General Discussion

@Pertly has a good point, some LDRs can work really well for people who are just exploring their sexuality or preferences as it gives you a safe way to reach out and connect, as well as test out the whole relationship thing while still having a little bit of space, so this can benefit someone with social issues as well. However, I've seen an LDR go real bad BECAUSE it was an exploration of sexuality and the confused person really wasn't in a position to be dating ANYONE. But that's not my story to tell.

@Nuibella It really does strengthen your communication skills and it's very dependent on trust and how hard you're willing to work for it. If you cannot trust each other enough to talk about what's happening in your life or trust them to be truthful with you, it won't go well. And I mean, everyone is EVENTUALLY going to have some breach of trust. It doesn't mean it'll be a huge thing, but it could be as simple as "I went to this party even though I told you I was going to the movies with friends." It's just a part of relationships, but it can be harder to swallow over such a big distance

ALL THESE WORDS OF CAUTION ASIDE, I've been in an LDR for 2 1/2 years now with someone about 300 miles away. He's been an unbelievable support to me and is fantastic at putting up with my bullcrap, including calling me out on it. I feel at home with him around, in a way I've never really felt before. We make an effort to call every day- even if it's only a minute long, although it's probably kinda clingy and we both acknowledge that, so I don't know if I'd suggest it to everyone. We spend a lot of time together playing games-- this works great if you both have the same console and a game with online multiplayer, then just call up on skype or phone and play. There's also emulators that'll let you both play a game and basically pass the controller. We're lucky enough to live as close as we do, so we make an effort to visit every 3 or 4 months at the least. The trip is about 12/13 hours in the end, but hey, it's worth it to us.

I COULD GO ON FOR A WHILE SO I'LL LEAVE IT AT THAT unless someone responds.. it's such a broad topic @n@;;

I actually started dating my current boyfriend when we still lived in the same state. But complications in our relationship for a short while did occur, and while we weren't together I made the choice to move up to a different state. We ended up getting back together right before the move, only to find out he would be moving as well. Further in the opposite direction! We are trying to make it work, and plan to do some visits back and fourth eventually when the dust settles from the upheavals.

I hope we can make it work, but I do admit I am worried about it. I have been in long distance relationships before without much luck, and terrible results. Considering I have a really hard time saying whats on my mind in general, and he can be terrible at communication >_

Ahhh sorry for not responding!~ Working on an assignment.

@Agi I'm sure you'll find someone compatible for you though, even if it's not an LDR! It's best to take things slow anyway and don't go out and look, focus on yourself. :)
My parents are very open about topics, of course they were not okay with a LDR at first but after the amount of time we've been together they have learned to be okay with it.

@Ravette I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with LDRs. Like many other people, there have been very sad/upsetting endings to them.
I try to have a healthy limitation of conversation between us, not too much that we act clingy, and not so little that we barely talk to each other.
I hope you are okay after that whole experience.

Thank you for your positive words. :)

@punkbird I'm sorry to hear that about your friends. :( I hate when people jump to conclusions like that, I am not a careless person and I kinda met my partner times before. It's silly when people ask me if I'm being catfished when I've obviously met the person previously. :P
I hope everything goes well with you& your LDR! I wish you best of luck :)

@pertly Wow I give you two props for staying together with that distance! I hope you guys are still happy and enjoy the time together. I'm glad to hear it's also made you happy, and your parents are okay with it! Mind if I ask where you two live (if that isn't creepy)?

@Serilda I'm also sorry to hear you and your boyfriend's experiences with LDRs. I hope you are both okay and well, and that you are happy with each other currently.
I ALWAYS meet my boyfriend in public areas, and never take him with me into isolated areas because of that risk. I always have my parents and his parents with me at some point. We try to have daily video chats for at least 30 minutes a day, or texting little messages. I also, since we both met each other's families, get to know each other better and feel in a safer environment. :)

@superflumous
Yes, I do believe trust is the NUMBER ONE thing in a LDR, besides for communication. People need to set up how they feel about certain situations, such as hanging out with friends or the such.
I do not like jealousy at all on both sides of the relationship, whether it is LDR or a "regular" irl relationship. I try to explain how we feel about meeting with people, and we trust each other enough as long it doesn't go past kissing someone, for example.

I'm glad to hear your LDR is going well for you! I hope you two are very happy together. Me and my boyfriend try to play online games together as well, then jump on skype. :)
I wish you two best of luck !!

@Crl88t Congrats on getting to be together with your partner! I am very happy to hear you guys are still going strong. :)
I do get those crying moments in the beginning, but I feel I have gotten used to the distance now. Especially after leaving each other real life, I get all sappy for the next week until I get over it.

@JynxedEthena I'm sorry to hear you guys are moving further away! I think a discussion about communication for him is in your guys best interest. I usually have trouble speaking about problems, but even typing it out helps me or writing it out (I'm still in the process of breaking out of my shell)
I personally get a "choking" feeling which stops me from talking about things I'm nervous about, so that is a simple solution is just type what you feel. Keeping a journal of how you feel about situations, then showing it to your partner can also help.
Sending snail mail to each other is something that can benefit both of you in the time between, especially for holidays. I make cards or little gifts once in a blue moon, spray them with perfume or something, and send them his way. Just something that allows to have a reminder of YOU around is very helpful. :)
I wish you both best of luck xx

@Atomikamikaze Aw I hope you and your girlfriend will do much better in the future, and I hope her spinal surgery goes well!
You two sound adorable together, my god! I wish best of luck for you two~!

@Nuibella

AHhhh yes setting clear boundaries and being vocal about what you're comfortable with is SO important. I feel like even in a lot of NON-LDR relationships people just have trouble vocally saying what they are and aren't cool with, and you could just avoid all that trouble..

I'm most interested in the part of your post about swapping ideas though * v *

Sending more letters sounds like a nice idea I should try.. We try to send little gifts if we can afford it, or silly little gestures, but I'm pretty bad about letters. One time there wasn't any food in his house and he was broke so I asked him what he'd want, googled and called up a pizza place near his house and ordered him food with my card. I still don't think he's gotten over that one. I highly recommend food delivery gifts. The pride of feeding your loved ones with minimal effort.

If you guys like old games, try ZSNES! It has both of you open the application and have the game running so that you can just play singleplayer and pass the controller, or even multiplayer if the game allows. It requires roms and having hamachi, so there's a certain amount of set-up involved.

Also swapping shirts or jackets every time you meet. Give it back next time, get another one in return. You can wear it around if it fits, or as pajamas, or just use it as a pillow that smells like your s/o ?

I've been in an LDR for just over a year now (anniversary was in June!) and.. well, it's been rough. It's hard only being able to see him every 2 or 3 weeks at most, especially since we're both very physically affectionate people, but hopefully things will get a bit better next year since we're both going to university in the same city. I love him to bits though, it's worth it for the times we do get to be together, and we talk on Skype all the time so it's not like we're out of touch.

This is what I get for meeting wonderful people through cosplay while at uni I guess.

@Nuibella I am in the UK, she is in Texas :) From what you guys are saying, yes, I think one of the best things about LDRs - and what's necessary to maintain one - is communication and expressing what you want/need from one another. Since you can't really rely on contact and body language so much it's necessary to talk things over and ultimately it puts you in a better place than being too nervous to express things, it's so much easier with a keyboard between you and it means you have time to set up good foundations before going off the deep end into things when it gets to a point where you can be physically together.