Diana

and it’s not quite winter, and it’s not quite spring
as i’m moving away from everything
and i wish i’d told my mother that i loved her
it’s a lie, but sometimes we gotta lie to one another
(so what?)

and i didn't wear a coat, cause you said it’s warming up
except my ribs are showing, so my body heat is not enough
and you gave me your jacket, yeah you said that i could have it
did i do it cause you said it’s fine, or cause your hand is next to mine?

there’s a rabbit in my yard and you know i didn't notice
cause i’m used to it, but you weren’t, so you were hyperfocused
on the way it moved around and on the way it ate the flowers
well i guess it’s like the deer, cause i could stare at them for hours, and
did you tell my father where we went and where we’re going?
all the way up in the mountains just to see if it’s still snowing
cause i think that he might keep me here, just because he runs on spite
i learned how to do that from him, i learned how to survive a fight

the daffodils are growing and i know you say i dig too deep
but did you know that daffodils, they just have so much history?
like rebirth and narcissus and the things i say when half asleep
and curses and starvation and stone bricks entwined with old oak trees

i’ll write the world a letter filled with words and lines and songs
all the little hidden moments, where the good outweighed the wrong
and i’m not asking for a “perfect”, i’m just asking for a “better”
for a time when you can walk outside, no matter what the weather

and i guess i didn't wear a coat, cause everything is warming up
except my ribs are showing, and sometimes this place is not enough
and you gave me your jacket, yeah you said that i could have it
did i do it cause you said it’s fine, or cause your hand is next to mine?