FATBLOB

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A congealed mass of fat, oil, tallow and adipocere vaguely shaped like a tundra, Eurwyn is not a pleasant sight to behold. Created from the run-off from the various graveyards and prisons of the plague-lands, it oozes from place to place in search of one thing: hair. The saponified stranger wants nothing more then cover its disgusting body in the fluffiest and softest of fur, in order to appear "cuter" and "friendlier." Though the fact that this hair comes from rather unwilling donors negates these goals.

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Once upon a time thr big glob of hairy fat sloshed across that ground ssssssuckcing yhe hairs off of rats, lint, dead things, etc but it easnt getting enough hair. And it was sad because well it tried to get it off of people but it only got 1 person the rest were too fast for poor slow blob :( and so the blob had and idea. It said im going to stoptaking it from unwilling donors because im really bad at it and im going to start being a barber. And so the blob opened a little barner store, in the plaguelands still and eeeeveryone came for a clipped and the bloob was clipping all that sweet juicy hair. But it was really hard becayse the scissors were really hard to hold :( for the blob and it eas really short. Slowly but surely though it gained better fingers wnd began cutting better haircuts, in the 80's style and 90ms. But every night after the barbing it closed up shop and begam slowly roombaing up the hair on the floor gaining it all into its body. The next day everyone saw its new hair style but the thing is it didnt look very good because even thoguh it was a master barber there was nobody to barb it back :( and so the hair stank. And not onyl that, but eveyrone started recognizing the hairs. "Thats MY hair strand " they said "thats MY sideburn" suddently everyone had grabbed and pulled all the hair off of the blob until there was NOTHING LEFT. The blob cried and cried and ran away closig the barnber shop forever. People started to fee bad they said wait but my hair looks good now and where will i go to get barbed. But its too late. The blob had left forecer and its going to get hair somewhere else

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The next day the blobnwas stopped by a strnage looking man he said Hey stranger do you think you could fit in a drain pipe. And the blob said uhhh i gues s. And ghe guy said oh cool. Im having a lot of plumbing plrovlems could you looook inthere. And the blob said well okay (gullible) and it stuck its eyeball in there but while it was looking the guy PUSHED the blob in there and FLUSHED THE SINK!!!! And the guy said SCREW YOU LAND LORD but it was too late the blob was plummeting and pummelling all the way down the long spiral drain.

When the blob reached the other side ofnthe drain it ended up on the bottom of a shower. There was anothier thing there, it was a hairball of hair on the floor. "Oh hy" said oil blob shy all of a sudden "i didnt see you there". "Hey " said the hair "you look sad" and fhe blob said yeah and told the hair ball all about its terrible sad story. And the shower drain hair ball said oh thats so sad becaude i always have so many haira and no matter how many hairs come out theres always more. And the blob said oh well cam i have some? And thr hair said ya and the blob said HOORAY!!!!!!$ and they both danced at the shower drain ball. Now the blob has as many hairs as it wants and the shower drain hairball is not lonely at the bottom of the shower drain anymore, it is married at the bottom of the shower drain. The end.