Quicksand

https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator

Whirlwinds Incorrect Quotes:
*Bullying Prevention Day at school*
Teacher: Psyche, what would you do if one of your classmates viciously teased you again and again?
Psyche: Oh, that’s easy. I’d take a pencil out of my pencil case—
Teacher: To write something to your teacher?
Psyche: —make sure that it’s really sharp, and ram it into their eye at full tilt! My mom always says the pencil is mightier than the sword because they can’t outlaw bringing pencils to school!
Teacher: *internal screaming*

*The Squad when asked about their earlier confession of love*
Quicksand: Yeah, you're lucky. I like you.
Luminescence: I'd understand if you didn't feel the same way...
Zakat: *has a panic attack* What confession?
Deepsea: *winks* I know, babe. You like me too.
Seafoam: So what? Are you going to date me or not?
Blizzard: It was a dare.

Luminescence: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Blizzard and Seafoam's convo?
Deepsea: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.
Quicksand: I'm in the washing machine.
Zakat: I'm in the closet.
Deepsea: We accept you Zakat. <3
Zakat: No, I'm literally in the closet.
Deepsea: Love is love.
Zakat: ...I hate you all.

Quicksand: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier.
Quicksand: Violently practices.
Seafoam: Violently studies.
Zakat: Violently sleeps.
Deepsea: Violently shoots pictures.
Luminescence: Violently boxes.
Blizzard: Violently murders people.
Zakat: Violently worries about the previous statement.

Zakat: *dies*
Blizzard: Timer starts now! When are they coming back? I say two months!
Luminescence: Bull. One month.
Quicksand: Nah, half a month.
Deepsea, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ZAKAT JUST DIED!
Seafoam, scratching chin in thought: One week.

Blizzard: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?
Luminescence: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.
Quicksand: Three of us saw it, Luminescence. How do you explain that?
Luminescence: *points at Seafoam* Sleep deprivation. *points at Quicksand* Paranoia. *points at Deepsea* Delusional personality disorder.

Luminescence: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Seafoam: Several traffic violations.
Deepsea: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Blizzard: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Zakat: Also, that’s not our car.

Zakat: Y’know, maybe things aren’t so bad. I’m here. I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts.
Deepsea: Hey, Zakat.
Zakat: GODDAMNIT!

Luminescence, dashing into the room: WHY AREN’T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?!
Blizzard: …What does that even mean?!

Zakat: You need to stop swearing so much.
Quicksand: Shut the f*ck up.
Zakat: Yeah, that's not how you do it.
Quicksand: Alright sorry. It's just that it's hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it.
Zakat: Now now, don't be like that. Just replace the swear words with 'beep' and you'll be fine.
Quicksand: Sh*t the beep up.
Zakat:
Quicksand: SHUT, DAMMIT! I MEANT SHUT!

Seafoam: Life is like Zakat. It's short.

Luminescence: What's worse than a heartbreak?
Blizzard: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

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Clan Incorrect Quotes:
Inferno: People tell me I have a unique way of lighting up a room.
Blizzard: It’s called arson and those people are called witnesses.

*Zakat, Sunset, Inferno, Quicksand, and Blizzard are in the forge*
Quicksand: *Drops a sizzling hot piece of iron on Blizzard's talons (again)*
Zakat: YOU DUMBA- *Deepsea walks in* -rsonist?!
Sunset, oblivious: Hey, I though Inferno and I were the dumb arsonists here!

"Your Armored Iguanador is tolerant of you, but it seems to be warming up slightly."
Deepsea: Yay!
Quicksand: Well, iif it warms up too much... is it gonna burn?
Deepsea: ...........*sob*
Quicksand: What?

"Your Armored Iguanador is completely loyal; nothing is going to tear you two apart."
Deepsea: Ooh! Nice!
Quicksand: Well, a sword might....
Seafoam: Or a well-thrown dagger, considering it's size. Although killing Deepsea would be a bit of a challenge...
Zakat: Or an ax...
Deepsea: *Sobs, hugs familiar*
Blizzard: You scared her, you idiots.


*Zakat, Sunset, Inferno, Quicksand, and Blizzard are in the forge*
Quicksand: *Drops a sizzling hot piece of iron on Blizzard's talons (again)*
Zakat: YOU DUMBA- *Deepsea walks in* -rsonist?!
Sunset, oblivious: Hey, I though Inferno and I were the dumb arsonists here!