pokemon is umbreon
1. i still love undertale
2. i grew up on the internet. i was raised by people who had no morals. when my parents don't have morals, and my brother didn't have morals. i'm so glad i dug myself out, but i feel so disgusted at the people who didn't. i know you had no model, but when you become like them, i can feel no sympathy for you.
3. uuuuuuh my favorite pokemon is umbreon
MIDNIGHT LOOMING, TRAPPED BY DESPERATION TO REMAIN
-I have two ideas for fanfictions, but I'm terrified of writing them down anywhere, even though if I do there's probably a 0% chance I'll get mocked about it by my friends or family
-I genuinely have no idea what pronouns I am. Some days I like going by she/her, others he/him. They/them and neopronouns make me feel wrong though.
-I really like offices/bureaucratic spaces. Not a clue why, I just feel like I fit in when I'm in them, more so than anywhere else. I like to laugh to myself about it as I think of it like I'm in a comedic story - most narratives have the protagonist not fitting in with everyday jobs and spaces, but feel they fit in when in nature, while I'm the exact opposite!
-I have two ideas for fanfictions, but I'm terrified of writing them down anywhere, even though if I do there's probably a 0% chance I'll get mocked about it by my friends or family
-I genuinely have no idea what pronouns I am. Some days I like going by she/her, others he/him. They/them and neopronouns make me feel wrong though.
-I really like offices/bureaucratic spaces. Not a clue why, I just feel like I fit in when I'm in them, more so than anywhere else. I like to laugh to myself about it as I think of it like I'm in a comedic story - most narratives have the protagonist not fitting in with everyday jobs and spaces, but feel they fit in when in nature, while I'm the exact opposite!
- I'm kinda obsessed with A/B/O verse stories, whether it's OCs or canon characters.
- I'm Polyamorous and I get a lot of hate for it. It's possible to love multiple people y'all this is a thing that happens.
- Wolf body language. I've studied it, I can understand it. I can literally watch a video of two wolves just posturing at each other and can roughly translate what is going on.
- I'm kinda obsessed with A/B/O verse stories, whether it's OCs or canon characters.
- I'm Polyamorous and I get a lot of hate for it. It's possible to love multiple people y'all this is a thing that happens.
- Wolf body language. I've studied it, I can understand it. I can literally watch a video of two wolves just posturing at each other and can roughly translate what is going on.
+3 FR time, frequent user of highly questionable logic.
- My favorite genre is Chinese wuxia, it's like half historical and half fantasy. It takes place in ancient China and involves a lot of spiritual stuff. (They have the coolest swords and hair!!)
- I can't tolerate any spice and it's really sad
- I have some really funky triggers for no reason
Like recently I discovered that I can't let anyone put anything thick (like a thermometer) in my ear, but I can put stuff in my ear myself without freaking out
And I get a really panicked feeling that someone's behind me whenever I'm using the blender (T-T)
- I love succulents and I have so many of them but I will never ever admit that they keep dying
- My favorite genre is Chinese wuxia, it's like half historical and half fantasy. It takes place in ancient China and involves a lot of spiritual stuff. (They have the coolest swords and hair!!)
- I can't tolerate any spice and it's really sad
- I have some really funky triggers for no reason
Like recently I discovered that I can't let anyone put anything thick (like a thermometer) in my ear, but I can put stuff in my ear myself without freaking out
And I get a really panicked feeling that someone's behind me whenever I'm using the blender (T-T)
- I love succulents and I have so many of them but I will never ever admit that they keep dying
sig wip :)
