Bird

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal thoughts are a part of this (unfinished) lore!

Bird woke with a gasp, scrambling to his feet, chest heaving. His heart rate slowed a little as he realised that what he had just seen was merely a nightmare.
___Or a memory.
___Shivering, he rolled his shoulders, stretching his wings. He was tired, but it was impossible for him to get more than a few minutes sleep at a time.
___He curled up and closed his eyes, but sleep refused to come. Eventually he sighed and stood up. It looked like tonight, like the past few nights was for traveling, not sleeping.
___Blinking several times to clear his eyes, he pushed on. He didn’t know where he was going, and he didn’t care. So long as he wasn’t here. Here was full of death.
___And now he was thinking about it again. He tried to stop, but it was impossible. He ran, wings spread, through the trees that barred his way to the sky.
___Panting, vision blurred, chest and legs burning, he pushed on, trying to escape his memories, to no avail. They followed him like a plague.
___Like a plague.
___Bird didn’t know how long he ran for, or how far he ran, all he knew was it wasn’t far enough. He could never escape the horrors he had seen as long as he lived.
___His vision was blurred, and he could barely force his legs to move as he heaved in great gulps of air. He closed his eyes, stumbling onward until he bashed into something. It was a rock, cool and refreshing on his hide.
___He collapsed, gasping, just lying there. His situation was so hopeless and frightening. What was he supposed to do? Everyone in his clan was dead, as far as he knew, apart from him. He had no hunting skills. He could forage, he knew a lot about plants from his dad. But plants weren’t a natural part of a Coatl’s diet, and they could make him very sick if he had to eat them in the long run. Also, on top of that, he wasn’t as familiar with the plants here. While his father knew a lot about plants that weren’t native to where their clan had lived, Bird was not at all convinced of his own skills to identify unfamiliar plants correctly.
___And plants brought back too many painful memories. His only option, he supposed, would be to practice fishing. And soon, otherwise he was going to starve.
___Just thinking about food caused painful hunger pangs. He winced; he had never been this hungry before in his life, not even when Florian had…
___He shuddered, and pushed the memories as far back as he could. Even if he could provide food and water for himself, how was he going to sleep? Lack of sleep could kill you. And if the memories drove him insane…
___Talons pressed to the side of his head, Bird tried to block out the negative thoughts, but they kept coming back, persistent. The thoughts could drive him insane on their own.
___A whimper escaped. What was he going to do? He wasn’t a solitary dragon; he had essentially no knowledge on fish catching; his clan was obliterated - what could he do?
___Tired out by his run, lack of food and the stress of his situation, Bird fell asleep, despite all his attempts not to.


Bird woke slowly, blinking rapidly as a few dots of sunlight shining through the trees landed on his eyes, fracturing and spinning of their facets. He lay there lazily for a moment, feeling rather relaxed, until his stomach rumbled and panged, reminding him of everything.
___He shuddered in a surprised way. He sighed heavily, lying there limply as he tried to decide what to do. First of all, he supposed, he ought to find some water. To drink. And then to fish.
___He tried to find the motivation required to get up, but couldn’t. Eventually, his thirst and hunger forced him to move.
___As he stood he wasn’t sure what hurt worse - his dry throat, starving stomach or aching muscles. Either way - it all really really hurt.
___Bird kept his nose high in the air, sniffing for water as he stumbled along on stiff limbs, frequently tripping over tree roots and small rocks, crunching through the leaf litter that hid these obstacles from sight.
___Having been brought up in Dragonhome, Bird had a keen nose for water, and he soon scented it. Unfortunately, it was still kilometers away. But at least it was there.
___Bird continued on at a steady pace, tripping less and less now that he was paying more attention to where he was going and he had unstiffened somewhat, fantasising about dipping his muzzle into cool, fresh water and letting it trickle down his throat.
___The smell of water stronger now, he picked up his pace, knowing it was near. And, glinting in the dappled sunlight, was a stream.
___He picked up his pace and promptly tripped over something, landing flat on his face not far from the water’s edge. He shook himself off, turning to see what had tripped him up this time. What he saw nearly gave him a heart attack.
___Gasping and reeling, Bird staggered back, the trees spinning around him. He curled himself up, eyes shut tight, trying to get his racing heart and erratic breathing under control.
___When he was breathing more evenly, he raised his trembling head and cringed. In front of him was a surprisingly intact, bleached ribcage. Several other bones were scattered around, including a Mirror’s horned skull.
___Eyes darting nervously, he looked around. To his relief, there didn’t appear to be anyone around.
___Bird shook himself off again with a shudder, trying to stop his skin crawling. It worked. Sort of.
___Cautiously studying the remains, he realised that they were extremely old - years old in fact. He was amazed that they weren’t more brittle, especially considering how damp it was. Maybe dragon bones were different.
___The skeleton unnerved him too much for him to take more than a few mouthfuls of water - just enough to stop his throat hurting, and moisten it again.
___And if he couldn’t even drink more than a few mouthfuls, how would he fish? Jumping into the water, he let it carry him downstream, away from the skeleton which prompted memories he wanted nothing to do with.
___The stream grew larger and larger, until it was a good sized river. As it spun him round, Bird began to get alarmed, having an increasingly hard time steering. Realising that if it got any bigger, he might not be able to get out, he paddled frantically toward the nearest bank, trying to use his wings for extra propulsion, but that just seemed to make him spin around more.
___Sputtering and gasping, Bird pulled himself out of the water, sides heaving. That, he thought, was god-damned freaky.
___After his swim, Bird was, once he had calmed down a little, feeling very refreshed, and extra extra extra hungry.
___Taking a few more minutes to rest, Bird carefully peered into the water, trying to see if there were any fish. It was hard to tell with the movements of the water’s surface and the way it reflected the sun into his eyes.
___“Hello?”
___Bird startled so badly that he tumbled right back into the river. He clawed frantically at the water, not sure which way was was up and which way was down. Small fish fled, their scales flashing as they caught the sunlight.
___Panicking, he thrashed the water, trying to find a way to the surface. Something appeared in the corner of his vision, and strong talons gripped about his middle, digging in a little. There was a slight pause, then he was rocketing back to the surface.
___His head popped out above the water, and he gasped, mostly in surprise and fear. He hadn’t been underwater that long. He twisted, trying to escape the iron grip around his stomach, going right into flight mode.
___“Calm down,” a voice growled, and whoever was holding him shook him. Twisting his neck he saw that a young Skydancer was pulling him back up the bank of the river. She let go of him when they were a couple of tail lengths away from the water’s edge.
___“I do apologise for giving you such a fright; there’s no need to claw me so hard.” The Skydancer seemed both irritable and concerned at the same time.
___It took a minute to Bird to relax, and for his brain to send the right signals to his mouth for him to talk. “I-I-I’m sorry. I-I didn’t, um, I just-”
___“Take a deep breath,” she suggested, “and a moment to get your thoughts in order. It might help.”
___He did as she advised. “I, um, I’m sorry, I was just completely freaking out,” his voice was rusty from disuse. “I didn’t mean to scratch you, I hope you’re okay.”
___She tossed her head in a proud-almost-amused way. “Your claws are the least of my worries.” She took a moment to look him over. “Are you alright? You’re extremely thin; has your clan been feeding you properly?”
___His breath caught, and the world spun. He dug his claws into the ground until everything stilled. “I-I… I’m lost,” he said. It was a part of the truth, and he couldn’t bear facing the rest.
___The Skydancer nodded slowly. “I see. You’re a Coatl - fish eater, eh?”
___He nodded mutely.
___“Hmm, fish… I’ve got something somewhere of that sort…” she trailed off thoughtfully for a moment. Then, “OI, SAVANNAH!”
___Bird nearly made it all the way across the river he was so surprised at the sudden yell. A moment later, he heard someone call back; “Coming!”
___Not even a minute later a striped, green Wildclaw appeared. She started a little at the sight of Bird, and looked questioningly at the Skydancer. She probably said something, but he didn’t hear over the rushing sound in his ears. Although she had nothing in common with his mother apart from being a shade of green and the same breed - and gender, of course. Grief threatened to overwhelm him.
___The two other dragons’ heads whipped around to look at him, their attention drawn by his hyperventilating.
___“Are you okay?” the Wildclaw asked, stepping forward.
___“I - I -” he looked around wildly. He couldn’t do this. Twisting away from the Skydancer, he shot into the trees so fast that everything slid out of focus.
___All he saw before impact was a blurred mess of yellows.

“... Do you think he’s okay?”
___“If he had run into a rock? Yes. But having run into you? I highly doubt it.”
___“I beg your pardon, you illegitimate spawn of a - a - a Centaur1”
___There was a sputter and the sound of claws scraping on rock as Bird slowly regained consciousness, trying to figure out what was going on.
___“That’s enough, you two!” A firm voice snapped. “Not in the healer’s den! Out! Now!”
___He lay there a moment, groggily trying to put the pieces together. It came back to him in a rush, and he jumped up.
___“Woah, there!” a voice exclaimed as the world tilted crazily, his head throbbing in time with his heartbeat. “Not so fast.”
___Cool talons rested on his skin and gently steadied him, guiding him back into a lying position.
___Bird blinked rapidly, trying to make his vision settle. It was all blurry and shimmery, like he was looking at everything through a strong heat haze. “Where am I?” he whimpered. “What’s wrong with my eyes?”
___“You have a concussion,” the voice explained. “You’re in a safe place. Now, can you tell me what happened?”
___“Um, I was running, and I hit something…”
___“You must have been running extremely fast to get a concussion. And how do you feel?”
___“Uh. Bad headache. A little dizzy. Um, my vision’s all funny.”
___He saw movement - was the dragon - he assumed they were a dragon - nodding their head? “Your headache should fade in a day or two, and hopefully the dizziness will be mostly gone in a couple of hours. As for your eyes, that shouldn’t last long at all.”
___Almost as though proving the dragon correct, his vision sharpened a little, and he saw another Skydancer standing in front of him, her dark scales glinting dimly in the gloom.
___He stared at her a moment, captivated by her deep purple eyes.
___“Hellooo?” she said softly, her head tipped in a concerned way.
___He jumped a little. “Uh - I,” he blinked rapidly trying to gather his thoughts.
___The Skydancer made a sympathetic face. “Lack of concentration - another symptom of a concussion. That should fade soon as well, and I’m sure you’ll be back to normal in no time.”
___No, he thought. He could never get back to “normal”. He had lost his entire clan to bad leadership and disease. Nothing would ever be normal again. It was impossible. But how he longed to see his parents again…
___He twitched, realising he had gotten distracted again. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.
___“No no, that’s okay! Just try not to fall asleep, if you can help it.” The Skydancer tipped her head. She radiated a sense of peace and warmth.
___“I won’t. What’s wrong with sleeping?” As far as he knew, sleep was extra important when you were unwell - not that he really wanted to sleep, although he was feeling a little tired.
___“Well, it’s not as dangerous as it would be if you were on your own, as we can use magic, but... Sometimes when you get a concussion and fall asleep, you don’t wake up again. There’s no need to worry though,” she hurried to reassure him.
___He nodded, showing he had heard. To be honest, he almost thought never waking up again would be a relief. It sounded like a peaceful way to go. And then all his bad memories would never plague him again.
___Bird didn’t believe that there was an afterlife. He thought that death was effectively an eternal, dreamless sleep. And right now, that was the only thing he thought could help. But he still didn’t dare sleep - what if he still woke up? Dreams were a hundred times worse than the memories - they twisted everything in the worst ways possible, as only dreams could.
___Gods, he was useless. He couldn’t save his clan - and nor could he save or end himself. It was depressing, really. What was he supposed to do as a useless dragon? He might as well starve himself to death for all the good he would do anyone.
___He lay desolately in his nest as the friendly Skydancer hummed to herself. The other nests in the cave were empty, and the two dragons who came in had only minor injuries and were gone in minutes.
___“Um - ah.”
___He looked up, surprised. The Skydancer was standing in front of him again.
___“Very silly of me - I completely forgot to ask your name.”
___“Bird,” he said flatly.
___She tipped her head. “That has to be one of the cutest names I have ever heard.” There was a genuine, loving glow in her eyes. “I’m Hellebore. I know, who would name their hatchling after a poisonous plant? What can I say, at least it’s pretty.” She chuckled softly. “Anyway, Lys - she’s who you crashed into - was concerned and wanted to check in on you, if that’s okay with you.”
___He nodded. He didn’t want a dragon to feel guilty purely because he had crashed into them and given himself a concussion.
___Hellebore tipped her head in a way that seemed to simulate smiling. “I’ll let her know.” She disappeared outside of the cave for a moment, then returned leading Lys.
___Bird blinked several times, wondering if he was hallucinating - this was no dragon! This was a winged, horned Imperial sized horse! He had to crane his neck to look at her.
___“Are you okay?” the dragon-horse asked. Hellebore was in the background grinding herbs.
___“Am-am I hallucinating?” he stuttered. It would be just his bad luck to be plagued by horrifying nightmares during his waking hours as well as in his dreams.
___The dragon-horse squeaked in alarm. “Hellebore!”
___The Skydancer hurried over. “What is it? Are you okay?”
___“He says he thinks he’s hallucinating!”
___Concerned, Hellebore whipped round to face him. “What can you see?” she demanded urgently.
___“I-it’s her! The dragon - she’s a giant horse!” The words tumbled out in a rush, and he was trembling uncontrollably against the back of the nest.
___The tension drained out of them, and he could have sworn he heard a giggle.
___“Oh - Bird, I’m so sorry! I should have warned you - Lys’s favourite form is that of a horse. That was stupid of me - you’ve just had a knock on the head, you must have been so scared for a moment. That was so silly of me!” he could feel the apology flowing off the Skydancer in great waves.
___“Oh! That’s okay!” Bird also relaxed, and for a moment the urge to giggle came over him. It faded quickly. It didn’t occur to him that perhaps everything was an illusion.
___Lys settled herself down in front of him. He felt a pang of alarm - it looked as though she was intending to have a long conversation. Or perhaps she was just too cramped standing up considering her size.
___But to his surprise, it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. She apologised for being where he was going and he apologised for not looking. The conversation moved onto trivial things, and while they were all shrouded in sadness, as almost everything had a familial connection, it wasn’t as bad as he had thought. He learned that he was in Starwood Strand, at the very edge of the forests, and that he had been found at the edge of the Arcane and Plague territories. Hellebore interrupted their conversation at one point to say that he should let them know if he was hungry or thirsty. Bird promised to do so, feeling somewhat surprised that he wasn’t hungry, but didn’t ask.
___At some point, yet another Skydancer bustled in, lighting candles and lanterns. She spoke to Hellebore in slightly snappish tones, but apart from to ask Bird how he felt, she left him alone.
___And for the first time since he had fled his old clan, Bird thought he was well and truly relaxed, and without meaning to, he fell asleep.

Bird woke with a slight start. Where was he? What was going on? He wasn’t supposed to be sleeping…? Oh… Oh, yes. That was what happened. He shivered a little.
___“‘Morning,” a black-and-blue mottled Skydancer said. He vaguely recalled seeing her the day before. “How are you feeling?”
___“Uh…” To be honest, Bird wasn’t sure how to reply to that. He still had a headache, but it was nowhere near as bad as before. He didn’t feel dizzy at the moment, and his mind felt sharper. His vision was fine. “A bit headachy.”
___“Mmm, yes, you’ll likely have a headache for another day or two. If it gets too painful for you, come back and see me.”
___“What? You mean…”
___“You’re essentially okay, and you’re free to go. I don’t want you taking up any unnecessary space which another dragon might need.” This dragon didn’t seem nice enough to be a healer. Hellebore was much nicer.
___“B-but… I don’t know my way around…” Bird fiddled with the edge of his nest. What was he supposed to do?
___The Skydancer sighed. “Very well… HELLEBORE! And I’ll thank you kindly to stop pulling apart that nest,” she snapped.
___Bird jumped out of the nest, stumbling a little. His balance was still off.
___Hellebore came running in, a concerned look on her face. “Is something the matter?”
___A muscle in the other Skydancer’s jaw twitched. “Yes, he needs someone to help him figure things out.” She jerked her head at Bird.
___“Oh… Nyx… There’s no-one else who needs tending to - couldn’t you -”
___“No,” Nyx snapped. “You know the rules - there must be at least one healer in the cave at all times.”
___Hellebore sighed. “Come on,” she said to Bird. As she looked at him, her demeanour changed from weary to kind. “I’ll get you something to eat, then you can talk to Snay.”
___“Who’s Snay?” he queried.
___“She’s the alpha female. Or basically the leader - she makes most of the decisions, but her mate, Jae Bird, is the same rank. She’s the stern one. He’s quite a sweetie, actually.”
___Bird hardly heard anything past the word “leader”. He shuddered involuntarily. No. This dragon was not Florien. At least… Not necessarily. He froze in place, taking a deep, calming breath.
___“Are you okay?” Hellebore asked, concerned, pausing beside him.
___“I - I, yeah, I’m - I’m fine. I’m okay.” He brushed off her concerns, trying to convince her he was fine. Trying to convince himself he was fine.
___“Oh look - they’ve just been fishing!” Hellebore picked up the pace, heading toward a small group of dragons laden with strings of fish.
___The group consisted of two Mirrors, a Pearlcatcher, and a Wildclaw. One of the Mirrors was dressed in a camouflage-y way, mostly in browns and greens. The other Mirror was full of purples and pinks, and dressed much more flashily. The Pearlcatcher had petals floating around him, seemingly of their own accord. The Wildclaw was also sort of camo, although most of it was her own natural green colours.
___“You might not want to talk to Rin, she’s not the easiest to get along with,” Hellebore murmured, indicating the pink-and-purple Mirror.
___Bird shrugged. He didn’t really intend to talk to anyone
.

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[img]Art by Serpentarius[/img]