Kai

-Gene Change Iridescent

Once done geneing, redo outfit.

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-Kai, I haven't touched a vegetable in three weeks!
-Be my friend or I'll put nightshade in your ice cream
-I don't like it when people breathe on my cosplay.
-There is no such thing as 'friend'. Only people I hate less.
-Am I the only one who actually likes Frozen?
-God, typing is so boring... All you do is type...
-I like sunshine. It burns people alive.
-Mom, stop. Your love is hurting my reputation of being stone cold.
-Hey, where did you get that cut, a leaf?
-I would read it but I'm blind
-Leave me alone, I'm practicing. "Practicing what?" Witchcraft.
-I AM DARKNESS. I AM THE NIGHT. I. AM. BUTTMAN.
-I'll be murdering innocent baby thistles if you need me
-You baka, anime is not a cartoon!
-Oh no they're talking.
-What do you mean I'm edgy I'm too adorable to do that!
-So what if I'm younger I still have twice the brain capacity you have!
-Recycle or die.
-Please leave me alone I'm trying to poison people.
-Look, I would talk to you, but I'm water-starved.
-Can you please go in front of the target?
-AH RUN IT'S THE WOLVERINES! "...Those are snakes." Oh.
-I'm still surprised we haven't killed each other, you know, since we're surrounded by thistle.
-Stop throwing water over the fire, you're hurting it!
-I've felt this way before sO INSECURE WAKE ME UP INSIDE.
-No, stop giving me food, it's too ugly!
-Winter kills people. I like it.
-I'm speaking to the the souls of the dead leave me alone.
-I would be all four Hogwarts houses.
-I will never cut my nails. Offense over defense.
-Look at this butterfly. Now eat it.
-LOOK AT ALL THIS CHICORITA "It's chico-" SHUT UP
-Every coral has its thorn. "I think you're thinking of roses..." And I think I'm thinking of coral.
-I don't know why but I really wanna stuff some Purple down your throat.
-I am leaving this plane of existence and I'm taking all these random books with me.
-Every day is April Fool's day what do you mean.
-*Starts a huge fire* Uh-oh, Spaghetti-Os!
-Can I listen to Vocaloid instead of work on the newspaper?
-"Alright, so, if anyone would like to work on the puns sectio-" YES
-"Hey wanna help with-" No
-"But the logo's pretty nice-" BUT IT'S FINDING FLIPPING DOORY
-What was that quote we could change to be relatable to our situation again?
-Ah, I can see it now, 'At least you arn't using paper origami frogs to finance our loss of our classroom plant like us'.
-Guys why are you dunking a metal cube into the graduated cylinder, we're done with the assignment.
-So for our anti-bullying comic strip, we should have a flying egg getting hit by a frying pan.
-The best part is that the classroom that all of this is coming from? We're part of our schools regional gifted center thingy.
-Flash flash! Wow, my forehead looks like a lightbulb!
-And then, the spaceship starts falling, and then it's on fire, and then this guy is panicking because the aliens are coming. And then- he starts a laser fight- and then everything explodes. Wait, I think this also sums up Arcane pretty well.
-Don't go in the water, there's a land shark in there!
-You're like the ketchup on a salad." "Who puts ketchup on a salad? It doesn't belong there!" Exactly.
-There's a guy in the trunk, but we don't talk about him, okay?
-So, summing up this school year, how would you describe your experiences?" The Emoji movie. "So, absolutely horrible?" Yes.
-*Hoards rainbow eraser dust* F A I R Y D U S T.
-Because I sang 'go go go godzilla'.
-Please don't put me in your ice cream
-Oh I will.
-"What's the blue stuff in a magic 8-ball?" Windex, I think.
-I'm tired I want to sleep I am going to kill you if you don't let me sleep Le T m3 Sl EeP Alr e Ad Y.
-*squints* Your handwriting is like someone took the English alphabet, threw in some Japanese, and then tried to translate it to Arabic. Is it supposed to be calligraphy?
-Did you just slap me with a fish!? Eww! *sobs*
-Floor ice cream gives you health!
-It smells like a sneeze in here.
-Sometimes I just want to run a scooter over my nose.
-If this was heaven we'd be eating poptarts.
-So then I realized I couldn't even feel the burger!
-Oh come on, It's just two exploding Zombies out of nowhere.
-An episode of law and order svu from 2000 came on TV so I said 'vintage law and order'.
-I AM CANCEL.
-Then thou child wept because thest memes were not of the freshest quality.
-wegg (verb)
The act of getting smited by RNGesus in the form of one lonely egg in the nest of your dream dragon pair.
"Icewarden hecking darn it Necromancy and Lancelot got wegged again."
-My favorite flavor of cake is more
-I can't decide whether it's more fun to annoy you, or to flirt with you.
-Stop being dumb. You're cuter when you're thinking.

Ways I Keep My Sanity.

1. sit in parked a car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars and see if they slow down
2. page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice
3. every time someone asks you to do something ask them if they want fries with that
4. put a paper bin on your desk and label it "in"
5. order a diet water whenever you go out to eat-- with a serious face
6. specify that your drive-through order is "to go"
7.skip rather than walk
8. sing along at the opera
9. five days in advance tell your friends you can't go to their party because you aren't in the mood
10. have your friends address you by your wrestling name, rock bottom
11. when money comes out of the cash machine scream "i won, i won!"
12.when leaving the zoo, start running toward the car park screaming "run for your lives, they're loose!"
13. find a good parking spot at the mall during rush hour and park in it with your reverse lights on
14. Anytime someone asks you 'why' reply with 'because im batman'
15. Look through glass and when someone is on the other side shout "OH MY GOD, I'M HIDEOUS!"
16. Bring a big chair into the elevator facing away from the door and when someone walks in, dramatically turn and say 'we've been expecting you.'
17. Walk up to someone, hand them a potato, look them in the eyes and deadpan 'with great power, comes great responsibility.' Walk away.
18. Call someone to tell them you can't talk right now.
19. Point at someone and shout "You're one of them!" Run and pretend to trip. Crawl away slowly.
20. Buy a donut and complain that there's a hole in it.
21. Put Mayonnaise in a bowl, freeze it, and tell your friend it's ice cream.
22. Put up a "Lost Dog" poster with a picture of a cat on it.
23. In a public toilet, pass a note under the door next to you saying, "They're onto us. We need to go."
24. If anyone asks you a question, answer with "Sorry, that's classified."