Cedrela

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real, you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

- The Velveteen Rabbit, Margery Williams

---

every plush animal is given this purpose; to love and be loved. some protect, some comfort, some teach - but these roles are all secondary. they are built, each and every one, to belong to someone. but how does a plushie feel when it has no one to belong to? some would say, well, it would feel nothing, because it isn't alive. but anyone who has traveled with a stuffed companion by their side knows this isn't true. they may be bodies of cloth, and thread, and stuffing, but they have heart.

when a stuffed animal is truly loved, it becomes real. but, what many do not know is - this is not the only way. it is simply the happiest. no, some stuffed animals become real, but not because they are cherished. nameless is one such real plush dragon. he was made with love, he is sure of it. though he was made of fine material, and time was taken to make his stitches strong, his creators love was not what he was made for. it was but a taste of a promise. love evenly distributed between each and every small, hatchling sized plush his paws crafted. no, nameless was meant for greater. to be some hatchling's lifelong companion, or a declaration of love from one dragon to another.

he watched excitedly as families poured into the shop - children marveled at the display he and his siblings sat upon. lovers looking for a gift were dazzled. he always did his best to sit near the front, to make sure his golden eyes shined like gemstones. to make sure his fur was well kept. but, it seemed, there was always someone the customers liked better; his siblings in reds, blues, pinks, yellows, all found loving homes. he watched as they left in the arms of a delighted hatchling (or their mother's, if the hatchling were too young to hold the toy themselves), or with a beautiful ribbon around their neck for an unsuspecting mate. he longed for the day that he too would see what was beyond the doors of the toy shop - but especially to feel what it was like to be squeezed and held like that! he was proud of his siblings, and he was happy for them.

as time went on, his eyes became a little duller, and his fur wasn't as soft as it was when he had been made. but still, he thought, there was a perfect family out there waiting for him. maybe the hatchling he would belong to wasn't out of their egg yet. or maybe his new family was shy, and they just hadn't found the courage to confess their feelings. he was a plushie, after all, and time didn't mean all that much when you had a lifetime of love to look forward to. but he noticed something odd; that his creators eyes seemed a bit duller, too. he didn't have the same spark, the same bounce in his step as he rushed about to show the wares to his newest customers.

now that nameless thought about it... it had been a while since he saw any new faces, at all. his creator had not stocked his display again with newer, younger siblings in a while. all those he had been placed upon the shelf with had long since found homes. actually... nameless was alone. it felt weird, now that he saw it. but, that happens sometimes, right? it didn't mean anything. besides, his creator still stopped by the display, straightened him up, and smiled at him - maybe tomorrow eh, little one? if the creator didn't give up, neither would he!

more days came and went. no new faces. until one day, a visitor! but this dragon looked much too old to be a hatchling. no, but maybe a father? thoughts danced around in nameless' head - what if he was going to go home today and then meet his new best friend in a few weeks? how delightful it would be to be with them from the very first moment! a plushies dream! or a mate? he imagined the face of the dragon as he was presented with a shiny golden bow, to match his eyes! but the visitor did not so much as look around the store - he made his way to the office where the creator spent his time, and he did not emerge for a very long time. when he did, just as he had arrived, he left without looking around. even though nameless sat with his chest puffed out, looking his best despite his condition, this dragon didn't so much as glance at him. well ... maybe tomorrow, right?

that night, however, the creator began placing the other toys in strange square things, and closing them. nameless had seen them before, sometimes when a large bundle of toys were bought, the creator would say, let me put those in a box for you. these must be boxes - and boxes meant you were going home! it seems the creator had found him a family after all, although he wondered why he didn't get to meet them first, even if it was just a mommy or a daddy. still, he knew he would love them no matter what. but when the dragon came to take him from his shelf, he looked... sad? no one ever looked sad in the toy store! the dragon held him in his hands, before hugging him to his chest and letting out a gentle, quiet sigh, i am so sorry, little one, we tried our best. nameless did not understand.

they did not return to the toy store after that. nameless did not know, but it was gone - out of business. his creator was saddened by this... it had been his home, too, and his greatest joy. he did not make toys anymore. because, if they could not find homes... what reason was there to make them? he didn't do much of anything after that, really. he had been old when he crafted nameless - but now, having lost his shop, his age began to show. he was heartbroken. and so, he stayed in his cave. and nameless - nameless stayed in that box. he did not know for how long. months? years? but he knew... he wasn't going home. he wasn't going to find a family. not in this cardboard box.

so he became real. but his loneliness, his sadness, his pain - those became real, too. he had to leave this box, and leave his creator. he loved him like a father, but he had to find a family. that is what the creator wanted for him. so he climbed out of the box, snuck past the creator's cave, and stumbled out into the world. it was bright, beautiful, everything he had hoped when he caught glimpses of it through the windows. but, to see it without being held in a loving embrace.. it felt bittersweet.

---

nameless (new name pending) is connected to her. he is a plush toy come to life. he is a hatchling she protects. she doesn't understand a life without something to guard, to keep safe, and it keeps her motivated to continue her battle no matter how hard it becomes. and he is a stuffed toy with an innate need to be loved. they're an odd pair. he leans toward evil because he was unloved and left behind and this manifests in anger and wanting others to understand his pain. both herself and the spirit that resides within her are protective of this child. the spirit sees the pain of his past life in the hatchling, but blinded by rage and hatred as he is, wants to feed into the negative emotions nameless has... so that he may be like him. but she hopes to rehabilitate him. after all, he is only a child, and with love he could be happy.

(don't worry, they get a happy ending!)


Art by Sageduille