Orpheus

That bird is at my window again.

I'm tempted, briefly to kill it. End it's song before its too late, but I simply cannot bear the thought of such selfishness and it's beak is already open before I think to flee. Birdsong hits me like a physical blow and pain pervades my senses yet again.

I wish it would go, leave me to my silence. This cheerful melodious voice only makes the ache in my heart hurt worse with every trilling tone and chilling beat. It reminds me of what I have lost and what I will never touch again and each time it's tiny feathered form shadows my bedroom window the memories pour through me and I'm soon crying again. Sometimes it is only gasping, quiet sobs and I can keep the tears at bay...sometimes it is in keening wails pounding the empty walls. I lose control of my mind until I fall into blessed silent, exhausted dreams.

This time I sit silently, feeling the tears fall freely. I cannot turn away, cannot move, because the song reminds me of her.

I still have the lute. I've kept the instrument that once woo'd immortal and mortal alike, but I cannot bear to look upon it anymore. It has not been touched since that fateful day that I could not spare a moment longer without seeing my love, separated from me in death but soon to be mine again. I had only wait a moment longer and she would be free, but I turned too soon...and I lost her, and my song, forever.

The sparrow now falls silent and flits away, blissfully unaware of the torment it inflicts upon me. The torture listening to it instills inside my breast. I sit still, hardly noticing.

I shall move away tomorrow.

But I know that this is a lie.