Unnamed

[Chalmers rings Skinner's doorbell. Skinner opens the door.]

Chalmers: Well, Seymour, I made it, despite your directions.

Chalmers: Yeah.


[Chalmers enters. In the dining room, he sits at the table and places a glass bottle in an ice bucket, while Skinner runs to the kitchen, only to find his roast is burnt, and gasps in horror.]



[Skinner begins to climb through the window, but Chalmers enters the kitchen and catches Skinner trying to leave.]

Chalmers: Ah-!

[Accompanied by a montage of scenes of Skinner and Chalmers from previous episodes, the theme song to an imaginary sitcom called "Skinner and the Superintendent" then plays:]



[The scene goes back to Skinner's kitchen]



[Smoke can be seen coming out of Skinner's oven]


Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour? [points to the oven]


[Once a suspicious Chalmers leaves the kitchen, Skinner breathes a sigh of relief, climbs out the window, and runs across the street to Krusty Burger, where he buys hamburgers and French fries to replace his burnt roast. The scene cuts to the dining room, where Skinner comes from the kitchen with the fast food on a silver tray.]


Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.

Chalmers: You call hamburgers 'steamed hams'?

Chalmers: Uh-huh. Eh, what region?

Chalmers: Really? Well, I'm from Utica and I've never heard anyone
Chalmers: use the phrase 'steamed hams'.

Chalmers: I see.


[Chalmers takes a bite out of a burger and chews it a little, while Skinner sips his drink.]


Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have
Chalmers: at Krusty Burger.

Chalmers: For steamed hams?

Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams, despite the fact they are
Chalmers: obviously grilled? [opens one of the burgers and exposes the patty's
Chalmers: grilled pattern to Skinner]

Chalmers: Of course.


[Skinner enters and leaves the kitchen swiftly upon seeing it is now on fire]


Chalmers: Yes, I should be-- [notices the intense light coming from the burning
Chalmers: kitchen] GOOD LORD, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!?

Chalmers: A--Aurora Borealis!? At this time of year, at this time of day,
Chalmers: in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen!?

Chalmers: ...May I see it?


[They exit the house as the kitchen fire grows larger.]


Chalmers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say...
Chalmers: you steam a good ham.


[As Chalmers begins heading home, Agnes starts screaming for help, causing Chalmers to look back towards the house. Skinner gives him a thumbs up and a fake smile, causing him to keep walking away. Once Chalmers is out of sight, Skinner rushes back into the house to deal with the fire.]