MANIMAL

aw yeah, boom box on a boat. nff nff nff NFF

full pali make the room go boom boom

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old rainbro bios:

Many dragons, seeing the MANBOW upon them, brace for an EPIC BATTLE OF DUDESOME BROPORTIONS. And that is their VERY FIRST MAN-STEAK (mistake but FOR ONLY TRUE MEN ONLY): They expect to go at it SIX MANS TO ONE.

They never see number seven, until he is SCREAMING INTO THE FACE OF HIS BROPPONENTS AT LITERAL LIGHT SPEED. Call him a CUTE CHERUB or BENELOVENT BUTT, and it will be TWICE LIGHT SPEED.

You see, MANANA isn't number seven. He is, in fact, NUMBER ONE. He's the very FIRST FIST of the POWERTHIRST, and he is MANANA, MANANA, MANANA, MANANA THREE TIMES OVER, MANANA ALL THE WAY TO THE WRESTLING MAT, where many a brave bro has found themselves - USUALLY WITH THEIR LIGHTS OUT. Famed throughout the MANCAVE for his DASHING SPEED, MANANA punches first and asks questions later.

Don't let his fine finery and small stature fool you - this FIERCE FIGHTIN' FAE has a left hook that ONCE KNOCKED OUT A WHOLE CARAVAN BEARING A GREAT MANY HAWAIMAN PIZZAS (the manliest of pizzas). Knocked them all down like BROMINOS. AND THEN HE ATE THE PIZZA. AND DEMANDED PAYMENT FOR THE SERVICE OF EATING THE STEAKS. (The payment, if you are wondering, WAS MORE PIZZA.)

In his spare time, MANANA enjoys LIGHT SPEED BEAR WRESTLING, LIGHT SPEED STUNT FLYING, and long walks on the beach.

AT LIGHT SPEED.

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Formally speaking, those who challenge the POWERTHIRST LEAGUE must challenge BRORANGE first. Informally, this is assuming MANANA missed them, and MANANA rarely misses, so full of BROVADO he is. But sometimes, he misses on purpose, so the others can have A FAIR AND BROTHERLY GO at BEATING THE EVERLASTING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF ALL CHALLENGERS WHO DARE BROPPOSE THEM.

And it's said around the MAN-CAVE that BRORANGE goes first, 'cuz he's the easiest to beat. He's not the biggest of the POWERTHIRST, not the fastest. He might not even be into HIGHLY CAFFEINATED DRINKS. There's a whisper going around that he DOES NOT LIFT EVERY DAY and, most dreadful of all, he MAY OR MAY NOT BROCCASIONALLY MISS LEG DAY.

But when BROPPONENTS step into his room, filled with excellently drawn brortraits of himself, they may start to wonder. Aren't those muscles awfully AMANZING, aren't those abs like a sheet of perfectly pounded metal?

CUE THE HARD ROCK.

Like a MANJESTIC SOARING MANGEL, IN FLIES BRORANGE. And BROKAY, he does have some kind of paper bag on his head, but THAT IS DOING NOTHING ABOUT THE SUDDEN HOTNESS IN THIS ROOM. HIS THIGHS ARE EXACTLY LIKE THE AMANZING ART, EXCEPT EVEN BETTER. THERE IS NO DEFENCE AGAINST THE MANCREDIBLE LEVELS OF RED-HOT MENERGY HE IS RADIATING. BEARS ARE SWOONING IN THE HEAT! THERE IS A MANLY IGUANA BRO, COMPLETELY SHREDDING AN ABSOLUTELY SICK DRUM FILL. BRORANGE IS BROCKING OUT. THE BEARS ARE BROCKING OUT COLD. EXCEPT ALSO HOT BECAUSE IT IS SEARING

AND BRORANGE HASN'T EVEN BEGUN THE RECORDER SOLO YET. HE HAS A RECORDER. BECAUSE HE'S FREAKING AWESOME. And there's also NO WAY BRORANGE DOES NOT LIFT EVERY DAY. Could he have been... spreading false rumours? Does he just have terrible self esteem? Just who is the MAN BEHIND THE MASK?!?

Whoever he is, for many an unfortunate challenger, BRORANGE represents a humbling lesson of TRUE MANDOM: NEVER TRUST A MAN WITH A RECORDER.

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CHERRYBOMB. There are some for who the very name triggers INTENSE PALPITATIONS, SWEATING, and EVEN DEATH, though of course they always get better.

Not many make it past the twin threats of the first and last of the POWERTHIRST, but for those select few, 'Cheri' is a frequent run-ender. After the tremendous fire that was the trial of BRORANGE, MANLY DUDES must now past an EVEN MORE MANTENSE test: escaping EXTREME BRONVERSATION with THE ONE AND ONLY CHERRYBOMB.

AND EXTREME IS NOT A LONG MENOUGH WORD! Thirty metres long, eight thousand kilos in weight, CHERRYBOMB feels like he's the length of his own labyrinth, his coils impossible to lift. No dragon can escape him, once he has heard them - it is time for them to hear him! And BRONCE CHERRYBOMB HAS STARTED TALKING, IT WILL NOT STOP, NOT EVEN IF MANY BEARS WERE TO ENTER THE SCENE. In fact, adding more bears would just make things worse, because CHERRYBOMB LOVES AN AUDIENCE. THE MORE BROGONS, BEARS, AND BROBJECTS THAT WILL PASS ON THE MIGHTY MYTH OF CHERRYBOMB, THE BETTER.

What has CHERRYBOMB done to earn himself such a saga, you may ask? EVERYTHING. CHERRYBOMB HAS DONE EVERYTHING. CHERRYBOMB HAS ALSO INVENTED EVERYTHING. And NO DRAGON SHALL LIFT THEIR WAY OUT OF HEARING IT ALL. Fire? CHERRYBOMB WAS BLOWING HIS NOSE ONE DAY. Bears? CHERRYBOMB NEEDED TO CREATE SOMETHING TO LIFT. Manliness? CHERRYBOMB LOOKED INTO A PUDDLE. Bacon? CHERRYBOMB REQUIRED SUSENTANCE FOR HIS IMMENSE AND AWESOMELY MUSCULAR PHYSIQUE.

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others were shockolate, powerthirst, rawrberry, and... gun,