Unnamed

so, i went to the beach that makes you old.
you went to the what?
the beach that makes you old.
the beach that makes you old?
yea, man. the beach that makes you old.
excuse me?
i got to tell you about this beach. it made me old.
you have to know that's not possible.
look at me, man. i'm old as hell. and it's cuz i went to the beach that makes you old.
there are a million reasons why you might look the way you look. i'm not going to entertain the idea that a beach could make you old.
wait. actually, i think it's the rocks on the beach, not the beach itself. something to do with the cliffs?
what are you talking about?
had to swim through coral to get out.
stop.
but i'm still old.
enough. let's say, hypothetically, that a beach could actually make you old.
the rocks.
the rocks.
let's say the rocks could make you old. how much of you is getting old? does your metabolism speed up? do you need to pee more frequently?
man, listen-
do your fingernails grow faster?
man-
your hair?
i don't know, man! i just got old.
i'm finding it hard to believe. it doesn't hold together logically.
i don't know what to tell you. i wasn't old and now i'm old. i think it was cuz i went to the beach that makes you old.
this is all pretty ridiculous.
you wanna see for yourself?
sure. why not?
you can go to the beach if you want. but you'll get old.
i doubt it.
look at how ******* old i am.
i'm not going to get old.
you will get old!
i won't!
you will!
the beach will not make me old.
okay, man. but don't say i didn't warn you about getting old. jamie, pull up the directions to the beach that makes you old.
i'm not gonna get old on the beach.
good luck, man.
...
hey.
hey.
...
i got old.