Alvaro

"i know that i might not survive this, but i just hope that i can survive it long enough to get through to you"

-

acrid and astringent

-

a little bit of social engineering, a little bit of espionage--and with how much attention you command wherever you go, how could i have afforded to miss you? you're a slippery one, xalmas, but not uncatchable.

-

if things have to be the way they are
is it not simpler to cast me out
to excise a sickness festering at the heart;
a core of irredeemable harm

if some things never change,
how often can they be forgiven
for every misstep seems a sin
where i fail to repair it at its heart

indelible marks upon my soul
all i've done continues to show
time marches on yet my harm's as fresh as snow

what's the point in suffering this
if all it leads you to is the ground

i'm always afraid
i always have been so
though time marches on, so too does the soul

what's the point of listlessness
of bated breath and painful fear
of things that approach; are always near

inevitability is an opponent
that i cannot hope to trap
i feel as though he closes in
with his steely gaze and iron grasp

what's the point of listlessness
of bated breath and painful fear
of things that approach; are always near

doomed to repeat my harmful throes
those patterns written somewhere i cannot know
fate is so cyclic;
a timeless dance i can't control