DIGITANG

DIGITANG - BEST TECH SUPPORT FOR A MOSTLY TECH-FREE CLAN, FOUR YEARS RUNNING!

The weird, VAGUELY GOTHY buddy clan [the Object] informed TANGSAURUS that ALL THE COOL KIDS LOVE CIRCUIT TERT and that the lack of CIRCUIT in CLAN TANGFEARSOME meant that they were a clan of HOPELESS DORKS who might even DIE ALONE AND UNLOVED. Despite his secret suspicion that CIRCUIT TERT was pretty PRETENTIOUS and didn't really fit the TANGFEARSOME AESTHETIC, TANGSAURUS dutifully got himself to the AUCTIONHAUS in order to rescue his clan from TERMINAL DORKERY.

"I'M HERE TO BUY A NERD," he told the DRACONOMORPHIC SEARCH BAR once he got there.

"We have many nerds!" the search bar declared. "Would you like to narrow your search?"

"PLEASE DON'T ASK THE HARD QUESTIONS," TANGSAURUS pleaded. "I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT NERDS. I THINK THEY EAT ANIME?"

"I can fix that," said a very HANDSOME ridgeback out on the NERD SALES FLOOR. She PIERCED HIS SOUL with her PIERCINGLY DIRT-COLORED EYE LOOKINGS. "I can fix...ANYTHING."

"YOU'RE HIRED," said TANGSAURUS, and that was how DIGITANG came to be the OFFICIAL TANGFEARSOME TECH SUPPORT GURU for the TECH THAT THEY DIDN'T ACTUALLY HAVE.

Because TANGSAURUS read a NERD CARE SHEET on the INTERWEBS that he was able to access through the HIGH SPEED INVISIBLE MYSTERY INFO GIVING THING on his COMPUTER which he made out of a POLISHED GOAT SCAPULA (known to be the best BLEEDING EDGE COMPUTER-MAKING THING AVAILABLE ON TODAY'S MARKET, as he also read on the INTERWEBS), TANGSAURUS learned that PROPER NERD HUSBANDRY requires NERDS to live in NERD HERDS or else they get LONELY and NEUROTIC and run up a lot of NERD VET BILLS. Thus, TANGSAURUS got himself back to the AUCTIONHAUS and bought ANOTHER NERD, WORLDWIDETANG, and they bonded in HARMONIOUS NERD LOVE and combined their TECH SUPPORT POWERS to make CLAN TANGFEARSOME the MOST TECH-SUPPORTED HOLE IN A VOLCANO in all of FIRE COUNTRY.

DIGITANG - A TECH GENIUS SO POWERFUL THAT SHE'LL SUPPORT TECH YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU HAD!!