Serena

Serena came to the Suncliff Lair bewildered and frightened, with a group of hatchlings bought at auction to be recruited to the service of the Lightweaver, in an epic battle with Shadow. When her time came to join in the service of Light, she wasn't ready.

The other hatchlings around her accepted their future with eagerness, but she... she balked. She cried. She backed away, shaking her head.

'I refuse to force a child into service she does not wish for, heart and soul,' Kikitt said, and gave Serena other tasks to assist in the battle efforts.

And so Serena came to observe her new home and its residents, uncertain of her place in it, but hoping to make it her home -- for the Call was not hers, to serve a deity. Not yet, at least.

# # #

Serena had never seen the grey-and-ivory tundra Fossy before the Dominance festival, but he came to her treat stand many times over, to eat and chat. Friendly chat. And afterward, he escorted her to Mystral's performances, and the evening singing, and...

His persistence was endearing. Some of the other drakes who vied for her attention (she wasn't sure why; she wasn't flashy, like some of the other dragonesses) were much more direct, complimenting her and preening all the time. She found the flattery irritating and the preening ridiculous. What she looked for most in this new home was a friend... and the closest thing she had so far was... Fossy.

So when her egg time finally approached, she listened to the advice of the older dragonesses... "Find someone you're comfortable with, and ask him before the fever takes you... or you will satisfy yourself with whoever happens to be nearest, and be forced to mind your eggs with someone whose company you can't stand."

And thus Serena came to Fossy. Her embarrassment surprised her, to ask for help with such a primal need. But he lit up like a light sprite, and accepted with a gentlemanly bow. He guided her to the nesting place, and did a creditable duty by her. They produced 3 glorious eggs -- and she and Fossy sent their children off to serve the Lightweaver with joy.

When it was time for Fossy to go, Serena was sad. He had proven a good friend, and she would be sorry to spend the next weeks without that friendship.

She'd have to find other companionship in the meantime... and would Fossy be the same when he returned?

# # #

She started and ripped up so many letters to Fossy -- nothing she tried to say sounded right! Even "Hope your visit is going well" sounded off, somehow. The more she tried to write, the more anxious she became... so she finally stopped altogether. He would be back; he always came back, they said. She would see him then.

And so she poured herself into her work -- odd jobs around the Lair, errands to the marketplace... she even went out on hunting and gathering forays, with Zidane, who showed her where to find the best fish, or Masque, who led her to the richest hunting grounds. She made friends with Erasthmus and Ambrosia, and reached out to shy Jun.

She began to notice Zidane and Erasthmus gently competing for her time. She had become friends with both, and their posturing made her slightly anxious... but she soon saw that their little rivalry was all good humor and fun, and she indulged them in it, once she let it be known that she wouldn't choose between them.

She also found she had an eye for cloth and its various shapes, and began to make clothing -- clothing! -- for other dragons to wear. Those who cared for such things. And some did.

# # #

Serena was called to the matriarch's lair, but was surprised to find only the Consort there, with an elegant tea laid out for the two of them to share. It... was the most uncomfortable tea she had ever had. The Consort's conversation was stilted and self-absorbed, and he spent most of the hour staring at her, which made her squirm. When he came closer and took her hand and started breathing compliments at her, she decided it was time to go... and she vowed she would never be put in THAT situation again.

Fossy would be returning, she hoped... and as she fled the matriarch's cave, she sent a swift prayer to the Lightweaver to speed him back.

# # #

Fossy returned! And came with such gifts...! Serena immediately donned the feathers and gold and silk, and let him admire her in them. Then she rubbed her face in his mane.

"I missed you," she said.

"And I you," he replied.

In this visit, they could not be separated. And when their turn came, Fossy demonstrated his virility on her to give her a nest of five eggs...! Serena was bashful in the face of the clan's celebration of the honor, and pleased with herself and with her love.

And then his visit was over, far too soon. She would await him again, but in the meantime, she busied herself with her duties in the clan.

# # #

After Fossy departed, Serena busied herself with work -- fashioning apparel for other dragons, helping with the creation of new magicks that might bedeck dragons' scales with gold -- but nothing she did could fill the hole that Fossy's absence made. She longed for him. All the same, she knew he loved her; and she knew he would return. Nothing could erase that truth. And so she filled her time, but let herself think of him as often as she wanted to.

And if the Consort watched her from afar, she tried not to notice. At least he stayed away from her. Instead, she spent her time with Freya and Zidane -- who, to her astonishment, were both aware of the Consort's interest in her. ("It's so obvious," Freya had said. "Anyone with eyes could tell," Zidane had assured her. It was not comforting.)

None of the drakes attracted her, for none of them were Fossy. And so she waited. And when her egg time should have come, she noticed the Consort watching her very closely. But he thankfully was drawn away to the matriarch's nest, to do his duty to Kikitt, and thus was no longer a danger to her.

When the call came for volunteers to serve the Lightweaver, Serena noticed that Fossy's father Magmashine signed up, and gladly. She wrote to her love to let him know, for she knew Magmashine, in his enthusiasm, wouldn't have thought to say anything. He was that impulsive, after all.

# # #

At last, Fossy returned! And the two of them enjoyed their visit to its fullest -- starting (and ending) with the nesting grounds. She even enjoyed time with Fossy's son Weld and grandchild Terra -- as close to family as Serena had ever experienced. She cherished it all, and the closeness she felt to the dragons around her warmed her more than the Plaguemother's creche ever had.

Naturally Fossy had to leave before Serena was ready for him to go, but go he did, and she retreated to the company of her friends.

She pined more than ever in Fossy's absence. As the time drew near for him to return, she found herself wandering often near the nesting grounds. They were full of good memories, those caves; she and Fossy with their eggs, then tenderly caring for their new children as they hatched, preparing them for whatever their life would bring.

And that is where the Consort found her.

He had found her alone. How could she have been so careless? He started with soft words, coaxing words. He flattered her, praised her. He strode towards her, and she backed away... but she had not watched carefully enough, and the open portal behind her was the entrance to a nesting cave. He filled the cave mouth now. He was so massive... nearly ten times her weight in sheer mass.

Then he was on top of her, his weight on her so heavy she couldn't move. She fought him, she tried to fight, but her claws found no purchase and her lungs so compressed she could make no sound that anyone could hear outside the cave.

Oh, he was begetting eggs on her. Oh, Plaguemother!

And then she felt the Plaguemother's embrace -- a thing not quite pain, but close -- and white-hot, it lanced through her body and erupted through her skin. Then the Consort was clambering off of her, roaring in pain. She watched him back away. His bewildered eyes met hers. Then stumbling backward, he was gone.

In shame and pain, she bore the two eggs the Consort had gotten on her. Then she curled in the furthest, darkest corner of the cave and wept.

# # #

Shadow came to her first. He saw and recognized the Plaguemother's touch -- and was swift to bring her the herbs and salves to begin her healing. He saw her need for solitude and let her be alone -- and kept her alone.

The eggs hatched in their time. Serena welcomed her hatchlings with affection they deserved but she didn't completely feel -- sent them to the Lightweaver's service. Then Shadow moved her to a new cave for the rest of her convalescence.

In that time -- in the darkness of her cave, alone and healing -- Serena despaired. She heard Fossy call to her now and then from the mouth of the cave, but she couldn't answer him; she could only weep. She felt broken and violated. Would Fossy still love her? Would he accept her deformity...? Shadow could not tell her if it would go away in time or if she would always have it. She... almost didn't want it to go away. It was a sign that the Plaguemother watched over her. It was a sign of her protection.

Would he... want to take her to nest? She couldn't. Not so soon.

It was endless days in the darkness before finally Shadow declared her hale.

Not even a day passed before Fossy was there. Serena calmed herself and allowed him enter. She would see, in his eyes, whether he would accept her or not. She stood as he approached. His eyes... his eyes held hers. He asked after her health. He blamed himself and his absence for her affliction. She couldn't let him do that.

He did not stare. He did not ask, except to know if she was well. All he wanted, in the end, was to be near her.

To that, she could consent. And did, gratefully.

# # #

Serena's recovery took many, many months... if she could be said to be recovered. She still bore the Plaguemother's mark. She still cringed at shadows. She shied away from the nesting caves. She avoided the clan's Imperials. She didn't make a big deal of it; she simply... stayed out of their way. Except for Shadow, who had been instrumental in her healing. The others... Most of them understood.

It was Fossy's gentle patience that brought her back. His kindness. His thoughtfulness. His consideration of her. He never pressured. And when they finally went to nest... she was the one who drew him there.

That, too, was healing.

And in time, Consort no longer loomed over her thoughts every day.

Then she got the letter.

She stared at it unseeing for many, many heartbeats. The name of the sender -- Rescuer of the Library Reclaimed, it said -- was unfamiliar to her, but the handwriting was very. She forced herself to open the seal and unfold the letter. What could the Consort possibly have to say to her now? Did he think it would undo what was past?

All those feelings welled up again. Fear. Anger. Pain. Oh, the pain. It threatened to drag her down again into that emotional abyss that had claimed her in those early days after the assault. She fought it, and she read.

And... she found that she did not hate him. But she was not sure she could forgive him. Yet. If ever. But his pain... at least he had seen what he had done with new eyes. At least he would never visit that pain on anyone else.

She could ignore the letter and not respond. Maybe she should.

She found her way to a hill covered with newly-emerging tulip sprouts, and sat there long among the upright stalks, contemplating the sky and her heart.

Serena could not show the letter to Fossy -- he was too angry on her behalf -- and so could not ask him advice. Kikitt, or better yet, Baxil, might have wisdom in matters like this, but Serena couldn't bother them with something so personal.

It was many, many days before she decided what to do.

She asked Amacitia to teach her the language of flowers. Then she went back to the tulips, where some white ones were still in bloom. She brought with her Topazia, who had some knowledge of arcane magicks, and was thus able to pluck and preserve one of the white blooms, so it would travel well without fading. She wrapped the small bundle carefully, sealed it with her wax seal, and sent it away.

That would be her answer. Let "Rescuer" make of it what he would.