SOMARIS

what if i was an angel and u were a mortal and i fell for you both emotionally and spiritually but then we were both horrendously cursed by my attempt to give us eternal life. and we were gay. hahaha wouldn't that be craaazy

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Somaris felt like she was forgetting something. Perhaps, more acutely, someone.

Thick fog clouded her mind, and made it nigh impossible to form thoughts clearly. It’s not like she didn’t try her hardest, but nothing was coming to fruition. An unsettled feeling began to accumulate in the depths of her heart. Maybe, she had been left to exist for far too long, and her curse had given her a fading memory, among other things.

She left her post on the Scavenger’s crow’s nest, using what still remained of both her feathered and non feathered wings to gracefully glide down and onto the main deck. It continued to gnaw at her, both her curse, and the memory loss that had seemingly come with it. This aspect had only reared its head now, really. Before then, she would have an astounding memory. Terrifyingly accurate, even. No detail was left untouched.

Now, it just seemed like she was losing everything left and right. Of course, she could confide in the others. Surely, they would understand.

“But what if they didn’t?” Ah. There it was. The Voice. It liked to invade her consciousness to spout every manner of intrusive thoughts. It could have been put there by the curse, or it could have been there from the very start. Perhaps it was even an aspect of her personality, or at least the one she had prior to her fall from grace. The Voice was generally not malicious towards her, nor the others. It simply was… saddened, maybe.

“No, they will understand,” she insisted out loud to herself, although to onlookers it probably looked like she was just talking to the air around her. “When have they not? They, too, are outcasts.”

“They have not been through the same events as you. Thus, they can not know the true extent of your pain. Please, do not tell them of your memory loss,” it pleaded with Somaris, attempting to reason with her. It was trying to get her to ignore the growing concern that swelled in her chest for her own wellbeing.

Obviously, it was not working.

Somaris, ignoring The Voice, began to make herself more presentable, despite everything. She’d settled near the water’s edge to see her reflection in the water, as the ship was docked on an island the crew took up residence on. It was about as welcoming as a dilapidated house was to any normal person, with its craggy outcroppings and serrated shorelines, but it was home. Even if it was a pain to navigate back to and land on safely.

Somaris stared back at the hollow eyed skull that was her face, as well as the small, feathered wings that adorned her head. Her feathers kept molting more and more everyday, and her skin continuously flaked and peeled off. She looked like a far cry from what she once was, and even the cloth that curled around her and draped down from her body was old and tattered. Yet despite this, its gold accents could still be seen.

She took a good look at herself, taking in what she had become. She had caused this in her attempt to give her and her mortal lover eternal life. Yes, she was remembering! It was both a joyous and regretful occasion, as there was likely a reason for her forgetting in the first place. She was not meant to remember that her actions had led to her downfall and to her lover perishing. Her unconscious had sealed that memory away from her for her own protection.

Nonetheless, Somaris had reawakened those memories by reminding herself of what her appearance was. A low rumble escaped her in frustration at what she has rediscovered as the truth. Most of all, this revelation filled her with rage, both against herself, and the heavens that had cast her out in the first place. She wasn’t supposed to remember them either. The way her flock had sent her cascading down to the earth was beyond insulting, and it had left her with just as many emotional scars as it did physical ones.

Tilting her head up towards the sky, her great maw opened, and she let forth a roar filled with a mix of anger, sorrow, and lastly, grief. It was powerful enough to make the very ground tremble beneath her, and it sent every manner of small creature scattering when she had produced such a horrifying sound. The result was her, completely and utterly alone. It was not unlike how she found herself once her attempt at blessing herself and who she loved with eternal life.

Somaris’ soul tainted by sorrow, she bowed her head as if in reverence for the heavens, and as a way to repent for what she had done.

“It’s much too late for that,” The Voice murmured to her with a morose tone.

“Yes, I know. I am aware. Maybe… we were never really meant to be,” was her reply, mournful, quiet, and filled with utter woe. Although she was no longer physically capable of crying, she still felt the burning in her eyes before tears usually fell. Of course, there would be nothing more to come out of her eyes than just that mere sensation. She had lost a lot over time, due to her body’s steady decline. Decaying day by day, it was only inevitable that she would lose some of the things that she had once been able to do.

It was an unnatural thing for an angel, or what had used to be an angel, to have exposed bones, but this was only a constant reality for her. As she rotted away, so did her resolve to keep going, although finding a place among outcasts had helped to mitigate that, if only just a bit. She also had her curse of immortality to blame, for she had lived long past the lifespan of a normal angel. Somaris truly could not die, not even if she truly wished to.

written by the impeccable dreamsicle262