General Discussion

not to ask a stupid question as usual but even though gay is obviously an umbrella term for the community, is it alright to call myself gay despite not having a gender or sexuality? i've always liked an identified with that term and i wouldn't use it irl because people will get the wrong idea because i don't really pass as like, anything. the only way to pass as not having a gender is to be androgynous but not only is that not a style i dress as, i also flat out don't understand gender roles and stuff so even the absence of gender is confusing to me. but also i might just be still grasping on to an identity that only hurt me and wasn't my true self but was something i identified for so many years its hard to let go.

that conversation above me i feel it too, though there's no hrt to remove gender couldn't take it because of disability even if i wanted it htough

@bulrush From my perspective, labels are like clothing. You wear what you feel most comfortable in and what feels most comfortable can change over time. If "gay" feels right to you, then "gay" it is. Also, yes, it is an umbrellas term so I really don't see why you couldn't or shouldn't use it. ^^

@JCStitches thank you, i was worried about miscommunication but it shouldn't be a problem if i keep it to an online space. i think things start to get real squirrelly on american based websites because we have a lot more terms than other people use but if people misinterpret that's sometimes out of my control. i like the rainbow flag so much anyways and people will recognize it above the agender one as happy as i am to use it T_T

@bulrush No problem! Sometimes you just need to hear someone else say "It's okay. You're okay." I totally get that. Also, there's a lot of labels out there. Sometimes they help you pin down a certain feeling or part of yourself that you're trying to find a word for and it feels so good. Other times, they get so confusing and confining that you just kind of want to break free. When that happens, I like going back to words like "gay" and "queer" because they give me room to breathe.

Anyway, you're okay. I'd go ahead and use both flags - the people who know will know. You don't have to explain yourself.

[quote name="bulrush" date="2023-07-29 18:51:45" ] not to ask a stupid question as usual but even though gay is obviously an umbrella term for the community, is it alright to call myself gay despite not having a gender or sexuality? i've always liked an identified with that term and i wouldn't use it irl because people will get the wrong idea because i don't really pass as like, anything. the only way to pass as not having a gender is to be androgynous but not only is that not a style i dress as, i also flat out don't understand gender roles and stuff so even the absence of gender is confusing to me. but also i might just be still grasping on to an identity that only hurt me and wasn't my true self but was something i identified for so many years its hard to let go. that conversation above me i feel it too, though there's no hrt to remove gender couldn't take it because of disability even if i wanted it htough [/quote] i use gay because i am a man who likes other men, some women use it if they're attracted to other women. some multi-spec people use it, and some queerhet people use it... what i'm rambling on about is that you used it if you feel comfortable with it. the only people who aren't some form of a part of the LGBTQ+ community (this includes aro/ace people, straight trans/GNC people/queerhet, mspec people, etc.) anything you feel happy with works!

@bulrush Like JCStitches already said; labels are like clotches. Umbrella terms and flags are free to use for everyone who feel connected to it. It's okay to feel insecure or to have questions - we can always help each other out [emoji=familiar heart size=1]

i want to post this here because i added it to my bio and i don't like the way it looks with everything else- here it is lol [center][img]https://i.imgur.com/VBPYw9K.png[/img][/center]

My girlfriend broke up with me and i don’t feel sad about it and I feel like a terrible person ( I’m female she/her and they/them )

@qwertykat12 (i hope pings are okay- sorry if not)
do you want to talk about it? i'm free to listen, even if i don't respond immediately, i'll likely be at band camp, but i'll still try my best

I figured out at the ripe ol' age of 40 that I'm actually bi... (have been happily in a hetero marriage since the age of 20)

So for context, I have 4 kids - the oldest is male, omni with a preference for males. The second oldest is trans (FTM) & gay. My second & I were having a convo and he said something to the effect of "imagine you like a girl" & I responded with "I have before. Isn't everyone like that?"... When his jaw dropped, I realized that I may have been wrong about my sexuality all along. When I told my hubby that I realized I was bi, he responded with "I know. You've always told me about women you think are hot..."
Like, COULD SOMEONE HAVE INFORMED ME ABOUT THIS YEARS AGO??? LOL!!!